The best school jokes

A young Jewish Mom walks her son to the school bus corner on his first day of kindergarten. "Behave, my bubaleh," she says. "Take good care of yourself and think about your Mother, tataleh!" "And come right back home on the bus, schein kindaleh." "Your Mommy loves you a lot, my ketsaleh!" At the end of the school day the bus comes back and she runs to her son and hugs him. "So what did my pupaleh learn on his first day of school?" The boy answers, "I learned my name is David."
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has 68.34 % from 146 votes. More jokes about: jewish, racist, school
Johnny: Teacher, would you punish me for something I didn’t do? Teacher: Of course not. Johnny: Good, because I didn’t do my homework.
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has 68.32 % from 89 votes. More jokes about: school
The answer to the problem was “log(1+x)”. A student copied the answer from the student next to him, but didn’t want to make it obvious that he was cheating, so he changed the answer slightly, to “timber(1+x).”
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has 68.26 % from 52 votes. More jokes about: school
A mother noticed her little dauther praying. "Please, God," the little girl kept saying. "Bless my father and my mother and make Melaka the capital city of Malaysia." "Why did you make such as strange request?" the mother asked. "Beacause that's what I wrote in my Geography test this morning!"
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has 68.23 % from 404 votes. More jokes about: geography, god, kids, school
I'll be honest. I did not graduate at the top of my class. In fact, I was so close to the bottom, my sheepskin had a tail.
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has 67.88 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: graduation, school, student
Get bad marks, relatives will insult you. Get good marks, friends will insult you.
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has 67.88 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: family, friendship, insulting, school
It's graduation day, and everybody's going to get their diploma but Josh. At the assembly, the entire senior class stands up and shouts "Let Josh graduate, let Josh graduate!" The principal agrees to give Josh one last chance. "If I have five apples in my right hand and five in my left hand, Josh, how many apples do I have?" he asked. Josh thought long and hard and then said: "Ten." And the entire senior class stood up and shouted, "Give Josh another chance. Give Josh another chance!"
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has 67.78 % from 36 votes. More jokes about: graduation, school, student
I wish my grades would smoke weed too so we could both get higher.
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has 67.78 % from 36 votes. More jokes about: school, weed
A little boy was so exited because his mom told him he is getting a baby brother. He repeated that to his techer every day, when he came to school, "Im getting a brother." One day his mom alllowed him to feel the baby's kicks in her belly. The next day he came to school and didnt say anything to his teacher, so the teacher asked him, what happend to his brother. He replyed, "I think mommy ate him."
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has 67.69 % from 32 votes. More jokes about: baby, kids, school, teacher
Teacher: "Don't forget to check the Internet if you have trouble with your homework questions." Pupil: "It's not the questions I have trouble with, it's the answers."
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has 67.68 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: internet, school, student, teacher
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