The art teacher instructed her students to do a self portrait. When Andrew handed his picture in, the teacher took one look at it and said, "But, Andrew,this isn’t you." "That’s right," replied Andrew. "It’s a self portrait of someone else."
The answer to the problem was “log(1+x)”. A student copied the answer from the student next to him, but didn’t want to make it obvious that he was cheating, so he changed the answer slightly, to “timber(1+x).”
A teacher noticed that a little boy at the back of the class, was squirming around, scratching his crotch and not paying attention. She went back to find out what was going on. He was quite embarrassed and whispered that he had just recently been circumcised and he was quite itchy. The teacher told him to go down to the principal’s office; he was to phone his mother and ask her what he should do about it. He did, and returned to his class. Suddenly, there was a commotion at the back of the room. She went back to investigate only to find him sitting at his desk with his penis hanging out. "I thought I told you to call your Mom," she screamed. "I did," he said, "and she told me that if I could stick it out till noon, she’d come and pick me up from school."
Seems like school and microwave minutes are longer than regular minutes.
Johnny: Teacher, would you punish me for something I didn’t do? Teacher: Of course not. Johnny: Good, because I didn’t do my homework.
Q: What is the difference between an ISIS boot camp and a local school? A: How should I know? I just fly the drones.
What is the longest word in the English language? Smiles: there is a mile between the first and last letters!
After twelve years of carrying books to school, you're well prepared for a career in backpacking.
Teacher: "Don't forget to check the Internet if you have trouble with your homework questions." Pupil: "It's not the questions I have trouble with, it's the answers."
A mother noticed her little dauther praying. "Please, God," the little girl kept saying. "Bless my father and my mother and make Melaka the capital city of Malaysia." "Why did you make such as strange request?" the mother asked. "Beacause that's what I wrote in my Geography test this morning!"