The best school jokes

Johnny: Teacher, would you punish me for something I didn’t do? Teacher: Of course not. Johnny: Good, because I didn’t do my homework.
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has 68.12 % from 92 votes. More jokes about: school
Q: What is the difference between an ISIS boot camp and a local school? A: How should I know? I just fly the drones.
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has 68.03 % from 141 votes. More jokes about: air force, school, terrorist, war
Two college roommates are about to go to bed. The guy in the top bunk has his girlfriend sleeping over. To try and keep quiet, they devise a code. His girlfriend will say "tomato" if she wants him to go slower and "lettuce" for him to go faster. As they begin to have sex, the girl starts to moan, "Lettuce, lettuce, tomato, tomato!" The roommate on the bottom bunk wakes up the next morning and says, "Stop making sandwiches at night. You got mayonnaise in my eye!"
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has 68.01 % from 44 votes. More jokes about: school
Today in lesson Little Jonny went to the back of the room and Miss McRacen went "Not in the back." Jonny: "That's what she said." Miss: "Get out!" Jonny "She said that too."
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has 67.91 % from 102 votes. More jokes about: communication, dirty, little Johnny, school, sex
The art teacher instructed her students to do a self portrait. When Andrew handed his picture in, the teacher took one look at it and said, "But, Andrew,this isn’t you." "That’s right," replied Andrew. "It’s a self portrait of someone else."
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has 67.85 % from 55 votes. More jokes about: school
A linguistics professor was lecturing to his class one day. "In English," he said, "A double negative forms a positive. In some languages, though, such as Russian, a double negative is still a negative. However, there is no language wherein a double positive can form a negative." A voice from the back of the room piped up, "Yeah, right."
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has 67.85 % from 55 votes. More jokes about: school
Get bad marks, relatives will insult you. Get good marks, friends will insult you.
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has 67.68 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: family, friendship, insulting, school
A college economics professor could not help but notice that one of his students was late to class for the third time that week. Before class ended he went around the room asking students some questions about the day's lecture. Of course, he made sure to pick on his student. "And who is known as the father of modern economics?" the professor asked. "I don't know," the student said. "Perhaps if you came to class on time, Mr. Wilson, you would know," said the professor. "That's not true," the student replied. "I never pay attention anyway!"
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has 67.46 % from 90 votes. More jokes about: college, school, student, teacher
I told my crush at school, "If you love me, come wearing red tomorrow." The next day she came in wearing black! When she dropped her pen and she bent over to pick it up, I got a look up her skirt at her red thong. Moral of the story: she really loves me underneath it all.
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has 67.31 % from 100 votes. More jokes about: dirty, school
Q: A brunette, a blonde and a redhead are all in fifth grade. Who has the biggest tits? A: The blonde, because she's 18.
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has 66.93 % from 85 votes. More jokes about: age, blonde, ginger, school
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