The best school jokes

The answer to the problem was “log(1+x)”. A student copied the answer from the student next to him, but didn’t want to make it obvious that he was cheating, so he changed the answer slightly, to “timber(1+x).”
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has 68.26 % from 52 votes. More jokes about: school
The headmistress at a girls' prep school in the old South (circa 1959) calls down to the army base and speaks with one of the officers: "We're having a social here at school and I was wondering if you could send some of your nice young men to attend." "Why of course," the Lieutenant answers. "Just one thing," says the lady. "Of course you'll make sure there aren't any Jews there." "Why of course," the Lieutenant answers. On the day of the dance, a bus pulls up from the base. Out comes a platoon of black GIs. The schoolmistress is quite distressed. "Why, why, there must be some mistake," she says to a burly black Master Sergeant. "Why heck no, ma'am," he replies. "Lt. Goldberg NEVER makes a mistake!"
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has 68.19 % from 85 votes. More jokes about: jewish, military, school, student, time
Johnny: Teacher, would you punish me for something I didn’t do? Teacher: Of course not. Johnny: Good, because I didn’t do my homework.
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has 68.12 % from 92 votes. More jokes about: school
Two college roommates are about to go to bed. The guy in the top bunk has his girlfriend sleeping over. To try and keep quiet, they devise a code. His girlfriend will say "tomato" if she wants him to go slower and "lettuce" for him to go faster. As they begin to have sex, the girl starts to moan, "Lettuce, lettuce, tomato, tomato!" The roommate on the bottom bunk wakes up the next morning and says, "Stop making sandwiches at night. You got mayonnaise in my eye!"
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has 68.01 % from 44 votes. More jokes about: school
The art teacher instructed her students to do a self portrait. When Andrew handed his picture in, the teacher took one look at it and said, "But, Andrew,this isn’t you." "That’s right," replied Andrew. "It’s a self portrait of someone else."
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has 67.85 % from 55 votes. More jokes about: school
Get bad marks, relatives will insult you. Get good marks, friends will insult you.
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has 67.68 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: family, friendship, insulting, school
Q: What is the difference between an ISIS boot camp and a local school? A: How should I know? I just fly the drones.
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has 67.59 % from 139 votes. More jokes about: air force, school, terrorist, war
A college economics professor could not help but notice that one of his students was late to class for the third time that week. Before class ended he went around the room asking students some questions about the day's lecture. Of course, he made sure to pick on his student. "And who is known as the father of modern economics?" the professor asked. "I don't know," the student said. "Perhaps if you came to class on time, Mr. Wilson, you would know," said the professor. "That's not true," the student replied. "I never pay attention anyway!"
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has 67.46 % from 90 votes. More jokes about: college, school, student, teacher
Q: A brunette, a blonde and a redhead are all in fifth grade. Who has the biggest tits? A: The blonde, because she's 18.
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has 67.10 % from 82 votes. More jokes about: age, blonde, ginger, school
I told my crush at school, "If you love me, come wearing red tomorrow." The next day she came in wearing black! When she dropped her pen and she bent over to pick it up, I got a look up her skirt at her red thong. Moral of the story: she really loves me underneath it all.
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has 66.68 % from 98 votes. More jokes about: dirty, school
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