The best school jokes

Chuck Norris didn't go to school to learn, he went to teach.
Vote: has 64.78 % from 14 votes. Send joke:

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Yo mama so fat when she walked out in August in her yellow sun dress and the kids said mommy its time for school.
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More jokes about: fat, insulting, kids, school, Yo mama
A high school English teacher reminds her class of tomorrow's final exam. "Now class, I won't tolerate any excuses for you not being there tomorrow. I might consider a nuclear attack or a serious personal injury or illness, or a death in your immediate family - but that's it, no other excuses whatsoever!" A smart-ass guy in the back of the room raises his hand and asks, "What would you say if tomorrow I said I was suffering from complete and utter sexual exhaustion?" The entire class does its best to stifle their laughter and snickering. When silence is restored, the teacher smiles sympathetically at the student, shakes her head, and sweetly says, "Well, I guess you'd have to write the exam with your other hand."
Vote: has 64.28 % from 25 votes. Send joke:

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The pretty teacher was concerned with one of her eleven-year-old students. Taking him aside after class one day, she asked, "George, why has your school work been so poor lately?" "I’m in love," the boy replied. Holding back an urge to smile, she asked, "With whom?" "With you," he said. "But George," she said gently, "don’t you see how silly that is? It’s true that I would like a husband of my own someday. But I don’t want a child." "Oh, don’t worry," the boy said reassuringly, "I’ll use a rubber."
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More jokes about: age, kids, love, school, teacher
TEACHER : What is further away, Australia or the Moon? Pupil : Australia, you can see the Moon at night.
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When Chuck Norris was in middle school, his English teacher assigned an essay: "What is courage?" He received an A+ for turning in a blank page with only his name at the top.
Vote: has 63.93 % from 55 votes. Send joke:

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I told my crush at school, "If you love me, come wearing red tomorrow." The next day she came in wearing black! When she dropped her pen and she bent over to pick it up, I got a look up her skirt at her red thong. Moral of the story: she really loves me underneath it all.
Vote: has 63.68 % from 80 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dirty, school
Teacher: Be sure that you go straight home Student: I can't, I live just round the corner!
Vote: has 63.66 % from 28 votes. Send joke:

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Q: Why do schools in West Virginia only have Drivers Ed two days a week? A: Because they need their cars for Sex Ed the other three days a week!
Vote: has 63.35 % from 73 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: car, school, sex
Four high school boys afflicted with spring fever skipped morning classes. After lunch they reported to the teacher that they had a flat tire. Much to their relief she smiled and said, "Well, you missed a test today so take seats apart from one another and take out a piece of paper." Still smiling, she waited for them to sit down. Then she said, "First Question was which tire was flat?"
Vote: has 63.22 % from 31 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: car, school, teacher