The best school jokes

It doesn't matter if you win by an inch or a mile. Winning's winning. (The Fast and The Furious) It doesn't matter if you pass the semester by getting 40% or 95%. Passing's passing.
Vote: has 62.14 % from 30 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: school
„And, Johnny? How did your school report turn out?" asks mother. „Come on mom, the most important thing is that I'm healthy!"
Vote: has 61.25 % from 26 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: health, little Johnny, school
When you try to change a man, you basically undertake his mother’s role; And she made him eat spinach and study for school...
Vote: has 60.66 % from 41 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: marriage, school
Yo' Mama is so fat, when she wears a yellow raincoat, the kids yell, "Here comes the school bus."
Vote: has 60.56 % from 19 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: fat, kids, school, Yo mama
What's a skunk's favourite game in school? Show and smell.
Vote: has 60.56 % from 19 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, game, school
Little Johnny comes home from his first day of school. His mother asks, "What did you learn in school today?" Little Johnny replies, "Not much. They want me back tomorrow.
Vote: has 60.31 % from 126 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: little Johnny, school
Malcolm: Miss Wilson can I go to the loo? Miss Wilson: In two minutes Malcolm. Do your alphabet first. Malcolm: Ok Miss Wilson. abcdefghijklmnoqrstuvwxyz. Miss Wilson: Very good, Malcolm, but where's the p? Malcolm: Miss, it's running down my leg!
Vote: has 59.93 % from 25 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: disgusting, school
Little Johnny was at school one day when the teacher asked the kids if they could use the word definitely in a sentence. Well the first little girl raised her hand and said, "Well the trees are definitely green." The teacher said "No not really because the trees turn yellow red and brown in the fall." The next little boy raised his hand and said, "The sky is definitely blue." The teacher said, "No not really because the sky can be all different colors." From the back of the room little Johnny raised his hand and asked, "Do farts have lumps?" The teacher said, "No Johnny of course not, that’s silly." Then Johnny said, "Well then I definitely shit my pants!"
Vote: has 59.80 % from 66 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: fart, kids, little Johnny, school, teacher
Billy was excited about his first day at school. So excited in fact, that only a few minutes after class started, he realized that he desperately needed to go to the bathroom. So Billy raised his hand politely to ask if he could be excused. Of course the teacher said yes, but asked Billy to be quick. Five minutes later Billy returned, looking more desperate and embarrassed. "I can’t find it," he admitted. The teacher sat Billy down and drew him a little diagram to where he should go and asked him if he will be able to find it now. Billy looked at the diagram, said "yes" and went on his way. A short while later he returned to the class room and said to the teacher "I still can’t find it." Frustrated, the teacher asked Tommy, a boy who had been at the school for awhile, to help Billy find the bathroom. So Tommy and Billy left the classroom together and five minutes later they both return and sat down at their seats. The teacher asked Tommy "Well, did you find it?" Tommy was quick with his reply. "Oh sure, he just had his boxer shorts on backwards."
Vote: has 59.19 % from 15 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: kids, school, teacher
Chuck Norris bunked school one day. Till today that day is known as Sunday.
Vote: has 59.19 % from 15 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Chuck Norris, school, time