The best school jokes

A grade school teacher was asking students what their parents did for a living. Timmy stood up and said, "My mom is a doctor!" Sarah stood up and said, "My father is a professor!" Little Johnny stood up and said, "My dad is a piano player in a whorehouse!" The teacher couldn't believe what she's had just heard, so she made a point of calling Little Johnny's father that evening to discuss the situation. Little Johnny's father explained, "Actually, I'm a law attorney, but how am I supposed to explain that to a seven year old kid!"
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has 64.23 % from 32 votes. More jokes about: doctor, lawyer, school, student, teacher
Teacher: Be sure that you go straight home Student: I can't, I live just round the corner!
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has 64.23 % from 32 votes. More jokes about: school, teacher
Dad: "I heard you missed school yesterday." Little Johnny: "Not a bit."
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has 64.10 % from 261 votes. More jokes about: little Johnny, school
Chuck Norris went to school so he could be studied.
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has 63.81 % from 45 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, school
One day the kids in Ms. Evans science class was disagreeing with her. Ms. Evans was talking about evolution. Ms. Evans was and atheist so she didn't believe in God. Then Johnny raised his hand and said, "But I thought God created mankind?" Ms. Evans then replied, "Well can you see God?" "No." "Hear God?" "No." "Feel God?" "No." This went on for quite a while. "Well then God doesn't exist." Then Johnny whispered back to his friend Jimmy, "Can you see Ms. Evan's brain. No, so that must not exist."
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has 63.78 % from 223 votes. More jokes about: atheist, god, insulting, little Johnny, school
Chuck Norris graduated from the School of Hard Knocks with an MBA - Mega Bad Ass.
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has 63.51 % from 38 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, school
Yo mama so dumb,when she got an "F" on her test, she thought it mean Fantastic!
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has 63.51 % from 92 votes. More jokes about: school, stupid, Yo mama
Q: What's the first thing elves learn in school? A: The "elf"-abet!
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has 63.45 % from 51 votes. More jokes about: elf, school
The headmistress at a girls' prep school in the old South (circa 1959) calls down to the army base and speaks with one of the officers: "We're having a social here at school and I was wondering if you could send some of your nice young men to attend." "Why of course," the Lieutenant answers. "Just one thing," says the lady. "Of course you'll make sure there aren't any Jews there." "Why of course," the Lieutenant answers. On the day of the dance, a bus pulls up from the base. Out comes a platoon of black GIs. The schoolmistress is quite distressed. "Why, why, there must be some mistake," she says to a burly black Master Sergeant. "Why heck no, ma'am," he replies. "Lt. Goldberg NEVER makes a mistake!"
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has 63.12 % from 60 votes. More jokes about: jewish, military, school, student, time
Teacher: Why does the statue of liberty stand in New York harbour? Pupil: Because it can’t sit down! An ideal homework excuse Teacher: Where is your homework? Pupil: I lost it fighting this kid who said you weren’t the best teacher in the school Teacher: If 1+1=2 and 2+2=4, what is 4+4? Pupil: That’s not fair! You answer the easy ones and leave us with the hard one!
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has 63.07 % from 44 votes. More jokes about: math, school, teacher
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