What's a moo hoo for grazing school? Grass class.
A teacher asked a student to write 55. Student asked: How? Teacher: Write 5 and beside it another 5! The student wrote 5 and stopped. Teacher: What are you waiting for? Student: I don't know which side to write the other 5!
It had been snowing for hours when an announcement came over the intercom: “Will the students who are parked on University Drive please move their cars so that we may begin plowing. ” Twenty minutes later there was another announcement: “Will the nine hundred students who went to move fourteen cars return to class.”
Luke: Why did the M&M go to school? Stan: I’m stumped. Luke: Because he really wanted to be a Smartie!
In high school, Chuck Norris was voted "Most."
They wanted something long and hard..... I gave them MY HOMEWORK!
Chuck Norris graduated from the School of Hard Knocks with an MBA - Mega Bad Ass.
A grandmother was pushing her little grandchild around Wal- Mart in a buggy. Each time she put something in the basket she would say, "And here’s something for you, Diploma." or "This will make a cute little outfit for you, Diploma." and so on. Eventually a bewildered shopper who’d heard all this finally asked, "Why do you keep calling your grandchild Diploma?" The grandmother replied, "I sent my daughter to the University of Virginia and this is what she came home with!"
Chuck Norris got a perfect SAT score by just putting his name on the paper...
Teacher: “How can you prove the earth is round?” Boy: “I can’t. Besides, I never said it was.”