The best school jokes

The teacher had given the class an assignment. He stressed the importance of this particular assignment, and that no excuses would be accepted except illness or a death in the immediate family. A smart-ass student pipes up: "What about extreme sexual exhaustion, sir?" The class breaks up laughing, and when they settle down the teacher responds with: "Well, I guess you'll have to learn to write with your other hand."
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has 52.68 % from 67 votes. More jokes about: death, family, school, sex, teacher
Teacher: "Alex, stop showing off. Do you think you are the teacher of this class?" Alex: "No, Miss." Teacher: "Then stop acting like a fool!"
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has 52.68 % from 67 votes. More jokes about: school, teacher
Teacher: Daddy, have you ever been to Egypt? Father: No. Why do you ask that? Teacher: Well, where did you get THIS mummy then?
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has 52.50 % from 38 votes. More jokes about: dad, school, teacher
Teacher: "Sam, what is the outside of a tree called?" Sam: "I don't know." Teacher: "Bark, Sam, bark." Sam: "Bow, wow, wow!"
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has 51.67 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: school
A teacher asked a student to write 55. Student asked: How? Teacher: Write 5 and beside it another 5! The student wrote 5 and stopped. Teacher: What are you waiting for? Student: I don't know which side to write the other 5!
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has 51.50 % from 221 votes. More jokes about: math, school, student, stupid, teacher
They wanted something long and hard..... I gave them MY HOMEWORK!
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has 51.13 % from 32 votes. More jokes about: school
A schoolteacher was arrested today at Gatwick Airport as he attempted to board a flight while in possession of a ruler, a protractor, a set square, a slide rule and a calculator. At a morning press conference, the Home Secretary said he believes the man is a member of the notorious Al-gebra movement. He did not identify the man, who has been charged by the police with carrying weapons of maths instruction.
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has 51.13 % from 32 votes. More jokes about: school
Yo mama is so stupid that when a teacher told the class nobody is perfect, he replied, "I want to become nobody!"
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has 51.13 % from 32 votes. More jokes about: communication, school, stupid, teacher, Yo mama
Little Johnny was always late for school. When asked why he said he had to eat his popsicle. Without thinking the teacher told him to eat half his popsicle and save the other half in his pocket. Next day Johnny was on time. The teacher had history class. "What are the people in Asia called", she asked a student. "Asians", said the student. "What are the people in Africa called". "Africans" said the student. Then she asked Johnny, "What are the people in Europe called", but Johnny didn't know so the girl behind him whispered, "Euro pean." To that Johnny said, "No I'm not, that's just my popsicle."
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has 50.76 % from 55 votes. More jokes about: ethnic, food, little Johnny, school, teacher
Teacher: “How can you prove the earth is round?” Boy: “I can’t. Besides, I never said it was.”
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has 50.70 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: school
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