Q: How do you know when an Asian robs your house? A: Your technology has been upgraded, your homework is finished, but he's still trying to back out of your drive way.
The teacher had given the class an assignment. He stressed the importance of this particular assignment, and that no excuses would be accepted except illness or a death in the immediate family. A smart-ass student pipes up: "What about extreme sexual exhaustion, sir?" The class breaks up laughing, and when they settle down the teacher responds with: "Well, I guess you'll have to learn to write with your other hand."
Teacher: "Alex, stop showing off. Do you think you are the teacher of this class?" Alex: "No, Miss." Teacher: "Then stop acting like a fool!"
Teacher: Daddy, have you ever been to Egypt? Father: No. Why do you ask that? Teacher: Well, where did you get THIS mummy then?
Little Johnny was always late for school. When asked why he said he had to eat his popsicle. Without thinking the teacher told him to eat half his popsicle and save the other half in his pocket. Next day Johnny was on time. The teacher had history class. "What are the people in Asia called", she asked a student. "Asians", said the student. "What are the people in Africa called". "Africans" said the student. Then she asked Johnny, "What are the people in Europe called", but Johnny didn't know so the girl behind him whispered, "Euro pean." To that Johnny said, "No I'm not, that's just my popsicle."
They wanted something long and hard..... I gave them MY HOMEWORK!
A schoolteacher was arrested today at Gatwick Airport as he attempted to board a flight while in possession of a ruler, a protractor, a set square, a slide rule and a calculator. At a morning press conference, the Home Secretary said he believes the man is a member of the notorious Al-gebra movement. He did not identify the man, who has been charged by the police with carrying weapons of maths instruction.
Yo mama is so stupid that when a teacher told the class nobody is perfect, he replied, "I want to become nobody!"
What did the tampon say to the other tampon in school? I'll see you next period.
Teacher: “How can you prove the earth is round?” Boy: “I can’t. Besides, I never said it was.”