The best school jokes

Mother: Come on Pete you have to get out of bed or you'll be late for the college. Peter: O mum do I have to, all the teachers hate me, and all the students hate me too. Mother: Yes you do. Peter: Give me a good reason Mother: You're 52 and you are the Principal!
Vote: has 52.41 % from 33 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: age, college, school
A first grade teacher explains to her class that she is a Colorado Avalanche fan. She asks her students to raise their hands if they are Avalanche fans too. Not really knowing what an Avalanche fan is, but wanting to be liked by their teacher, their hands fly into the air. There is, however, one exception. A little girl has not gone along with the crowd. The teacher asks her why she has decided to be different. "Because I'm not an Avalanche fan," she retorts. "Then," asks her teacher, "What are you?" "I'm a proud Detroit Red Wings Fan," boasts the little girl. The teacher is a little perturbed now, her face slightly red. She asks the little girl why she is a Wings fan. "Well, my Dad and Mom are Wings fans, so I'm a Wings fan too," she responds. The teacher is now angry. "That’s no reason," she says loudly. "What if your Mom was a moron and your Dad was an idiot. What would you be then?" "Oh," says the little girl. "Well, then I'd be an Avalanche fan."
Vote: has 52.38 % from 28 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: dad, school, sport, stupid, teacher
She is so blonde, she studied for a blood test.
Vote: has 51.61 % from 25 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: blonde, school
Little Johnny returns from school and says: "Mam, in school we write dirty swear-words so often!" "But I hope you are not writing them, my son." "No, I'm dictating them!"
Vote: has 51.61 % from 25 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: family, little Johnny, school
The teacher had given the class an assignment. He stressed the importance of this particular assignment, and that no excuses would be accepted except illness or a death in the immediate family. A smart-ass student pipes up: "What about extreme sexual exhaustion, sir?" The class breaks up laughing, and when they settle down the teacher responds with: "Well, I guess you'll have to learn to write with your other hand."
Vote: has 51.58 % from 63 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: death, family, school, sex, teacher
What kind of food do maths teachers eat? Square meals!
Vote: has 51.37 % from 65 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: school
A schoolteacher was arrested today at Gatwick Airport as he attempted to board a flight while in possession of a ruler, a protractor, a set square, a slide rule and a calculator. At a morning press conference, the Home Secretary said he believes the man is a member of the notorious Al-gebra movement. He did not identify the man, who has been charged by the police with carrying weapons of maths instruction.
Vote: has 51.13 % from 32 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: school
Teacher: "Sam, what is the outside of a tree called?" Sam: "I don't know." Teacher: "Bark, Sam, bark." Sam: "Bow, wow, wow!"
Vote: has 50.70 % from 17 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: school
You are so old, you sat next to Jesus in school.
Vote: has 50.70 % from 17 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: age, christian, insulting, school
Teacher: “How can you prove the earth is round?” Boy: “I can’t. Besides, I never said it was.”
Vote: has 50.70 % from 22 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: school


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