Q. What's the king of the pencil case? A. The ruler.
Father: "You've got 4 D's and a C on your report." Son: "Maybe I concentrated too much on the one subject..."
Teacher: Can you tell me where Napoleon came from? Pupil: Course I can. Teacher: Very good.
How many students does it take to change a light bulb? None, Light bulb changing isn't in the course notes.
Q: What's long and hard on a blackman? A: The first grade.
A student to his teacher: "I haven't got no pencil." Teacher, correcting him: "You don't have any pencil. He doesn't have any pencils. We don't have any pencils." Student, with a look of astonishment: "Where have all the pencils gone?"
An English professor complained to the pet shop proprietor, “The parrot I purchased uses improper language.” “I’m surprised,” said the owner. “I’ve never taught that bird to swear.” “Oh, it isn’t that,” explained the professor. “But yesterday I heard him split an infinitive.”
Chad: Why do magicians do so well in school? Josh: I don’t know. Why? Chad: They’re good at trick questions.
Teacher: What do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested? Ramu: A teacher.
Boy: “Isn’t the principal a dummy!” Girl: “Say, do you know who I am?” Boy: “No.” Girl: “I’m the principal’s daughter.” Boy: “And do you know who I am?” Girl: “No,” Boy: “Thank goodness!”