The best school jokes

Teacher: “You missed school yesterday, didn’t you?” Boy: “Not a bit!”
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has 47.21 % from 27 votes. More jokes about: school
A gentleman wanders around the campus of a college looking for the library. He approaches a student and asked, “Excuse me, young man. Would you be good enough and tell me where the library is at?” The student, in a very arrogant and belittling tone, replied, “I sorry, sir, but at this school, we are taught never to end a sentence with a preposition!” The gentleman smiled, and in a very apologetic tone replied, “I beg your pardon. Please allow me to rephrase my question. Would you be good enough to tell me where the library is at, asshole?”
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has 47.21 % from 27 votes. More jokes about: school
Here is an explanation of the school homework policy for the average student. Students should not spend more than ninety minutes per night. This time should be budgeted in the following manner if the student desires to achieve moderate to good grades in his/her classes. 15 minutes looking for assignment. 11 minutes calling a friend for the assignment. 23 minutes explaining why the teacher is mean and just does not like children. 8 minutes in the bathroom. 10 minutes getting a snack. 7 minutes checking the TV Guide. 6 minutes telling parents that the teacher never explained the assignment. 10 minutes sitting at the kitchen table waiting for Mom or Dad to do the assignment.
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has 46.90 % from 42 votes. More jokes about: school, student, teacher, technology, time
Why don’t some teachers like to break wind in public? Because they’re private tooters.
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has 46.70 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: school
How many schoolteachers does it take to change a light bulb? None. Anything not completed during the lesson is added to the homework.
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has 46.54 % from 13 votes. More jokes about: school
Fred came home from his first day at school. "Nothing exciting happened", he told his mother, "Except the teacher didn't know how to spell cat so I told her."
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has 46.18 % from 35 votes. More jokes about: cat, school, teacher
“If there are any idiots in the room, will they please stand up” said the sarcastic teacher. After a long silence, one freshman rose to his feet. “Now then, mister, why do you consider yourself an idiot?” enquired the teacher with a sneer. “Well, actually I don’t,” said the student, “but I hate to see you standing up there all by yourself.”
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has 45.82 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: school
An English professor complained to the pet shop proprietor, “The parrot I purchased uses improper language.” “I’m surprised,” said the owner. “I’ve never taught that bird to swear.” “Oh, it isn’t that,” explained the professor. “But yesterday I heard him split an infinitive.”
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has 45.82 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: school
Why did the teacher jump into the lake? Because she wanted to test the waters!
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has 45.58 % from 15 votes. More jokes about: school
How many students does it take to change a light bulb? None, Light bulb changing isn't in the course notes.
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has 45.58 % from 15 votes. More jokes about: school
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