The best school jokes

Luke: Why did the M&M go to school? Stan: I’m stumped. Luke: Because he really wanted to be a Smartie!
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has 47.46 % from 36 votes. More jokes about: school
Why don’t some teachers like to break wind in public? Because they’re private tooters.
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has 47.37 % from 18 votes. More jokes about: school
Teacher: “You missed school yesterday, didn’t you?” Boy: “Not a bit!”
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has 47.21 % from 27 votes. More jokes about: school
A gentleman wanders around the campus of a college looking for the library. He approaches a student and asked, “Excuse me, young man. Would you be good enough and tell me where the library is at?” The student, in a very arrogant and belittling tone, replied, “I sorry, sir, but at this school, we are taught never to end a sentence with a preposition!” The gentleman smiled, and in a very apologetic tone replied, “I beg your pardon. Please allow me to rephrase my question. Would you be good enough to tell me where the library is at, asshole?”
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has 47.21 % from 27 votes. More jokes about: school
Little Johnny took sex ed and every day when little Johnny would come in from school he'll tell his dad for learning sex ed well one day we'll just come in and he said that I got thrown out sex ed Lil Johnny's daddy says how do you get thrown out sex ed Little Johnny said well Dad I got in trouble for eating during class.
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has 47.14 % from 78 votes. More jokes about: dad, food, little Johnny, school, sex
You are so old, you sat next to Jesus in school.
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has 46.70 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: age, christian, insulting, school
How many schoolteachers does it take to change a light bulb? None. Anything not completed during the lesson is added to the homework.
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has 46.54 % from 13 votes. More jokes about: school
Fred came home from his first day at school. "Nothing exciting happened", he told his mother, "Except the teacher didn't know how to spell cat so I told her."
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has 46.37 % from 33 votes. More jokes about: cat, school, teacher
An English professor complained to the pet shop proprietor, “The parrot I purchased uses improper language.” “I’m surprised,” said the owner. “I’ve never taught that bird to swear.” “Oh, it isn’t that,” explained the professor. “But yesterday I heard him split an infinitive.”
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has 46.20 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: school
A medical student is driving home on a narrow country road in the middle of the night after his shift in the hospital. The weather is terrible. It's raining cats and dogs. Suddenly a motorbike is screaming by with very high speed. "Jesus Crhist! What an idiot! He will crash if he doesn't slow down!" A few minutes later he spotted in his headlights on the side of the road the torn up motorbike against a big tree. He stopped and quickly jumped out of his car to see in he can give first aid. But it's to late. The biker is already dead. He looked around if there is anyone around. Nobody to see. The student thouhgt "This is the oppertunity to finally obtain a real human eye!" He always carryrna spoon and a glass eye in his pocket for an opperunity like this. He quickly removes the left eye and places the glass eye in the socket. One quick look around and he jumps in his car and races off. The next morning when he wakes up he turned on the tv and watches the news. It said: "Biker found dead on country road with 2 glass eyes."
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has 46.02 % from 37 votes. More jokes about: doctor, hospital, school, time, travel
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