The best school jokes

Father: "You've got 4 D's and a C on your report." Son: "Maybe I concentrated too much on the one subject..."
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has 46.76 % from 44 votes. More jokes about: school
Why don’t some teachers like to break wind in public? Because they’re private tooters.
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has 46.70 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: school
One day, Little Johnny was with his father at home. He asked: "What does "evolution" mean?" His father replied, "Figure it out." Next day, at school, during a math test, a boy raised his hand: "What's 289+308?" The teacher said: "Figure it out." Ten minutes later, Little Johnny looked at the boy and said: "Why don't you write "evolution"? Your teacher already told you!"
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has 46.28 % from 54 votes. More jokes about: dad, little Johnny, math, school, stupid
Johny met his classmate from high school after ten years who was still very beautiful. As he met her, he told her only: "Hi Ann, I am pleased to see you again after so many years." Ann took a look at his pants and said: "I know that you´re pleased."
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has 46.11 % from 60 votes. More jokes about: beauty, dirty, school, sex, time
A medical student is driving home on a narrow country road in the middle of the night after his shift in the hospital. The weather is terrible. It's raining cats and dogs. Suddenly a motorbike is screaming by with very high speed. "Jesus Crhist! What an idiot! He will crash if he doesn't slow down!" A few minutes later he spotted in his headlights on the side of the road the torn up motorbike against a big tree. He stopped and quickly jumped out of his car to see in he can give first aid. But it's to late. The biker is already dead. He looked around if there is anyone around. Nobody to see. The student thouhgt "This is the oppertunity to finally obtain a real human eye!" He always carryrna spoon and a glass eye in his pocket for an opperunity like this. He quickly removes the left eye and places the glass eye in the socket. One quick look around and he jumps in his car and races off. The next morning when he wakes up he turned on the tv and watches the news. It said: "Biker found dead on country road with 2 glass eyes."
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has 45.89 % from 39 votes. More jokes about: doctor, hospital, school, time, travel
Johnny comes home from school and asks his mom what is a "period". His mom says that "A period is when a woman needs to realease her dead egg cells". Johnny asks what color is it. She says it's red. Johnny said "I have one of those but mine is white and it makes babies."
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has 45.88 % from 78 votes. More jokes about: baby, dirty, little Johnny, school, women
“If there are any idiots in the room, will they please stand up” said the sarcastic teacher. After a long silence, one freshman rose to his feet. “Now then, mister, why do you consider yourself an idiot?” enquired the teacher with a sneer. “Well, actually I don’t,” said the student, “but I hate to see you standing up there all by yourself.”
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has 45.82 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: school
An English professor complained to the pet shop proprietor, “The parrot I purchased uses improper language.” “I’m surprised,” said the owner. “I’ve never taught that bird to swear.” “Oh, it isn’t that,” explained the professor. “But yesterday I heard him split an infinitive.”
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has 45.82 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: school
Little Johnny returns from school and says: "Mam, in school we write dirty swear-words so often!" "But I hope you are not writing them, my son." "No, I'm dictating them!"
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has 45.68 % from 43 votes. More jokes about: family, little Johnny, school
How many students does it take to change a light bulb? None, Light bulb changing isn't in the course notes.
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has 45.58 % from 15 votes. More jokes about: school
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