The best school jokes

Chuck Norris bunked school one day. Till today that day is known as Sunday.
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has 54.97 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, school, time
"Well, children," said the cannibal cooking teacher. "What did you make of the new English teacher?" "Burgers, ma'am."
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has 54.97 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: food, school, teacher
Billy and Willy were at Sunday school studying about Noah’s ark. On the way home, Willy asked, “Do you think Noah did much fishing?” “How could he?” said Billy. “He only had two worms”. The teacher is droning away in the classroom when he notices a student sleeping way up in the back row. The teacher shouts to the sleeping student’s neighbor, “Hey wake that student up!” The neighbor yells back, “You put him to sleep, you wake him up!”
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has 54.80 % from 58 votes. More jokes about: school
Yo' Mama is so fat, when she wears a yellow raincoat, the kids yell, "Here comes the school bus."
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has 54.66 % from 27 votes. More jokes about: fat, kids, school, Yo mama
When chuck Norris was in school, he made his PE teacher run laps.
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has 54.59 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, school
Mother: Come on Pete you have to get out of bed or you'll be late for the college. Peter: O mum do I have to, all the teachers hate me, and all the students hate me too. Mother: Yes you do. Peter: Give me a good reason Mother: You're 52 and you are the Principal!
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has 54.13 % from 37 votes. More jokes about: age, college, school
A little girl cuts her hand on the playground and runs crying to the teacher. She asks the teacher for a glass of cider. "Why do you want a glass of cider?" the teacher asks. "To take away the pain," sobs the little girl. "What do you mean?" the teacher asks. "Well," sobs the little girl. "I overheard my big sister say that whenever she has a prick in her hand, she can't wait to get it in cider."
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has 53.62 % from 34 votes. More jokes about: school
"Isn't the principal a dummy!" said a boy to a girl. "Say, do you know who I am?" asked the girl. "No." "I'm the principal's daughter." "And do you know who I am?" asked the boy. "No," she replied. "Thank goodness!"
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has 53.18 % from 26 votes. More jokes about: school
A guy stood over his tee shot for what seemed an eternity, looking up, looking down, measuring the distance, figuring the wind direction and speed... driving his partner nuts. Finally his exasperated partner says, "What the hell is taking so long? Hit the damned ball!" The guy answers, "My wife is up there watching me from the clubhouse. I want to make this a perfect shot." "Give me a break! You don't stand a snowball's chance in hell of hitting her from here."
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has 53.04 % from 31 votes. More jokes about: school, wife
A father went to take his daughter from school. While waiting, he heard her talking with a classmate of hers "I worry so much-..! My dad works 16 hours a day so he can build a dream house for when I grow up. My mom spends her days cooking for me, making deserts and tiding my room so I can have fun. I worry. I’m so worried!" "With that kind of parents you have nothing to worry about," her friend told her. "Yeah, but what if... What if they... What if they... ESCAPE?"
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has 53.03 % from 36 votes. More jokes about: dad, kids, school, work
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