The best school jokes

"Well, children," said the cannibal cooking teacher. "What did you make of the new English teacher?" "Burgers, ma'am."
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has 53.58 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: food, school, teacher
When Chuck Norris was in middle school, his English teacher assigned an essay: "What is courage?" He received an A+ for turning in a blank page with only his name at the top.
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has 53.56 % from 78 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, school
A student to his teacher: "I haven't got no pencil." Teacher, correcting him: "You don't have any pencil. He doesn't have any pencils. We don't have any pencils." Student, with a look of astonishment: "Where have all the pencils gone?"
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has 53.18 % from 26 votes. More jokes about: school, student, teacher
"Isn't the principal a dummy!" said a boy to a girl. "Say, do you know who I am?" asked the girl. "No." "I'm the principal's daughter." "And do you know who I am?" asked the boy. "No," she replied. "Thank goodness!"
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has 53.18 % from 26 votes. More jokes about: school
A father went to take his daughter from school. While waiting, he heard her talking with a classmate of hers "I worry so much-..! My dad works 16 hours a day so he can build a dream house for when I grow up. My mom spends her days cooking for me, making deserts and tiding my room so I can have fun. I worry. I’m so worried!" "With that kind of parents you have nothing to worry about," her friend told her. "Yeah, but what if... What if they... What if they... ESCAPE?"
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has 53.07 % from 41 votes. More jokes about: dad, kids, school, work
It had been snowing for hours when an announcement came over the intercom: “Will the students who are parked on University Drive please move their cars so that we may begin plowing. ” Twenty minutes later there was another announcement: “Will the nine hundred students who went to move fourteen cars return to class.”
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has 52.42 % from 50 votes. More jokes about: car, school, student, weather
Luke: Why did the M&M go to school? Stan: I’m stumped. Luke: Because he really wanted to be a Smartie!
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has 52.42 % from 50 votes. More jokes about: school
A schoolteacher was arrested today at Gatwick Airport as he attempted to board a flight while in possession of a ruler, a protractor, a set square, a slide rule and a calculator. At a morning press conference, the Home Secretary said he believes the man is a member of the notorious Al-gebra movement. He did not identify the man, who has been charged by the police with carrying weapons of maths instruction.
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has 52.41 % from 33 votes. More jokes about: school
Yo' Mama is so fat, when she wears a yellow raincoat, the kids yell, "Here comes the school bus."
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has 52.38 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: fat, kids, school, Yo mama
A teacher asked a student to write 55. Student asked: How? Teacher: Write 5 and beside it another 5! The student wrote 5 and stopped. Teacher: What are you waiting for? Student: I don't know which side to write the other 5!
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has 51.75 % from 231 votes. More jokes about: math, school, student, stupid, teacher
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