The best school jokes

A student to his teacher: "I haven't got no pencil." Teacher, correcting him: "You don't have any pencil. He doesn't have any pencils. We don't have any pencils." Student, with a look of astonishment: "Where have all the pencils gone?"
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An English professor complained to the pet shop proprietor, “The parrot I purchased uses improper language.” “I’m surprised,” said the owner. “I’ve never taught that bird to swear.” “Oh, it isn’t that,” explained the professor. “But yesterday I heard him split an infinitive.”
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Chad: Why do magicians do so well in school? Josh: I don’t know. Why? Chad: They’re good at trick questions.
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Teacher: What do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested? Ramu: A teacher.
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Q: What is long and hard to a blonde? A: Fourth grade.
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The absent-minded teacher paused to chat awhile with one of her students, then asked, "Which way was I going when I stopped to talk to you?" "That way", the student pointed. ''Good,'' said the teacher, ''then I've had my lunch."
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Why don’t some teachers like to break wind in public? Because they’re private tooters.
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Q: What's the worst thing you're likely to find in the school cafeteria? A: The Food!
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It had been snowing for hours when an announcement came over the intercom: “Will the students who are parked on University Drive please move their cars so that we may begin plowing. ” Twenty minutes later there was another announcement: “Will the nine hundred students who went to move fourteen cars return to class.”
Vote: has 44.61 % from 40 votes. Send joke:

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Q:Doctor, Doctor I keep thinking I'm the school bell. A: Take These tablets and if they don't work give me a ring in the morning.
Vote: has 44.24 % from 10 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: doctor, life, school, work