Why don’t some teachers like to break wind in public? Because they’re private tooters.
A college business professor could not help but notice that one of his students was late to class for the third time that week. Before class ended he went around the room asking students some questions about the day's lecture. Of course, he made sure to pick on his tardy pupil. "And who was it that developed the theories behind communism?" the professor asked. "I don't know," the student said. "Perhaps if you came to class on time, Mr. Reebs, you would know," said the professor. "That's not true," the student replied. "I never pay attention anyway!"
What kind of food do maths teachers eat? Square meals!
"Mommy, all the kids at school say I'm a werewolf! Is that true?" "No, of course not. Now shut up and comb your face."
John: Knock, knock. Justin: Who’s there? John: Gladys. Justin: Gladys, who? John: Gladys the weekend—no homework!
Q: How can you tell if a University of Tennessee football player is married? A: There is tobacco spit on both sides of his pickup truck.
How many schoolteachers does it take to change a light bulb? None. Anything not completed during the lesson is added to the homework.
A man stumbles up to the only other patron in a bar and asks if he could buy him a drink. “Why of course”, comes the reply. The first man then asks: “Where are you from?” “I’m from Scotland”, replies the second man. The first man responds: “You don’t say, I’m from Scotland too! Let’s have another round to Scotland.” “Of Course”, replies the second man. Curious, the first man then asks: “Where in Scotland are you from?” “Aberdeen”, comes the reply. “I can’t believe it”, says the first man. “I’m from Aberdeen too! Let’s have another drink to Aberdeen.” “Of course”, replies the second man. Curiosity again strikes and the first man asks: “What school did you go to?” “Saint Andrews”, replies the second man. “I graduated in ’62.” “This is unbelievable!”, the first man says. “I went to Saint Andrews and graduated in ’62, too!” About that time in comes one of the regulars and sits down at the bar. “What’s been going on?”, he asks the bartender “Nothing much,” replies the bartender. “The MacClyde twins are drunk again.”, because there ain’t no way I can pass that test.”anisms.
Why did the teacher jump into the lake? Because she wanted to test the waters!
Q: What's the worst thing you're likely to find in the school cafeteria? A: The Food!