The best school jokes

Q: How can you tell if a University of Tennessee football player is married? A: There is tobacco spit on both sides of his pickup truck.
Vote: has 43.73 % from 25 votes. Send joke:

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How many schoolteachers does it take to change a light bulb? None. Anything not completed during the lesson is added to the homework.
Vote: has 43.21 % from 12 votes. Send joke:

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Why did the teacher jump into the lake? Because she wanted to test the waters!
Vote: has 42.61 % from 14 votes. Send joke:

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A student called her best friend and said that she had some great news. “The teacher told me that we had to do a test today in rain or shine,” she told her. “Why is that great,” her friend asked. “It’s snowing today!”
Vote: has 42.03 % from 18 votes. Send joke:

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A teacher was giving a lesson on the circulation of the blood. Trying to make the matter clearer, he said: “Now, students, if I stood on my head the blood, as you know, would run into it, and I should turn red in the face.” “Yes, sir,” the boys said. “Then why is it that while I am standing upright in the ordinary position the blood doesn’t run into my feet?” A little fellow shouted, “‘It’s because yer feet ain’t empty.”
Vote: has 41.91 % from 20 votes. Send joke:

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This guy was having a problem with mice in his apartment. "Dude," he told a friend, "I've tried everything and those damn mice keep coming back." "I had the same thing man," his friend says. "All you have to do is stuff steel wool in their little holes." "That's it?" the guy asked. "I'll do it tonight if it means getting rid of the damn rodents." About a week later the guy gets a call. "How's it going with the mice, buddy?" "Not so good, dude." "What's the problem?" his friend asks. "To be honest, I'm having a lot of trouble holding their little legs apart."
Vote: has 41.84 % from 22 votes. Send joke:

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Ramu: Dad, can you write in the dark? Father: I think so. What do you want me to write? Ramu: Your name on this report card.
Vote: has 41.83 % from 26 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dad, school
The parents were very disappointed in the grades that their son brought home. “The only consolation I can find in these awful grades,” lamented the father, “is that I know he never cheated during his exams.”
Vote: has 41.82 % from 24 votes. Send joke:

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Teacher: “You missed school yesterday, didn’t you?” Boy: “Not a bit!”
Vote: has 41.82 % from 24 votes. Send joke:

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A gentleman wanders around the campus of a college looking for the library. He approaches a student and asked, “Excuse me, young man. Would you be good enough and tell me where the library is at?” The student, in a very arrogant and belittling tone, replied, “I sorry, sir, but at this school, we are taught never to end a sentence with a preposition!” The gentleman smiled, and in a very apologetic tone replied, “I beg your pardon. Please allow me to rephrase my question. Would you be good enough to tell me where the library is at, asshole?”
Vote: has 41.82 % from 24 votes. Send joke:

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