Here is an explanation of the school homework policy for the average student.
Students should not spend more than ninety minutes per night.
This time should be budgeted in the following manner if the student desires to achieve moderate to good grades in his/her classes.
15 minutes looking for assignment.
11 minutes calling a friend for the assignment.
23 minutes explaining why the teacher is mean and just does not like children.
8 minutes in the bathroom.
10 minutes getting a snack.
7 minutes checking the TV Guide.
6 minutes telling parents that the teacher never explained the assignment.
10 minutes sitting at the kitchen table waiting for Mom or Dad to do the assignment.
Why did the teacher jump into the lake?
Because she wanted to test the waters!
How many students does it take to change a light bulb?
None, Light bulb changing isn't in the course notes.
John: Knock, knock.
Justin: Who’s there?
John: Gladys.
Justin: Gladys, who?
John: Gladys the weekend—no homework!
Q: What do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?
A: A teacher.
Vote:
Teacher: Daniel, I’ve had to send you to the principal every day this week.
What do you have to say for yourself?
Daniel: I’m glad it’s Friday!
Boy: “Isn’t the principal a dummy!”
Girl: “Say, do you know who I am?”
Boy: “No.”
Girl: “I’m the principal’s daughter.”
Boy: “And do you know who I am?”
Girl: “No,”
Boy: “Thank goodness!”
Q: What's long and hard on a blackman?
A: The first grade.
Vote:
The absent-minded teacher paused to chat awhile with one of her students, then asked, "Which way was I going when I stopped to talk to you?"
"That way", the student pointed.
''Good,'' said the teacher, ''then I've had my lunch."
Q: What is long and hard to a blonde?
A: Fourth grade.