The best school jokes

What is the difference between a school teacher and a train? The teacher says spit your gum out and the train says ‘chew chew chew’.
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has 45.52 % from 26 votes. More jokes about: school
Little Johnny took sex ed and every day when little Johnny would come in from school he'll tell his dad for learning sex ed well one day we'll just come in and he said that I got thrown out sex ed Lil Johnny's daddy says how do you get thrown out sex ed Little Johnny said well Dad I got in trouble for eating during class.
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has 45.31 % from 95 votes. More jokes about: dad, food, little Johnny, school, sex
Teacher: Ramu, give me a sentence starting with " I ". Ramu: I is... Teacher: No, Ramu. Always say, "I am." Ramu: All right... "I am the ninth letter of the alphabet."
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has 45.29 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: school
The parents were very disappointed in the grades that their son brought home. “The only consolation I can find in these awful grades,” lamented the father, “is that I know he never cheated during his exams.”
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has 45.29 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: school
Teacher: “You missed school yesterday, didn’t you?” Boy: “Not a bit!”
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has 45.10 % from 30 votes. More jokes about: school
A girl came skipping home from school one day. "Mommy, Mommy," she yelled, "we were counting today, and all the other kids could only count to four, but I counted to 10. See? 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6,7, 8, 9, 10!" "Very good," said her mother. "Is it because I'm blonde, Mommy?" "Yes, it's because you're blonde," her mother replied. The next day, the girl came skipping home from school. "Mommy, Mommy," she yelled, "we were saying the alphabet today, and all the other kids could only say it to D, but I said it to G. See? A, B, C, D, E, F, G!" "Very good," said her mother. "Is it because I'm blonde, Mommy?" "Yes, pumpkin, it's because you're blonde." The next day the girl came skipping home from school. "Mommy, Mommy," she yelled, "we were in gym class today, and when we showered, all the other girls had flat chests, but I have these!" And she lifted her tank top to reveal a pair of 36Cs. "Very good," said her embarrassed mother. "Is it because I'm blonde, mommy?" "No, it's because you're 25."
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has 44.67 % from 38 votes. More jokes about: age, blonde, math, school
Fred came home from his first day at school. "Nothing exciting happened", he told his mother, "Except the teacher didn't know how to spell cat so I told her."
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has 44.67 % from 38 votes. More jokes about: cat, school, teacher
A student called her best friend and said that she had some great news. “The teacher told me that we had to do a test today in rain or shine,” she told her. “Why is that great,” her friend asked. “It’s snowing today!”
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has 44.46 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: school
This guy was having a problem with mice in his apartment. "Dude," he told a friend, "I've tried everything and those damn mice keep coming back." "I had the same thing man," his friend says. "All you have to do is stuff steel wool in their little holes." "That's it?" the guy asked. "I'll do it tonight if it means getting rid of the damn rodents." About a week later the guy gets a call. "How's it going with the mice, buddy?" "Not so good, dude." "What's the problem?" his friend asks. "To be honest, I'm having a lot of trouble holding their little legs apart."
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has 43.73 % from 25 votes. More jokes about: school
"Mommy, all the kids at school say I'm a werewolf! Is that true?" "No, of course not. Now shut up and comb your face."
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has 43.61 % from 27 votes. More jokes about: animal, school
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