Why did the teacher write the lesson on the windows? He wanted to be very clear!
Teacher: You boy, what’s your name? Boy: Mickey Jones. Teacher: We’ll call you Jones here. We don’t use first names. Boy: My dad won’t like that – he takes offence if people take the Mickey out of my name.
Q: What do you get when you mix English class with alcohol? A: Tequila Mockingbird
David: Why did the broom get a poor grade in school? Dan: I don’t know. Why? David: Because it was always sweeping during class!
Why did the teacher put the lights on? Because the class was so dim!
Little Johnny had just returned from his summer break and gone back to school. Three days later his teacher phoned his mother to tell her that he was misbehaving. "Hold on," she said. "I had Johnny with me for the entire summer and I never called you once when he misbehaved."
The English teacher’s husband walked in and caught his wife sleeping with a young co-ed. He said, “Why, Susan, I’m surprised.” She bolted upright, pointed her finger and corrected him, “No. I am surprised. You are astonished.”