Simply by pulling on both ends, Chuck Norris can stretch diamonds back into coal.
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Q: When will scientists cure the common cold?
A: Actually, they already did but Republican pharmacists won't dispense it because they mistook it for birth control.
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Chuck Norris dropped the apple on Isaac Newtons Head.
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The Question Mark was invented after scientists attempted to measure the speed of a Chuck Norris Roundhouse Kick.
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We live in an expanding universe.
All of it is trying to get away from Chuck Norris.
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Wheaties is the breakfast of champions, not for Chuck Norris.
He eats Chucky Charms, which contains diamonds, sulfuric acid, and radioactive uranium.
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Some people break the laws of the state, Chuck Norris breaks the laws of physics.
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Q: What happens when an unstoppable force meets an unmovable object?
A: Chuck Norris is clapping.
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Chuck Norris can make same magnet polarities stick together.
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Yo mama is so fat they thought her butt was a new planet.