Simply by pulling on both ends, Chuck Norris can stretch diamonds back into coal.
Q: When will scientists cure the common cold? A: Actually, they already did but Republican pharmacists won't dispense it because they mistook it for birth control.
Chuck Norris dropped the apple on Isaac Newtons Head.
The Question Mark was invented after scientists attempted to measure the speed of a Chuck Norris Roundhouse Kick.
We live in an expanding universe. All of it is trying to get away from Chuck Norris.
Wheaties is the breakfast of champions, not for Chuck Norris. He eats Chucky Charms, which contains diamonds, sulfuric acid, and radioactive uranium.
Some people break the laws of the state, Chuck Norris breaks the laws of physics.
Q: What happens when an unstoppable force meets an unmovable object? A: Chuck Norris is clapping.
Chuck Norris can make same magnet polarities stick together.
Yo mama is so fat they thought her butt was a new planet.