Valentines Day is the day that the "V" and "D" come together.
Vote:
A man and his wife went to the pharmacy to pick up his prescription for Viagra.
Seeing the $10 per pill price his wife was astonished - but then realized "it's only going to cost us $30 per year."
"Is it rape if it's your wife?"
"I don't think so."
"What a relief!
I thought you'd be mad as hell!"
‘Its been a rough day.
I put on a shirt and a button fell off.
I picked up my briefcase and the handle came off.
I’m afraid to go to the bathroom.’ Rodney Dangerfield
Q: Why was the blonde girl's belly button bruised?
A: Because blonde men are dumb too.
Lost my watch at a party once. Saw a guy stepping on it while sexually harassing a girl.
I walked up to the dude, punched him straight in the nose.
No one does that to a girl, not on my watch.
A husband and wife decide they need to spice up their sex life.
The wife buys a pair of crotchless underwear, puts them on, and goes into the bedroom.
She seductively asks her husband,
"Hey Big Boy, do ya want some of this?"
The husband takes one look at her underwear and replies,
"Hell no! Look what that thing does to underwear!"
What is the smallest hotel in the world?
A p***y - because you gotta leave your bags outside!
The biggest difference between men and women is what comes to mind when the word 'Facial' is used.
A little boy asked his mother:
Mummy, why are you white and I am black?
Don’t even ask me that, when I remember that party..., you are lucky that you don’t bark.