The best sex jokes

‘Its been a rough day. I put on a shirt and a button fell off. I picked up my briefcase and the handle came off. I’m afraid to go to the bathroom.’ Rodney Dangerfield
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has 71.95 % from 337 votes. More jokes about: sex
Reporter: "Excuse me, may I interview you?" Man: "Yes!" Reporter: "Name?" Man: "Abdul Al-Rhazim." Reporter: "Sex?" Man: "Three to five times a week." Reporter: "No no! I mean male or female?" Man: "Yes, male, female... sometimes camel." Reporter: "Holy cow!" Man: "Yes, cow, sheep... animals in general." Reporter: "But isn't that hostile?" Man: "Yes, horse style, dog style, any style." Reporter: "Oh dear!" Man: "No, no deer. Deer run too fast. Hard to catch."
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has 71.81 % from 243 votes. More jokes about: animal, communication, dirty, redneck, sex
The biggest difference between men and women is what comes to mind when the word 'Facial' is used.
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has 71.80 % from 129 votes. More jokes about: sex
Q: What do gay guys have in common with bungee jumpers? A: If the rubber breaks, they're in deep shit!
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has 71.74 % from 80 votes. More jokes about: death, dirty, gay, sex, sport
A man and his wife went to the pharmacy to pick up his prescription for Viagra. Seeing the $10 per pill price his wife was astonished - but then realized "it's only going to cost us $30 per year."
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has 71.64 % from 63 votes. More jokes about: marriage, medical, money, sex, viagra
The lesbians next door bought me a Rolex for my birthday. I think they misunderstood when I said I wanna watch...
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has 71.64 % from 1157 votes. More jokes about: birthday, communication, dirty, lesbian, sex
Men are like... Chocolate Bars. Sweet, smooth, and they usually head right for your hips.
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has 71.63 % from 37 votes. More jokes about: chocolate, food, men, sex
Q: What does it mean if you were born in September? A: That your parents started the new year with a bang!
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has 71.59 % from 108 votes. More jokes about: birthday, dirty, new year, sex, time
Dad shouts: "Stop watching porn, I can hear it in my room!" Son: "Dad.. I'm not watching porn, that is Maria Sharapova playing Tennis!"
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has 71.55 % from 385 votes. More jokes about: sex, sport
A guy walks into a bar with a four-foot crocodile on a leash, following him like a dog. The barman says gruffly: "No pets allowed here!" The guy says, "But this is a trained crocodile. See what it can do!" He sets the crocodile on a table and hits it on both ears. The crocodile opens its jaws wide. The guy unzips his pants, puts his pecker into the crocodile's jaws and hits the crocodile on the ears again. The crocodile closes its jaws leaving just one-inch space, not touching the man's pecker. Everybody in the bar is very impressed. To build upon it, the guy declares: "I give a hundred dollars to anyone who does it!" But everybody is afraid to - understandably, each would rather have an undamaged pecker than a hundred dollars. Finally, a man wearing a pink suit, with an earring in one ear, says in an effeminate voice: "I think I can do it!" Everybody admires him, "What a brave man you are!" The man continues, to the guy: "Just don't hit me so hard on the ears!"
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has 71.53 % from 50 votes. More jokes about: animal, bar, dirty, money, sex
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