The best sex jokes

An old couple returning from florida cross the border. The customs agent ask the man "did you buy anything while in the US. the man answers no. the man's wife asks her husband "what did he say?". the man tells his wife "the agent wants to know if we bought anything". the customs agent asks the man where he is from. the man answers "toronto". the man's wife says "what did he say?" the man tells his wife "he wanted to know where we were from. the agent says to the man " i was in toronto once, i had the worst sex ever in my life in toronto." the man's wife says "what did he say?" the husband tells his wife "he thinks he knows you dear."
Vote: has 67.23 % from 134 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: husband, sex, travel, wife
Some newly-weds arrive to the hotel and the girl very afraid tells her husband: "Honey, I don't know nothing of this, can you help me, please?" I will Honey, starting from this instant, we will call your thing the prison and my thing will we call the prisoner, so... we will put the prisoner in the prison" And they throw the first one. and the guy is laying face up on the bed, but the girl was delighted and tells her husband: "Love, the prisoner is outside the prison!!!" The guy not very delighted tells her: "Lets put him into the prison another time!!" And the second ...but the girl is very sweet-toothed and she tells him: "!! Honey !!!... .The prisoner is out again!!!" The man rises, with the legs like a recently born foal. And they throw the third!!! He is laying on the bed, exhausted and the girl says: "!!! Honey, the prisoner escaped again!!!" And he answers with his last breath: "HEY !, It's not life imprisonment!!
Vote: has 67.18 % from 280 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: husband, life, love, prison, sex
What are the small bumps around women’s nipples? It’s Braille for ‘suck here’.
Vote: has 66.96 % from 163 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: sex
Q: "What is the difference between like and love?" A: "Spit and swallow."
Vote: has 66.92 % from 232 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dirty, love, sex
A lady tells her husband, “My gynecologist said I can’t have sex for two weeks.” He replies, “What did your dentist say?”
Vote: has 66.90 % from 71 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: sex
Why do women close their eyes during sex? They can't stand to see a man have a good time.
Vote: has 66.87 % from 274 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: sex
The wife is back on the warpath again. I suggested that we make a little sex tape ... she was up for it ... until I suggested holding auditions. I just don’t understand why she is so mad!
Vote: has 66.81 % from 112 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: sex
One day, a man was fishing on a dock across from a hotel in the country, when another man came and sat down. By way of conversation, the man asked the other what he was doing there. "I'm on a honeymoon." "Oh. Shouldn't you be having sex with your wife?" "Well, I would be. But she has a yeast infection." "What about oral sex?" "Gingivitis." "Anal sex?" "Diarrhea." "Pardon my question, but why are you with her?" "Well, I like fishing. And she's got worms."
Vote: has 66.77 % from 31 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: disgusting, fish, holiday, sex, wife
What do a gynecologist, and a pizza delivery guy have in common? They both can smell it, but they can't eat it!
Vote: has 66.72 % from 81 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: life, sex
How does a girl from Harlem practice safe sex? She locks the car doors.
Vote: has 66.69 % from 74 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: car, racist, sex