The best sex jokes

"Excuse me," he says to her, "do we know each other?" "Sure," she answers, "one of my children is yours!" The guy confused, thinks and suddenly remembers the only time he cheated his wife. So he asks her: "Were you that stripper invited at a bachelor party at the suburbs last spring and we ended up having wild sex in the kitchen? You had manacled my hands and you cramed a carrot in my a…!" The woman frowned answers: "No, I am your son’s philologist..."
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has 73.03 % from 230 votes. More jokes about: food, kids, sex, wife
A man boarded an airplane and took his seat. As he settled in, he glanced up and saw an unusually beautiful woman boarding the plane. He soon realized she was heading straight toward his seat. Lo and behold, she took the seat right beside his. Eager to strike up a conversation, he blurted out, "Business trip or vacation?" She turned, smiled and said, "Business. I'm going to the Annual Sexual Studies Convention in Chicago". He swallowed hard. Here was the gorgeous woman he had ever seen sitting next to him and she was going to a meeting about sexual studies! Struggling to maintain his composure, he calmly asked, "What's your business role at this convention?" "Lecturer," she responded. "I use my extensive personal experience to share interesting facts about sexuality. "Really," he gulped,"like what?" "Well," she explained, "For instance, Native American Indians are the most passionate. While Jewish men are the most likely to satisfy a woman fully. And in terms of lasting the longest, surprisingly it's the Southern redneck." Suddenly, the woman became a little uncomfortable and blushed. "I'm sorry," she said, "I shouldn't really be discussing this with you. I don't even know your name." "Um, Tonto Goldstein. But my friends call me Bubba."
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has 73.01 % from 62 votes. More jokes about: airplane, communication, redneck, sex, women
Q: What's the difference between driving in the fog and eating pussy? A: At least when you are eating pussy you can see the asshole in front of you.
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has 73.00 % from 426 votes. More jokes about: disgusting, sex
The four words most hated by men during sex? ‘Is it in yet?’
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has 72.89 % from 702 votes. More jokes about: sex
Q: What is the first symptom of AIDS? A: A sharp pain in the ass.
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has 72.84 % from 66 votes. More jokes about: health, medical, sex
Programming is like sex. One mistake and you have to support it for the rest of your life.
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has 72.83 % from 372 votes. More jokes about: IT, life, programmer, sex
A 6 year old boy asks his daddy: Daddy, where did I come from to this life? You were brought by a stork. That's strange, you have such a pretty wife, but nevertheless you're fucking a stork.
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has 72.78 % from 288 votes. More jokes about: sex
What does a Blonde say after multiple orgasms? Way to go team!
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has 72.78 % from 171 votes. More jokes about: sex
What is 6.9? A great thing ruined by a period.
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has 72.72 % from 146 votes. More jokes about: math, sex
Man to friend: ‘I read a survey that said half the men in the UK masturbate in the shower, and the other half sing. Do you know what they sing?’ Friend: ‘No I don’t.’ Man: ‘I thought you wouldn’t.’
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has 72.68 % from 366 votes. More jokes about: sex
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