The best sex jokes

A sexy girl looks at the big beer belly of a man and asks: Is that Carlsberg or Tuborg? There‘s a tap underneath it – why don‘t you taste it yourself?
Vote: has 68.65 % from 321 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: sex
Condoms are not completely safe. A friend of mine was wearing one and he got hit by a bus.
Vote: has 68.64 % from 338 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: sex
They are going to play golf at the business meeting. The guy flies out there a day early. He's got all day in Japan so he decides he wants to get himself a geisha. He goes to a house of ill repute and finds what he's looking for. He takes her in back and starts doing his thing. The girl starts going crazy. She starts yelling, "Machigatta ana! Machigatta ana!" He thinks, "This girl is loving this." Next day in the golf course he hits a hole in one. He doesn't know any Japanese so he yells, "Machigatta ana!" The Japanese guys ask him, "What do you mean wrong hole?"
Vote: has 68.63 % from 29 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dirty, ethnic, golf, sex
Q: What's the difference between a whore and a bitch? A: A whore fucks everybody and a bitch fucks everybody but you.
Vote: has 68.63 % from 29 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dirty, sex, vulgar, women
Robert came home from work one day to find his wife on the front porch with her bags packed. 'Just where the heck do you think you're going!', Asked Robert. 'I'm going to Nairobi', said the wife, 'I just found out I can get 4000 a night for what I give you for free! 'Robert said, 'Wait a minute!', and then ran inside the house only to come back a few minutes later with his suitcases in hand. 'Where the heck are you going?', said the wife. Robert said, 'I want to see how you're gonna live on 8000 a year!'
Vote: has 68.61 % from 64 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: money, sex, travel, wife, work
A young man walks up and sits down at the bar. "What can I get you?" the bartender inquires. "I want 6 shots of Jagermeister," responds the young man. "6 shots?!? Are you celebrating something?" "Yeah, my first blowjob." "Well, in that case, let me give you a 7th on the house." "No offense, sir. But if 6 shots won't get rid of the taste, nothing will."
Vote: has 68.60 % from 41 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: alcohol, bar, bartender, gay, sex
Have you heard about the new "Mint flavored birth control pill" for women that they take immediately before sex? They're called "Predickamints".
Vote: has 68.56 % from 97 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: drug, sex
Advice for office managers: Keep the sexual harassment complaint forms in the bottom drawer. That way, when she goes to get one you'll get a great view of her arse.
Vote: has 68.56 % from 97 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: sex, work
Unexpected sex - is the best thing to wake up, unless you're in prison...
Vote: has 68.37 % from 267 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: sex
A guy is driving his car and finds a friend crying, sitting on the road. He stops. And he asks him: - Hey, What happens to you? - (crying) Look! and he points a crashed car. - Well, don't care and buy another car. - Look inside the car! - Well, don't care and get another blonde, and that's all. - Look inside her mouth!!!
Vote: has 68.35 % from 328 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: blonde, car, money, sex