Dad shouts: "Stop watching porn, I can hear it in my room!"
Son: "Dad.. I'm not watching porn, that is Maria Sharapova playing Tennis!"
Yo mama is so fat whenever I want to make sex I would request her to fart in order to find the address of her ass.
Good girls go to bed at 8 p.m., since they need to be home by 11 p.m.
Dad, what happens if a condom tear?
Look at yourself...
3 Stages of Sex:
1. House Sex - When you are newly married and have sex all over the house, in every room.
2. Bedroom Sex - After you've been married for a while and you just have sex in the bedroom.
3. Hall Sex - After you've been married for many years, and you just pass each other in the hall and say, "F**k you!"
On wedding night, during sex:
Husband: I had a sex with so many callgirls so many time before.
Wife: Thats what I have been thinking since we met that I have seen you somewhere before...
Mom: If a boy touches your boobs say "don't" and if he touches your pussy say "stop"?
Girl: But mom, he touched both so I said "don’t stop"
As an airplane is about to crash, a female passenger jumps up frantically and announces, "If I'm going to die, I want to die feeling like a woman."
She removes all her clothing and asks, "Is there someone on this plane who is man enough to make me feel like a woman?"
A man stands up, removes his shirt and says, "Here, iron this!".
"It's a boy," I shouted, as tears began to roll down my cheeks.
"I can't believe it, it really is a boy."
That's when I swore never to return to Thailand.
What is 6.9?
A great thing ruined by a period.