The best sex jokes

Q: What does it mean if you were born in September? A: That your parents started the new year with a bang!
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has 72.10 % from 106 votes. More jokes about: birthday, dirty, new year, sex, time
The lesbians next door bought me a Rolex for my birthday. I think they misunderstood when I said I wanna watch...
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has 72.10 % from 1083 votes. More jokes about: birthday, communication, dirty, lesbian, sex
If sex is such a natural phenomenon, how come there are so many books on how to do it?
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has 72.05 % from 64 votes. More jokes about: sex
‘Its been a rough day. I put on a shirt and a button fell off. I picked up my briefcase and the handle came off. I’m afraid to go to the bathroom.’ Rodney Dangerfield
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has 71.95 % from 337 votes. More jokes about: sex
Q: What's the speed limit of sex? A: 68. Because at 69 you have to turn around!
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has 71.86 % from 72 votes. More jokes about: dirty, sex
Girl, you should sell hotdogs, because you already know how to make a wiener stand!
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has 71.59 % from 108 votes. More jokes about: communication, dirty, flirt, food, sex
Dad shouts: "Stop watching porn, I can hear it in my room!" Son: "Dad.. I'm not watching porn, that is Maria Sharapova playing Tennis!"
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has 71.48 % from 384 votes. More jokes about: sex, sport
A man and a woman meet in an elevator. "Where are you heading today?" the man asks. "I'm going down to give blood." "How much do you get paid for giving blood?" "About $20." "Wow," says the man, "I'm going up to donate sperm, and the sperm bank pays $100." The woman angrily gets off the elevator. The next day, the man and woman meet in the elevator again. "Fancy meeting you again. Where you off to today?" "Sperm bank," she says with her mouth full.
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has 71.46 % from 151 votes. More jokes about: medical, men, money, sex, women
An old man goes into a pharmacy, asks for two Viagra pills and demands that the pharmacist cut them in half. The pharmacist winks at him, "OK, but do you realize they won't be as effective?" The old man says, "Listen sonny, I'm 80 years old. I don't want them for sex. I need them for getting me hard enough so I don't pee on my shoes."
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has 71.41 % from 79 votes. More jokes about: age, life, old people, sex, viagra
A French monk wrote a manifesto stating that every woman would agree to sell her body for money. The manifesto was read by the Queen of France and she invited the monk for a chat. So, you're stating that every women would agree to sell herself? Yes. Me too? Of course. And how much do you think I would cost? 500 francs. What?! Only 500 francs?! Here you go - you've already started to negotiate.
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has 71.41 % from 228 votes. More jokes about: sex
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