The best sex jokes

Why do women need guys? Vibrators don’t usually pay for drinks.
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has 70.03 % from 121 votes. More jokes about: sex
A cruise ship founders on a reef, and a man just manages to swim some miles and crawl up on a desert island. After recovering from the ordeal, he begins to explore and finds to his great surprise (and pleasure) that the only other survivor of this terrible tragedy is Cindy Crawford. They build a lean-to and find some food and water. After a few weeks, it becomes clear that help is not on the way, so they start to get intimate. The guy is clearly ecstatic for a couple of weeks, but one morning she awakes to find him moping under a tree. "What's the matter?" Cindy says: "Is there anything I can do?" "Well, I am a little shy about asking you," he replies: "But could you take some of that charcoal from the fire and paint a mustache on your face?" "A mustache? Well... I... I suppose so", and she does it. "Now, there's just one other thing. Can I call you Bob... like my friend?" "Bob? Well... if it will make you feel better... all right." "Great!" he cries, looks at her and says: "Bob! You're never gonna believe who I'm fucking!"
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has 70.03 % from 79 votes. More jokes about: desert island, friendship, sex, time, travel
If you're feeling down, I can feel you up.
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has 69.97 % from 132 votes. More jokes about: dirty, flirt, sex
One day, a man was fishing on a dock across from a hotel in the country, when another man came and sat down. By way of conversation, the man asked the other what he was doing there. "I'm on a honeymoon." "Oh. Shouldn't you be having sex with your wife?" "Well, I would be. But she has a yeast infection." "What about oral sex?" "Gingivitis." "Anal sex?" "Diarrhea." "Pardon my question, but why are you with her?" "Well, I like fishing. And she's got worms."
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has 69.89 % from 63 votes. More jokes about: disgusting, fish, holiday, sex, wife
A tight rope Walker is walking a tight rope between two buildings on the 85th floor in new York. At the same time in South Texas is getting a blow job from a 85 year old lady. What are both men thinking? Don't look down.
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has 69.88 % from 47 votes. More jokes about: age, death, dirty, geography, sex
A woman, after giving birth to six babies, upon seeing her husband gets up off the hospital bed, walks over to him shouting "I told you not to go doggy style!"
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has 69.88 % from 47 votes. More jokes about: baby, dirty, life, marriage, sex
Warning ladies! Never trust a man who calls you "SEXY". This is why. When he removes the letter 'Y' it means you're down for "SEX". After sex, he will remove the letter "S" and start calling you his "EX".
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has 69.85 % from 55 votes. More jokes about: men, sex, women
Q: Why was the blonde girl's belly button bruised? A: Because blonde men are dumb too.
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has 69.85 % from 55 votes. More jokes about: blonde, men, sex, stupid, women
What’s a man’s ultimate embarrassment? Walking into a wall with an erection and hurting his nose.
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has 69.85 % from 223 votes. More jokes about: sex
Mothers have Mother's Day and fathers have Father's Day. What do single guys have? Palm Sunday.
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has 69.84 % from 90 votes. More jokes about: Fathers day, sex, single
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