If you're feeling down, I can feel you up.
What are the small bumps around women’s nipples?
It’s Braille for ‘suck here’.
Why do women need guys?
Vibrators don’t usually pay for drinks.
Why are black peoples eyes red after sex?
Pepper spray.
Vote:
One day, a man was fishing on a dock across from a hotel in the country, when another man came and sat down.
By way of conversation, the man asked the other what he was doing there.
"I'm on a honeymoon."
"Oh. Shouldn't you be having sex with your wife?"
"Well, I would be. But she has a yeast infection."
"What about oral sex?"
"Gingivitis."
"Anal sex?"
"Diarrhea."
"Pardon my question, but why are you with her?"
"Well, I like fishing. And she's got worms."
Why do so many women fake orgasm?
Because so many men fake foreplay.
I wish my girlfriend had warned me about the ceiling mirror in her bedroom.
I lay down ready for her, then ran out screaming – I’d looked up and thought I was being attacked by a naked skydiver.
Q: Why was the blonde girl's belly button bruised?
A: Because blonde men are dumb too.
What’s a man’s ultimate embarrassment?
Walking into a wall with an erection and hurting his nose.
Sex isn’t the answer.
Sex is the question.
Yes is the answer.