Mothers have Mother's Day and fathers have Father's Day. What do single guys have? Palm Sunday.
What are the small bumps around women’s nipples? It’s Braille for ‘suck here’.
Why do women need guys? Vibrators don’t usually pay for drinks.
I wish my girlfriend had warned me about the ceiling mirror in her bedroom. I lay down ready for her, then ran out screaming – I’d looked up and thought I was being attacked by a naked skydiver.
Q: Why was the blonde girl's belly button bruised? A: Because blonde men are dumb too.
What’s a man’s ultimate embarrassment? Walking into a wall with an erection and hurting his nose.
Sex isn’t the answer. Sex is the question. Yes is the answer.
If you're feeling down, I can feel you up.
The average speed of ejaculation is 45km/h, which is probably why I was arrested for doing it outside a school.
A sexy girl looks at the big beer belly of a man and asks: Is that Carlsberg or Tuborg? There‘s a tap underneath it – why don‘t you taste it yourself?