The best sex jokes

Yo momma so nasty i had phone sex with her and she gave me an earinfection.
Vote: has 64.21 % from 62 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: phone, sex, Yo mama
My girlfriend has 206 bones in her body. Now 207. Now 206. Now 207. Now 206. Now 207...
Vote: has 64.11 % from 477 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: sex
One day, an old guy gets on a bus. Several minutes later a punk kid with red, green, and orange hair gets on. The kid notices that the old man keeps staring at him. "What you staring at, old man? Ain't you ever done anything wild in your time?" "Yeah. I screwed a parrot once. I was wondering if you were my son?"
Vote: has 64.09 % from 52 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dirty, parrot, sex
A couple have been dating for a few weeks, but the guy has been afraid of making advances because he thinks his penis is on the small side. Finally, he gets up his courage and takes her down lovers’ lane. While they’re kissing, he opens his trouser zip and guides her hand onto his organ. ‘No thanks,’ says the girl. ‘I don’t smoke.’
Vote: has 64.05 % from 106 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: sex
What did Adam say to Eve? ‘Stand back! I don’t know how big this thing gets!’
Vote: has 63.89 % from 71 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: sex
Q: Why do schools in West Virginia only have Drivers Ed two days a week? A: Because they need their cars for Sex Ed the other three days a week!
Vote: has 63.81 % from 74 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: car, school, sex
There were two security guards who worked on opposite shifts, but looked after the same building. Over a period of a year, the night shift security guard noticed that his opposite was putting on weight. So one evening at shift change, the night shift security guard says to the day shift security guard "Hey buddy, you aint half gettin fat". To which the day shift guard replies "Yeah, that's because every time I shag your wife she gives me a chocolate biscuit".
Vote: has 63.81 % from 74 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: chocolate, fat, sex, wife, work
The three words most hated by men during sex: ‘Are you done?’ The three words most hated by women during sex, ‘Honey, I’m home!’
Vote: has 63.81 % from 142 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: sex
One day at the Ricki Lake Show, the topic was ghosts. Before the show, she asks the audience: "Who here has ever sensed the presence of a ghost?" and 5 people raise their hand. Then she asks "Who here has ever seen a ghost?" and 3 people raise their hand. Then she asks "Okay, now who here has ever had sex with a ghost?" and 1 person, an old man raises his hand. So she goes up to this old man and says "what was it like?" and he said "Oh…it was great! Never had any like it before!" and she asked "Really? So the ghost was good?" and the old man said "Ghost? I thought you said goat!"
Vote: has 63.75 % from 175 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, sex
Man to a woman: "Do you know the difference between a blowjob and a cheeseburger is?" Woman: "No." Man: "Lets have lunch sometime…"
Vote: has 63.75 % from 21 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: men, sex, women