The best sex jokes

A sexy girl looks at the big beer belly of a man and asks: Is that Carlsberg or Tuborg? There‘s a tap underneath it – why don‘t you taste it yourself?
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has 69.74 % from 340 votes. More jokes about: sex
Little Johnny's dad was constantly bragging about him to everyone. He was always telling everyone he met how his little Johnny did this, little Johnny did that, and little Johnny was the best kid ever. One day little Johnny's dad was outside leaning on the fence talking to his next door neighbor. As usual it was "little Johnny did this, little Johnny did that, little Johnny's the best kid ever." Just then the school bus pulled up and little Johnny himself got off the bus. His dad was elated. He turned back to the neighbor and said, "There's my little Johnny now! Isn't he the best kid ever? I'll ask him how his day went." So when little Johnny walked by on his way into the house his dad said;  "So little Johnny, how was school today?" "Oh school was great today dad! I had SEX in school today!" Then little Johnny went on into the house. His dad turned to his neighbor and said ever so proudly, "That's my little Johnny, he had SEX in school today! What a kid!" Next day little Johnny's dad was back at the fence again talking to the next door neighbor as the bus pulled up again. As little Johnny was getting off the bus, his dad turned to the neighbor and said "There's my little Johnny, what a boy! Watch this, I'll ask him if he had SEX in school again today!" As little Johnny walked by on his way into the house his dad called out to him "Hey little Johnny, did you have SEX in school again today?" "Oh no dad, my butt's still sore from yesterday!"
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has 69.61 % from 167 votes. More jokes about: kids, little Johnny, school, sex
Why are black peoples eyes red after sex? Pepper spray.
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has 69.59 % from 555 votes. More jokes about: black people, racist, sex
What are the small bumps around women’s nipples? It’s Braille for ‘suck here’.
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has 69.59 % from 185 votes. More jokes about: sex
Men are like... Chocolate Bars. Sweet, smooth, and they usually head right for your hips.
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has 69.55 % from 30 votes. More jokes about: chocolate, food, men, sex
Kissing is a habit Fucking is a game Guys get all the pleasure Girls get all the pain The guy says I love you You believe its true But when your tummy starts to swell, He says 'to hell with you' 10 minutes of pleasure 9 months in pain 3 days in hospital A baby without a name The baby is a bastard The mother is a whore This never wouldn't have happened If the rubber wouldn't have torn
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has 69.51 % from 249 votes. More jokes about: kids, love, poems, sex, vulgar
If your born in September, its pretty safe to assume your parents started out the New Year with a Bang!
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has 69.39 % from 58 votes. More jokes about: birthday, kids, new year, sex
An elderly black man goes to see his doctor for help with his sexual performance issues. The doctor explains that Viagra isn't going to work this time. The man goes back to the doctor a month later for a follow-up. This time he is wearing a new tuxedo, shined shoes, and a top-hat. The doctor is impressed and asks what the occasion is. The old man says, "If I'm gonna be impotent I'm gonna look impotent!"
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has 69.39 % from 58 votes. More jokes about: communication, doctor, old people, sex, viagra
Sex without condoms is magical... A baby appears and father disappears.
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has 69.38 % from 255 votes. More jokes about: sex
Why do women need guys? Vibrators don’t usually pay for drinks.
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has 69.31 % from 118 votes. More jokes about: sex
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