The best sex jokes

Q: What did dick say to rubber? A: "Cover me I'm going in."
Vote: has 68.63 % from 29 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: communication, dirty, sex
If your born in September, its pretty safe to assume your parents started out the New Year with a Bang!
Vote: has 68.60 % from 41 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: birthday, kids, new year, sex
One day a women walks into work in a short skirt. As she’s walking to her desk she gets stopped by a co-worker, who says, “Your hair smells really nice today.” She grimaces and stomps into her manager’s office. She says,”I want to file a sexual harassment complaint!” and then relates what happened. The manager says, “What’s wrong with him complimenting how your hair smells?” Furious, she snarls, “He’s a midget!”
Vote: has 68.56 % from 97 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dirty, sex, women, work
What are the small bumps around women’s nipples? It’s Braille for ‘suck here’.
Vote: has 68.53 % from 175 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: sex
Q: The male sex has two hobbies. What are they? A: His left hand and his right hand.
Vote: has 68.45 % from 16 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: masturbation, men, sex
Why do women need guys? Vibrators don’t usually pay for drinks.
Vote: has 68.44 % from 111 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: sex
Robert came home from work one day to find his wife on the front porch with her bags packed. 'Just where the heck do you think you're going!', Asked Robert. 'I'm going to Nairobi', said the wife, 'I just found out I can get 4000 a night for what I give you for free! 'Robert said, 'Wait a minute!', and then ran inside the house only to come back a few minutes later with his suitcases in hand. 'Where the heck are you going?', said the wife. Robert said, 'I want to see how you're gonna live on 8000 a year!'
Vote: has 68.42 % from 71 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: money, sex, travel, wife, work
This old guy goes into a church in a small town in the hills of Italy and asks the priest to hear his confession. The priest listens and then asks, "Is there anything else?" The old guy says, "During the war, when I was young, a beautiful Germam girl came to my farm after escaping and asked me if I would hide her. I told her I would if she provided me with sexual favors." The priest replies, "Don't worry about it. It was wartime and you both were under a lot of pressure." The old guy says, "Does that mean that I have to tell her that the war is over?"
Vote: has 68.38 % from 56 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: church, life, priest, sex, war
Your best friend has three girlfriends. Their names are Doe, Ray, and Me. All 3 want to do something special so they set up some dates. Three days ago Doe kisses him. Two days ago Ray gives him vaginal sex. Yesterday, who sucks his dick?
Vote: has 68.32 % from 1361 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dating, sex
A very old man went to a church, making this confession: - Father, I am 78 years old, I have been married for 40 years. All these years I had been faithful to my wife, but yesterday I had sex with an 21 year old woman. - When was the last time you made a confession? - I never have, I am Jewish. - Then why are you telling it to me? - I am telling it everybody ...
Vote: has 68.19 % from 228 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: age, church, god, sex, wife