The best sex jokes

Sex without condoms is magical... A baby appears and father disappears.
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has 69.66 % from 261 votes. More jokes about: sex
One day, a man was fishing on a dock across from a hotel in the country, when another man came and sat down. By way of conversation, the man asked the other what he was doing there. "I'm on a honeymoon." "Oh. Shouldn't you be having sex with your wife?" "Well, I would be. But she has a yeast infection." "What about oral sex?" "Gingivitis." "Anal sex?" "Diarrhea." "Pardon my question, but why are you with her?" "Well, I like fishing. And she's got worms."
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has 69.49 % from 66 votes. More jokes about: disgusting, fish, holiday, sex, wife
Condoms are not completely safe. A friend of mine was wearing one and he got hit by a bus.
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has 69.47 % from 365 votes. More jokes about: sex
Are your legs made of Nutella? Because I'd love to spread them!
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has 69.45 % from 85 votes. More jokes about: chocolate, dirty, flirt, food, sex
There's some soldiers in Vietnam. And they've been pinned down in their trench for days. Finally one guy says,"Fuck this I really have to pee guys. Lay down covering fire, i'll run into the bushes. When I'm done I'll give a signal and you can give me covering fire while i run back." So they lay down fire, and he runs off into the jungle. But he's gone for a good half an hour, they're finally convinced that he's been murdered by Charlie when they hear the signal. So they lay down fire and he sprints out of the jungle and leaps back into the trench. So obviously they're pretty confused. They ask "what the hell took you so long man?" The guy says, "well i was just finishing up my business, when I met this beautiful Vietnamese girl, and we just started having sex right there. we did every position imaginable, missionary, doggy style, everything. It was great." One of his buddies asks "Well did you get any head?" He replies "There was no head."
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has 69.45 % from 100 votes. More jokes about: black humor, military, sex
Women need a reason to have sex - men just need a place.
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has 69.44 % from 62 votes. More jokes about: dirty, men, sex, women
Would you take a bullet for the last person you had sex with? Anything for the family.
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has 69.44 % from 62 votes. More jokes about: death, dirty, family, redneck, sex
Valentines Day is the day that the "V" and "D" come together.
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has 69.31 % from 38 votes. More jokes about: dirty, sex, Valentines day
A furniture store keeps calling me. But all I wanted was one night stand.
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has 69.31 % from 38 votes. More jokes about: business, sex
Got my wife a dildo and some shoes for her birthday. If she doesn't like the shoes, she can go fuck herself.
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has 69.29 % from 92 votes. More jokes about: birthday, dirty, masturbation, sex, vulgar
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