The best sex jokes

The average speed of ejaculation is 45km/h, which is probably why I was arrested for doing it outside a school.
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has 69.79 % from 105 votes. More jokes about: dirty, school, sex
There's some soldiers in Vietnam. And they've been pinned down in their trench for days. Finally one guy says,"Fuck this I really have to pee guys. Lay down covering fire, i'll run into the bushes. When I'm done I'll give a signal and you can give me covering fire while i run back." So they lay down fire, and he runs off into the jungle. But he's gone for a good half an hour, they're finally convinced that he's been murdered by Charlie when they hear the signal. So they lay down fire and he sprints out of the jungle and leaps back into the trench. So obviously they're pretty confused. They ask "what the hell took you so long man?" The guy says, "well i was just finishing up my business, when I met this beautiful Vietnamese girl, and we just started having sex right there. we did every position imaginable, missionary, doggy style, everything. It was great." One of his buddies asks "Well did you get any head?" He replies "There was no head."
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has 69.73 % from 101 votes. More jokes about: black humor, military, sex
A sexy girl looks at the big beer belly of a man and asks: Is that Carlsberg or Tuborg? There‘s a tap underneath it – why don‘t you taste it yourself?
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has 69.73 % from 347 votes. More jokes about: sex
Sex without condoms is magical... A baby appears and father disappears.
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has 69.66 % from 261 votes. More jokes about: sex
Condoms are not completely safe. A friend of mine was wearing one and he got hit by a bus.
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has 69.47 % from 365 votes. More jokes about: sex
Women need a reason to have sex - men just need a place.
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has 69.44 % from 62 votes. More jokes about: dirty, men, sex, women
Would you take a bullet for the last person you had sex with? Anything for the family.
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has 69.44 % from 62 votes. More jokes about: death, dirty, family, redneck, sex
Valentines Day is the day that the "V" and "D" come together.
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has 69.31 % from 38 votes. More jokes about: dirty, sex, Valentines day
A furniture store keeps calling me. But all I wanted was one night stand.
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has 69.31 % from 38 votes. More jokes about: business, sex
What do a clitoris, an anniversary, and a toilet have in common? Men always miss them.
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has 69.28 % from 42 votes. More jokes about: anniversary, men, sex
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