The best sex jokes

A tight rope Walker is walking a tight rope between two buildings on the 85th floor in new York. At the same time in South Texas is getting a blow job from a 85 year old lady. What are both men thinking? Don't look down.
Vote:
has 69.28 % from 46 votes. More jokes about: age, death, dirty, geography, sex
The average speed of ejaculation is 45km/h, which is probably why I was arrested for doing it outside a school.
Vote:
has 69.24 % from 103 votes. More jokes about: dirty, school, sex
There's some soldiers in Vietnam. And they've been pinned down in their trench for days. Finally one guy says,"Fuck this I really have to pee guys. Lay down covering fire, i'll run into the bushes. When I'm done I'll give a signal and you can give me covering fire while i run back." So they lay down fire, and he runs off into the jungle. But he's gone for a good half an hour, they're finally convinced that he's been murdered by Charlie when they hear the signal. So they lay down fire and he sprints out of the jungle and leaps back into the trench. So obviously they're pretty confused. They ask "what the hell took you so long man?" The guy says, "well i was just finishing up my business, when I met this beautiful Vietnamese girl, and we just started having sex right there. we did every position imaginable, missionary, doggy style, everything. It was great." One of his buddies asks "Well did you get any head?" He replies "There was no head."
Vote:
has 69.06 % from 95 votes. More jokes about: black humor, military, sex
A very old man went to a church, making this confession: - Father, I am 78 years old, I have been married for 40 years. All these years I had been faithful to my wife, but yesterday I had sex with an 21 year old woman. - When was the last time you made a confession? - I never have, I am Jewish. - Then why are you telling it to me? - I am telling it everybody ...
Vote:
has 69.03 % from 252 votes. More jokes about: age, church, god, sex, wife
Robert came home from work one day to find his wife on the front porch with her bags packed. 'Just where the heck do you think you're going!', Asked Robert. 'I'm going to Nairobi', said the wife, 'I just found out I can get 4000 a night for what I give you for free! 'Robert said, 'Wait a minute!', and then ran inside the house only to come back a few minutes later with his suitcases in hand. 'Where the heck are you going?', said the wife. Robert said, 'I want to see how you're gonna live on 8000 a year!'
Vote:
has 69.02 % from 80 votes. More jokes about: money, sex, travel, wife, work
One day, a man was fishing on a dock across from a hotel in the country, when another man came and sat down. By way of conversation, the man asked the other what he was doing there. "I'm on a honeymoon." "Oh. Shouldn't you be having sex with your wife?" "Well, I would be. But she has a yeast infection." "What about oral sex?" "Gingivitis." "Anal sex?" "Diarrhea." "Pardon my question, but why are you with her?" "Well, I like fishing. And she's got worms."
Vote:
has 68.97 % from 61 votes. More jokes about: disgusting, fish, holiday, sex, wife
Q: Why would a blonde wear green lipstick? A: Because red means Stop.
Vote:
has 68.97 % from 61 votes. More jokes about: beauty, blonde, communication, dirty, sex
Condoms are not completely safe. A friend of mine was wearing one and he got hit by a bus.
Vote:
has 68.93 % from 355 votes. More jokes about: sex
Man: "How do you like your eggs in the morning?" Woman: "Unfertilized."
Vote:
has 68.89 % from 57 votes. More jokes about: food, men, sex, women
Women need a reason to have sex - men just need a place.
Vote:
has 68.89 % from 57 votes. More jokes about: dirty, men, sex, women
<<<35363738
More jokes →
Page 35 of 87.