The best sex jokes

Do you like maths? If so add a bed subtract your clothes divide your legs and we can multiply!
Vote: has 64.05 % from 42 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: flirt, geek, math, sex
Q: Why do women have two holes so close together? A: In case you miss.
Vote: has 63.92 % from 90 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: sex, women
What did the elephant say to the nude man? ‘It’s cute, but can it pick up peanuts?’
Vote: has 63.89 % from 71 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: sex
In year 1272 Arabics invented the condom, using a goat's lower intestine.  In year 1873 the British somewhat reinvented the condom by taking it out of the goat first.
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More jokes about: animal, sex, time
At school one day, the teacher was trying to approach the topic of sex education and asked her students if they'd ever seen anything that was related to sex education on TV. Mary raised her hand and said she had seen a movie about women having babies. "Great," said the teacher, "that's very important." Then Judy raised her hand and told the teacher she had seen a TV show about people getting married. "Well, that has to do with it too," said the teacher. Then Johnny raised his hand and said he had seen a western where some Indians came riding over the hill and John Wayne shot them all. The teacher said, "Well, Johnny, that really doesn't have anything to do with sex education." "Yes it does," said Johnny, " it taught those Indians not to f**k with John Wayne."
Vote: has 63.87 % from 93 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: baby, little Johnny, school, sex, teacher
There were two security guards who worked on opposite shifts, but looked after the same building. Over a period of a year, the night shift security guard noticed that his opposite was putting on weight. So one evening at shift change, the night shift security guard says to the day shift security guard "Hey buddy, you aint half gettin fat". To which the day shift guard replies "Yeah, that's because every time I shag your wife she gives me a chocolate biscuit".
Vote: has 63.81 % from 74 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: chocolate, fat, sex, wife, work
The three words most hated by men during sex: ‘Are you done?’ The three words most hated by women during sex, ‘Honey, I’m home!’
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More jokes about: sex
One day at the Ricki Lake Show, the topic was ghosts. Before the show, she asks the audience: "Who here has ever sensed the presence of a ghost?" and 5 people raise their hand. Then she asks "Who here has ever seen a ghost?" and 3 people raise their hand. Then she asks "Okay, now who here has ever had sex with a ghost?" and 1 person, an old man raises his hand. So she goes up to this old man and says "what was it like?" and he said "Oh…it was great! Never had any like it before!" and she asked "Really? So the ghost was good?" and the old man said "Ghost? I thought you said goat!"
Vote: has 63.75 % from 175 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, sex
What is a man's idea of foreplay? A half hour of begging.
Vote: has 63.75 % from 21 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: men, sex
Two hookers standing on a street corner started discussing business. One of the hookers said, "Gonna be a good night, I smell cock in the air." The other hooker looked at her and said, "Sorry No, I just burped."
Vote: has 63.73 % from 105 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: sex