The best sex jokes

Are your legs made of Nutella? Because I'd love to spread them!
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has 69.29 % from 92 votes. More jokes about: chocolate, dirty, flirt, food, sex
What do a clitoris, an anniversary, and a toilet have in common? Men always miss them.
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has 69.28 % from 42 votes. More jokes about: anniversary, men, sex
Kids in the back seat cause accidents; accidents in the back seat cause kids.
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has 69.06 % from 171 votes. More jokes about: sex
Little Johnny: "Dad why your dick's hairs are black but the hairs of your head are are going to be white?" Dad: "My dear the first one is thinking but the second is enjoying."
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has 69.06 % from 171 votes. More jokes about: dad, dirty, little Johnny, sex
Mary and Jane are talking. Mary declares that she’s finally got pregnant after years of trying. ‘How did you manage it?’ asks Jane. ‘I went to that hypnotherapist on the High Street,’ replies Mary. ‘I got pregnant within two months.’ ‘Oh, my husband and I tried seeing him years ago,’ says Jane. ‘It didn’t work for us.’ ‘Of course it wouldn’t,’ replies Mary. ‘You have to go alone.’
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has 68.99 % from 124 votes. More jokes about: sex
3 Stages of Sex: 1. House Sex - When you are newly married and have sex all over the house, in every room. 2. Bedroom Sex - After you've been married for a while and you just have sex in the bedroom. 3. Hall Sex - After you've been married for many years, and you just pass each other in the hall and say, "F**k you!"
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has 68.97 % from 61 votes. More jokes about: life, marriage, sex
Unexpected sex - is the best thing to wake up, unless you're in prison...
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has 68.78 % from 281 votes. More jokes about: sex
A cruise ship founders on a reef, and a man just manages to swim some miles and crawl up on a desert island. After recovering from the ordeal, he begins to explore and finds to his great surprise (and pleasure) that the only other survivor of this terrible tragedy is Cindy Crawford. They build a lean-to and find some food and water. After a few weeks, it becomes clear that help is not on the way, so they start to get intimate. The guy is clearly ecstatic for a couple of weeks, but one morning she awakes to find him moping under a tree. "What's the matter?" Cindy says: "Is there anything I can do?" "Well, I am a little shy about asking you," he replies: "But could you take some of that charcoal from the fire and paint a mustache on your face?" "A mustache? Well... I... I suppose so", and she does it. "Now, there's just one other thing. Can I call you Bob... like my friend?" "Bob? Well... if it will make you feel better... all right." "Great!" he cries, looks at her and says: "Bob! You're never gonna believe who I'm fucking!"
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has 68.77 % from 83 votes. More jokes about: desert island, friendship, sex, time, travel
Three women were sitting around throwing back a few drinks and talking about their sex lives. Karen said, "I call my husband the dentist because nobody can drill like he does." Joanne giggled and confessed, "I call my husband the miner, because of his incredible shaft." Kathy quietly sipped her whiskey until Joanne finally asked, "Well, what do you call your boyfriend?" Kathy frowned and said, "The postman." Looking puzzeled Joanne asked, "Why the postman?" "Because… he always delivers late and half the time it’s in the wrong box."
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has 68.73 % from 49 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, husband, men, sex, women
Sex is when a guys communication, enters a girls information, to increase the population, for a younger generation, do you get the information... or do you need a demonstration.
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has 68.66 % from 144 votes. More jokes about: communication, men, poems, sex, women
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