The best sex jokes

A very old man went to a church, making this confession: - Father, I am 78 years old, I have been married for 40 years. All these years I had been faithful to my wife, but yesterday I had sex with an 21 year old woman. - When was the last time you made a confession? - I never have, I am Jewish. - Then why are you telling it to me? - I am telling it everybody ...
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More jokes about: age, church, god, sex, wife
Mom: If a boy touches your boobs say "don't" and if he touches your pussy say "stop"? Girl: But mom, he touched both so I said "don’t stop"
Vote: has 68.02 % from 120 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dirty, sex
One morning, while she was making breakfast, the local fitness freak walked up to his wife, pinched her on the bum and said, "You know dear if you firmed this up we could get rid of your girdle." This was a bit over the limit, but she controlled herself and replied with silence. Next morning the man woke his wife with a pinch on the breast. "You know love if you firmed these up we could get rid of your bras." That was too far over the limit. She rolled over and grabbed him by the penis. Maintaining a vice grip, she whispered in his ear, "You know dear if you firmed this up we could get rid of the postman, the pool man, the gardener and your brother."
Vote: has 68.01 % from 44 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: fitness, health, sex, sport, wife
Unexpected sex - is the best thing to wake up, unless you're in prison...
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More jokes about: sex
The wife is back on the warpath again. I suggested that we make a little sex tape ... she was up for it ... until I suggested holding auditions. I just don’t understand why she is so mad!
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More jokes about: sex
I was married to a Gemini she caught me cheating on her with herself.
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More jokes about: marriage, sex
The best thing after an intensive argument is the peace-sex. But I hate when I argue with my father-in-law.
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More jokes about: black humor, dad, gay, sex
Once a blonde wanted to go to her boyfriend's home. Her mom advised her: "My sweet whenever your boy friend wanted to touch your pants tell him there is a hot oven so your hand will burn." Next day her mom asked her daughter: "Had you a good day?" The blonde answered: "It was the best day in my life because when my boyfriend touched my pants I told him: 'There is a hot oven and your hand would damage!' But he urged me that I've one hot dog and I wanna to cook it for several times he put his hot dog in my pants and then he put it in my mouth for confident whether it has been cooked or not."
Vote: has 67.84 % from 66 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: blonde, dirty, relationship, sex, stupid
I'm like Domino's Pizza. If I don't come in 30 minutes, the next one is free.
Vote: has 67.81 % from 11 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: business, flirt, food, money, sex
So I was at the local corner store one night and bought a pack of condoms. I went up to pay for them and the store clerk said would you like a bag? I said No, she's not that ugly. Then the 3 ladies behind me started giggling and I said wait sir, you'd better make that 3 packs.
Vote: has 67.78 % from 36 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: life, sex