The best sex jokes

An old couple decide to get married after years of courting. They sit down to discuss the marriage arrangements and the prospective bridegroom brings up the subject of sex. ‘Oh dear,’ says his aging fiancée. ‘As far as sex goes I’d have to say, infrequently.’ ‘Pardon?’ replies the bridegroom. ‘Was that one word or two?’
Vote: has 63.49 % from 67 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: sex
My girlfriend told me to give her 12 inches and make it hurt! So I Fucked her 3 times and then hit her with a baseball bat.
Vote: has 63.45 % from 98 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: sex
Maths is like s*x... ADD the bed MINUS the clothes DIVIDE the legs and pray you don't MULTIPLY.
Vote: has 63.22 % from 193 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: math, sex
What does a nigger do after sex? 25 years to life.
Vote: has 63.21 % from 57 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: black people, prison, racist, sex, time
Two policemen are walking the beat when one says, ‘When I get home, I’m going straight upstairs and tearing off the wife’s underwear.’ ‘Feelling randy?’ asks the other. ‘No,’ says the first. ‘The elastic is killing me.’
Vote: has 63.19 % from 85 votes. Send joke:

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There are a number of mechanical devices which increase sexual arousal, particularly in women. Chief among these is the Mercedes-Benz 380SL convertible. Steve Martin
Vote: has 63.13 % from 91 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: car, sex, technology
Yo momma so nasty i had phone sex with her and she gave me an earinfection.
Vote: has 63.04 % from 63 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: phone, sex, Yo mama
A tight rope Walker is walking a tight rope between two buildings on the 85th floor in new York. At the same time in South Texas is getting a blow job from a 85 year old lady. What are both men thinking? Don't look down.
Vote: has 63.00 % from 24 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: age, death, dirty, geography, sex
Q: What's the difference between a hooker and a drug dealer? A: A hooker can wash her crack and sell it again.
Vote: has 62.88 % from 153 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: drug, sex
Q: Why did the gay man take two aspirin with his Viagra? A: So sex wouldn't be such a pain in the arse.
Vote: has 62.61 % from 56 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: gay, sex, viagra