An old couple decide to get married after years of courting. They sit down to discuss the marriage arrangements and the prospective bridegroom brings up the subject of sex. ‘Oh dear,’ says his aging fiancée. ‘As far as sex goes I’d have to say, infrequently.’ ‘Pardon?’ replies the bridegroom. ‘Was that one word or two?’
My girlfriend told me to give her 12 inches and make it hurt! So I Fucked her 3 times and then hit her with a baseball bat.
Maths is like s*x... ADD the bed MINUS the clothes DIVIDE the legs and pray you don't MULTIPLY.
What does a nigger do after sex? 25 years to life.
Two policemen are walking the beat when one says, ‘When I get home, I’m going straight upstairs and tearing off the wife’s underwear.’ ‘Feelling randy?’ asks the other. ‘No,’ says the first. ‘The elastic is killing me.’
There are a number of mechanical devices which increase sexual arousal, particularly in women. Chief among these is the Mercedes-Benz 380SL convertible. Steve Martin
Yo momma so nasty i had phone sex with her and she gave me an earinfection.
A tight rope Walker is walking a tight rope between two buildings on the 85th floor in new York. At the same time in South Texas is getting a blow job from a 85 year old lady. What are both men thinking? Don't look down.
Q: What's the difference between a hooker and a drug dealer? A: A hooker can wash her crack and sell it again.
Q: Why did the gay man take two aspirin with his Viagra? A: So sex wouldn't be such a pain in the arse.