So I was at the local corner store one night and bought a pack of condoms. I went up to pay for them and the store clerk said would you like a bag? I said No, she's not that ugly. Then the 3 ladies behind me started giggling and I said wait sir, you'd better make that 3 packs.
There are 10 types of people in the world. Those who understand binary and those who have regular sex.
Have you heard about the new super-sensitive condoms? They hang around after the man leaves and talks to the woman.
A tourist in Sweden is drinking in a bar when an attractive woman sits next to him. ‘Hello,’ he says. ‘Do you speak English?’ ‘Oh I speaking not much English,’ replies the woman. ‘How much?’ asks the man. The woman replies, ‘200 Kroner.’
Q: What do you call a ninety year old man who can still masturbate? A: Miracle Whip.
Yo mama's so fat that, after sex I rolled over twice and was still on the bitch!
What happened when the blonde tried to give her boyfriend a blow-job while he was driving? They both fell off the motorcycle.
Q: Why did dinosaurs have sex under water? A: You try to keep five hundred pounds of pussy wet!
What do you call men who use the pull out method? Fathers.
Scientists have discovered a food that diminishes a woman's sex drive by 95%. It's called a Wedding Cake.