The best sex jokes

A very old man went to a church, making this confession: - Father, I am 78 years old, I have been married for 40 years. All these years I had been faithful to my wife, but yesterday I had sex with an 21 year old woman. - When was the last time you made a confession? - I never have, I am Jewish. - Then why are you telling it to me? - I am telling it everybody ...
Vote:
has 69.03 % from 252 votes. More jokes about: age, church, god, sex, wife
Robert came home from work one day to find his wife on the front porch with her bags packed. 'Just where the heck do you think you're going!', Asked Robert. 'I'm going to Nairobi', said the wife, 'I just found out I can get 4000 a night for what I give you for free! 'Robert said, 'Wait a minute!', and then ran inside the house only to come back a few minutes later with his suitcases in hand. 'Where the heck are you going?', said the wife. Robert said, 'I want to see how you're gonna live on 8000 a year!'
Vote:
has 69.02 % from 80 votes. More jokes about: money, sex, travel, wife, work
Condoms are not completely safe. A friend of mine was wearing one and he got hit by a bus.
Vote:
has 69.01 % from 356 votes. More jokes about: sex
Why do so many women fake orgasm? Because so many men fake foreplay.
Vote:
has 68.80 % from 25 votes. More jokes about: men, sex, women
Unexpected sex - is the best thing to wake up, unless you're in prison...
Vote:
has 68.78 % from 281 votes. More jokes about: sex
Mary and Jane are talking. Mary declares that she’s finally got pregnant after years of trying. ‘How did you manage it?’ asks Jane. ‘I went to that hypnotherapist on the High Street,’ replies Mary. ‘I got pregnant within two months.’ ‘Oh, my husband and I tried seeing him years ago,’ says Jane. ‘It didn’t work for us.’ ‘Of course it wouldn’t,’ replies Mary. ‘You have to go alone.’
Vote:
has 68.76 % from 123 votes. More jokes about: sex
Are your legs made of Nutella? Because I'd love to spread them!
Vote:
has 68.66 % from 79 votes. More jokes about: chocolate, dirty, flirt, food, sex
Fuck me if I'm wrong, but isn't your name Laura?
Vote:
has 68.65 % from 90 votes. More jokes about: dirty, flirt, sex
Have you heard about the new "Mint flavored birth control pill" for women that they take immediately before sex? They're called "Predickamints".
Vote:
has 68.62 % from 126 votes. More jokes about: drug, sex
The was a man named George who got a new job. His fellow employees always met for a round of golf every Saturday. They asked George to meet them at 10:00 Saturday morning. George replied that he would love to meet them, but he may be 10 minutes late. On Saturday morning George was there at exactly 10:00. He golfed right handed and won the round. Next Saturday rolls around, and George says that he will be there, but he may be 10 minutes late again. He shows up right on time, golfs left handed, and wins the round. This continues for the next few weeks, with Geoge always saying that he may be 10 minutes late, and then always winning the round golfing, either left or right handed. The other employees are getting tired of this, and decided to ask him what the deal was. They said, ''George, every Saturday you say you may be ten minutes late. You never are. Then you show up and golf with either right handed or left handed, and always win. What is up with that?'' George replies, ''Well, I am a very superstitious kind of guy. Every Saturday when I wake up, I look over at my wife. If she is sleeping on her left side, I golf left handed. If she is sleeping on her right side, I golf right handed.'' ''Well,'' one of the employees questioned, ''What happens if she is laying on her back?'' George replies, ''Then I am 10 minutes late.''
Vote:
has 68.61 % from 64 votes. More jokes about: sex, sport, time, wife, work
<<<36373839
More jokes →
Page 36 of 87.