The best sex jokes

Advice for office managers: Keep the sexual harassment complaint forms in the bottom drawer. That way, when she goes to get one you'll get a great view of her arse.
Vote:
has 68.03 % from 113 votes. More jokes about: sex, work
You are so selfish! You're going to have that body the rest of your life and I just want it for one night.
Vote:
has 67.94 % from 95 votes. More jokes about: beauty, dirty, flirt, life, sex
An escaped convict broke into a house and tied up a young couple in their bedroom. The husband turned to his wife and whispered, "Honey, this guy hasn't seen action in years. If he wants sex, I think it's best to just go along with it and pretend you like it. Our lives depend on it." "I'm so relieved you feel that way," replies his wife, "because he told me he thinks you're really cute."
Vote:
has 67.91 % from 102 votes. More jokes about: couple, husband, marriage, sex
Kissing is a habit Fucking is a game Guys get all the pleasure Girls get all the pain The guy says I love you You believe its true But when your tummy starts to swell, He says 'to hell with you' 10 minutes of pleasure 9 months in pain 3 days in hospital A baby without a name The baby is a bastard The mother is a whore This never wouldn't have happened If the rubber wouldn't have torn
Vote:
has 67.88 % from 333 votes. More jokes about: kids, love, poems, sex, vulgar
Robinson came home in great excitement and said to his wife, “You’ll never believe it, dear, but I’ve discovered an entirely new position for lovemaking.” “Really,” said Mrs. Robinson, interested at once. “What is it?” “Back to back.” “But that’s crazy. We can’t do anything back to back.” “Yes we can. I’ve persuaded another couple to help out.”
Vote:
has 67.85 % from 55 votes. More jokes about: dirty, love, sex, wife
An old couple returning from florida cross the border. The customs agent ask the man "did you buy anything while in the US. the man answers no. the man's wife asks her husband "what did he say?". the man tells his wife "the agent wants to know if we bought anything". the customs agent asks the man where he is from. the man answers "toronto". the man's wife says "what did he say?" the man tells his wife "he wanted to know where we were from. the agent says to the man " i was in toronto once, i had the worst sex ever in my life in toronto." the man's wife says "what did he say?" the husband tells his wife "he thinks he knows you dear."
Vote:
has 67.85 % from 154 votes. More jokes about: husband, sex, travel, wife
Why do women close their eyes during sex? They can't stand to see a man have a good time.
Vote:
has 67.70 % from 288 votes. More jokes about: sex
A man and woman are lying in bed after a disappointing bout of sex. ‘You’ve got a very small organ,’ says the woman. The man replies, ‘Well I didn’t know I’d be playing in the Albert Hall.’
Vote:
has 67.64 % from 87 votes. More jokes about: sex
The best thing after an intensive argument is the peace-sex. But I hate when I argue with my father-in-law.
Vote:
has 67.62 % from 108 votes. More jokes about: black humor, dad, gay, sex
Q: Why would a blonde wear green lipstick? A: Because red means Stop.
Vote:
has 67.57 % from 69 votes. More jokes about: beauty, blonde, communication, dirty, sex
<<<36373839
More jokes →
Page 36 of 88.