Q: What do gay guys have in common with bungee jumpers? A: If the rubber breaks, they're in deep shit!
Mom: If a boy touches your boobs say "don't" and if he touches your pussy say "stop"? Girl: But mom, he touched both so I said "don’t stop"
Two old friends are having coffee when the first woman says, "I hear that you’ve been telling people that I’m ugly!" "Oh NO! I’ve just been saying that your new hairdo makes you look less attractive." "I also heard that you’ve been calling me fat?" "Oh NO! I just said that the way you wear those stripes makes you look larger than you really are." "I’ve also heard that you’re saying that my husband has a wart on his dick!" "Oh NO! I only said that it feels like he has a wart on his dick!"
A tight rope Walker is walking a tight rope between two buildings on the 85th floor in new York. At the same time in South Texas is getting a blow job from a 85 year old lady. What are both men thinking? Don't look down.
A woman, after giving birth to six babies, upon seeing her husband gets up off the hospital bed, walks over to him shouting "I told you not to go doggy style!"
Q: What does the receptionist at the sperm clinic say when clients are leaving? A: “Thanks for coming!”
I had a visitor one night… he explored my body… licked, sucked, swallowed & had his fill… when satisfied he left… I was hurt… Damn mosquito!!!
Why are black peoples eyes red after sex? Pepper spray.
You know why Chuck Norris is always on top during sex? Because he never fucks up.
"It's a boy," I shouted, as tears began to roll down my cheeks. "I can't believe it, it really is a boy." That's when I swore never to return to Thailand.