The best sex jokes

"I just had sexed in school today, dad! You lied to me! You told me if I have sex before my 16th biurthday, my boyfriend will die." "Oh, he will, sweetheart, he will."
Vote: has 66.43 % from 63 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: age, birthday, dad, kids, sex
What two things in the air can make a woman pregnant? Her feet.
Vote: has 66.41 % from 196 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: sex
Russian President Putin called President George W. Bush with an emergency: "Our largest condom factory has exploded," the Russian President cried. "My people's favorite form of birth control. This is a true disaster!" "Mr. Putin, the American people would be happy to do anything within their power to help you," replied the President. "I do need your help" said Putin. "Could you possibly send 1,000,000 condoms as soon as possible to tide us over?" "Why certainly! I'll get right on it,"said Bush. "Oh, and one more small favor, please?" said Putin. "Yes?" "Could the condoms be red in color and at least 10" long and 4" in diameter?" said Putin. "No problem," replied the President. Mr. Putin hung up and started laughing with his aides about how those stupid Americans will fall for anything. George hung up and called the President of a condom company. "I need a favor, you've got to send 1,000,000 condoms right away over to Russia." "Consider it done," said the president of the condom company. "Great! Now listen, they have to be red in color, 10" long and 4" wide." "Easily done. Anything else?" "Yeah," said the President, "print 'Made in America, size small' on each one!"
Vote: has 66.30 % from 377 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: political, sex
What do a gynecologist, and a pizza delivery guy have in common? They both can smell it, but they can't eat it!
Vote: has 66.18 % from 83 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: life, sex
Having sex is like playing bridge. If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand.
Vote: has 66.17 % from 123 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: sex
What do attorneys use for birth control? Their personalities.
Vote: has 66.10 % from 34 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: kids, lawyer, sex
Q: What do you call Bin Laden when he lost his virginity? A: Osama Bin Laiden.
Vote: has 66.10 % from 34 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: communication, dirty, religious, sex
I went into the bar the other day & the bartender said: "What'ya have?" I said: "Suprise me." He did, He showed me a naked picture of my wife. I said: "Hey, who said you could mess around with my wife?" "Everyone did" he replied..."
Vote: has 66.07 % from 116 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: sex
Q. How do you know when you are getting old? A. When you start having dry dreams and wet farts.
Vote: has 65.97 % from 257 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: age, fart, sex
If sex is such a natural phenomenon, how come there are so many books on how to do it?
Vote: has 65.86 % from 48 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: sex