The best sex jokes

Mom: If a boy touches your boobs say "don't" and if he touches your pussy say "stop"? Girl: But mom, he touched both so I said "don’t stop"
Vote: has 64.79 % from 102 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dirty, sex
Question: If you went to a party and woke up with a condom in your ass would you tell anyone? Answer: No! Response: Wanna go to a party?
Vote: has 64.78 % from 14 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: disgusting, party, sex
What do attorneys use for birth control? Their personalities.
Vote: has 64.76 % from 29 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: kids, lawyer, sex
Q: Why do women have two holes so close together? A: In case you miss.
Vote: has 64.73 % from 89 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: sex, women
My girlfriend has 206 bones in her body. Now 207. Now 206. Now 207. Now 206. Now 207...
Vote: has 64.71 % from 180 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dirty, sex
The woman was in bed with her lover and had just told him how stupid her Irish husband was when the door was thrown open and there stood her husband. He glared at her lover and bellowed, "What are you doing?" "There," said the wife, "didn’t I tell you he was stupid?"
Vote: has 64.59 % from 79 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: husband, sex, stupid, women
A husband and wife are walking down the street when a beautiful young woman blows the husband a kiss. ‘I met her last week,’ explains the husband. ‘Professionally of course.’ The wife replies, ‘Which profession? Yours or hers?’
Vote: has 64.50 % from 82 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: sex
An old lady goes to her doctor and asks for contraceptive tablets, claiming they help her sleep at night. ‘Why would contraceptive pills make you sleep any better than normal?’ asks the doctor. The old lady replies, ‘Because I put them in my grandaughter’s coffee.’
Vote: has 64.37 % from 107 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: sex
Sex is bad Sex is a sin Sins are forgiven So stick it in.
Vote: has 64.23 % from 32 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: poems, religious, sex
Rudolph the well hung reindeer, Had a great enormous cock, All he could ever do with it, was beat it off inside a sock, All of the female reindeer, Had pussies that were just too small, Poor old well hung Rudolph, Could not get any sex at all, Then one horny Christmas eve, Santa came to say, "Rudolph with your cock so strong... Fuck my arsehole all night long!" Then all the reindeer loved him, A few of them were heard to say, "Rudolph the well hung reindeer... You're so lucky Santa's gay"
Vote: has 64.22 % from 119 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, Christmas, dirty, gay, sex