My friend over there really wants your number so he knows where to get a hold of me in the morning.
I wish my girlfriend had warned me about the ceiling mirror in her bedroom. I lay down ready for her, then ran out screaming – I’d looked up and thought I was being attacked by a naked skydiver.
If you're feeling down, I can feel you up.
Sex isn’t the answer. Sex is the question. Yes is the answer.
What’s a man’s ultimate embarrassment? Walking into a wall with an erection and hurting his nose.
What are the small bumps around women’s nipples? It’s Braille for ‘suck here’.
Why do women need guys? Vibrators don’t usually pay for drinks.
Virginity like bubble, one prick all gone.
A sexy girl looks at the big beer belly of a man and asks: Is that Carlsberg or Tuborg? There‘s a tap underneath it – why don‘t you taste it yourself?
One day a priest told the Mother Superior that he was going into town and try to convert some ladies of the evening. Later off he went and drove to a certain part of town known for the ladies of the evening. The first one he approached asked him before he had a chance to say a word she said "heh Father, how about a little head for 10" He was clueless and embarrassed and left quickly. He approached another young woman and again before he could say a word she said "heh Father, how about a little head for 10?" Again he left quickly and returned to the convent. Once back he saw Mother Superior and quietly took him aside and whispered Mother Superior "what's head?" She replied "$10.00 same as in town."