The best sex jokes

Got my wife a dildo and some shoes for her birthday. If she doesn't like the shoes, she can go fuck herself.
has 69.30 % from 50 votes. More jokes about: birthday, dirty, masturbation, sex, vulgar
One day, a man was fishing on a dock across from a hotel in the country, when another man came and sat down. By way of conversation, the man asked the other what he was doing there. "I'm on a honeymoon." "Oh. Shouldn't you be having sex with your wife?" "Well, I would be. But she has a yeast infection." "What about oral sex?" "Gingivitis." "Anal sex?" "Diarrhea." "Pardon my question, but why are you with her?" "Well, I like fishing. And she's got worms."
has 69.28 % from 46 votes. More jokes about: disgusting, fish, holiday, sex, wife
A sexy girl looks at the big beer belly of a man and asks: Is that Carlsberg or Tuborg? There‘s a tap underneath it – why don‘t you taste it yourself?
has 69.25 % from 331 votes. More jokes about: sex
Why do women need guys? Vibrators don’t usually pay for drinks.
has 69.23 % from 114 votes. More jokes about: sex
Sex without condoms is magical... A baby appears and father disappears.
has 69.15 % from 246 votes. More jokes about: sex
Have you heard about the new "Mint flavored birth control pill" for women that they take immediately before sex? They're called "Predickamints".
has 69.06 % from 117 votes. More jokes about: drug, sex
One day a women walks into work in a short skirt. As she’s walking to her desk she gets stopped by a co-worker, who says, “Your hair smells really nice today.” She grimaces and stomps into her manager’s office. She says,”I want to file a sexual harassment complaint!” and then relates what happened. The manager says, “What’s wrong with him complimenting how your hair smells?” Furious, she snarls, “He’s a midget!”
has 68.96 % from 102 votes. More jokes about: dirty, sex, women, work
What is the smallest hotel in the world? A p***y - because you gotta leave your bags outside!
has 68.87 % from 87 votes. More jokes about: dirty, sex
The average speed of ejaculation is 45km/h, which is probably why I was arrested for doing it outside a school.
has 68.87 % from 87 votes. More jokes about: dirty, school, sex
What are the small bumps around women’s nipples? It’s Braille for ‘suck here’.
has 68.87 % from 177 votes. More jokes about: sex
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