Have you heard about the new "Mint flavored birth control pill" for women that they take immediately before sex? They're called "Predickamints".
Mothers have Mother's Day and fathers have Father's Day. What do single guys have? Palm Sunday.
A sexy girl looks at the big beer belly of a man and asks: Is that Carlsberg or Tuborg? There‘s a tap underneath it – why don‘t you taste it yourself?
What are the small bumps around women’s nipples? It’s Braille for ‘suck here’.
Sex without condoms is magical... A baby appears and father disappears.
Chuck Norris lost his virginity before his dad did.
One day, a man was fishing on a dock across from a hotel in the country, when another man came and sat down. By way of conversation, the man asked the other what he was doing there. "I'm on a honeymoon." "Oh. Shouldn't you be having sex with your wife?" "Well, I would be. But she has a yeast infection." "What about oral sex?" "Gingivitis." "Anal sex?" "Diarrhea." "Pardon my question, but why are you with her?" "Well, I like fishing. And she's got worms."
Kamasutra says: If you suck one nipple, the women herself offers the other one. And that was the origin of "buy one get one free"!
What is the smallest hotel in the world? A p***y - because you gotta leave your bags outside!
If your born in September, its pretty safe to assume your parents started out the New Year with a Bang!