Q: What do you call a ninety year old man who can still masturbate? A: Miracle Whip.
Q: How can you tell if your girlfriend really likes you? A: If you stick your hand in her pants and it feels like you're feeding a horse.
Man, to woman, ‘Am I the first man you ever made love to?’ Woman, ‘You might be. Now you come to mention it, your face does look familiar.’
Q: Why did dinosaurs have sex under water? A: You try to keep five hundred pounds of pussy wet!
Which is the most confusing day in America? Father's day! 80% don't know whom to wish. Rest 20% are scared someone will come and wish them.
This little kid is walking up the street with his Daddy. They see two dogs going at it. The little kid says "Hey daddy what are those doggies doing?" The father says "Ahh, they're making a puppy." That night the little kid walks in on his mother & father and daddy's on top driving it home to mama! The little kid says "Hey daddy what were you doing with Mommy?" He says "Oh, were making it a baby." The kid say "Turn her over, I want a puppy!"
Valentines Day is the day that the "V" and "D" come together.
Q: What's the difference between basketball and sex? A: In basketball you dribble before you shoot!
Chuck Norris always has s*x on the bottom. Because he never f*cks up.
Smoke a smoke Not a butt Fuck a virgin Not a slut.