The best sex jokes

If your born in September, its pretty safe to assume your parents started out the New Year with a Bang!
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has 68.61 % from 64 votes. More jokes about: birthday, kids, new year, sex
A furniture store keeps calling me. But all I wanted was one night stand.
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has 68.56 % from 37 votes. More jokes about: business, sex
One day a women walks into work in a short skirt. As she’s walking to her desk she gets stopped by a co-worker, who says, “Your hair smells really nice today.” She grimaces and stomps into her manager’s office. She says,”I want to file a sexual harassment complaint!” and then relates what happened. The manager says, “What’s wrong with him complimenting how your hair smells?” Furious, she snarls, “He’s a midget!”
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has 68.55 % from 115 votes. More jokes about: dirty, sex, women, work
Kissing is a habit Fucking is a game Guys get all the pleasure Girls get all the pain The guy says I love you You believe its true But when your tummy starts to swell, He says 'to hell with you' 10 minutes of pleasure 9 months in pain 3 days in hospital A baby without a name The baby is a bastard The mother is a whore This never wouldn't have happened If the rubber wouldn't have torn
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has 68.54 % from 272 votes. More jokes about: kids, love, poems, sex, vulgar
A doctor asks a patient while examining her: How many sex partners did you have? 5 or 6, don't remember exactly.. Hmm, not that many... Yes, that wasn't the most successful weekend.
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has 68.37 % from 335 votes. More jokes about: sex
A woman was suspicious in the loyalty of her husband for a long time and she decided to make him jealous. "My love, what would you say if I was having sex with your best friend?" "I'd say you're a lesbian!"
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has 68.34 % from 311 votes. More jokes about: husband, lesbian, love, marriage, sex
Man walks over to a lady in a bar and asks "whats your name ?" "Carmen" she replies,... "I like cars and men ! Whats yours ?" The man looks her up and down and sayes "Beerpussy ..."
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has 68.28 % from 78 votes. More jokes about: bar, beer, car, men, sex
Would you take a bullet for the last person you had sex with? Anything for the family.
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has 68.26 % from 52 votes. More jokes about: death, dirty, family, redneck, sex
Q: Why does the easter bunny hide his eggs? A: He doesn't want anyone to know he's f**king chickens.
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has 68.15 % from 159 votes. More jokes about: animal, dirty, easter, sex
After a long day of winter sporting, we headed back to the ski lodge. As it was small, a cramped place to stay, we decided it was most fitting to sleep in the same bed. Myself in the middle and my two friends either side of me. In the middle of the night, the guy on the right woke up and said, "I have had a dream where I was given the best handjob ever!" A few minutes later, the guy on my left woke up and said: "I have had a dream that I was given the best handjob ever!" I replied, "well that's funny... I thought I was skiing."
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has 68.14 % from 48 votes. More jokes about: dirty, friendship, sex, sport, winter
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