The best sex jokes

Q: What do you call a ninety year old man who can still masturbate? A: Miracle Whip.
Vote: has 62.47 % from 119 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: age, masturbation, sex
Q: How can you tell if your girlfriend really likes you? A: If you stick your hand in her pants and it feels like you're feeding a horse.
Vote: has 62.44 % from 40 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, dirty, relationship, sex
Man, to woman, ‘Am I the first man you ever made love to?’ Woman, ‘You might be. Now you come to mention it, your face does look familiar.’
Vote: has 62.37 % from 92 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: sex
Q: Why did dinosaurs have sex under water? A: You try to keep five hundred pounds of pussy wet!
Vote: has 62.36 % from 83 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dinosaur, sex
Which is the most confusing day in America? Father's day! 80% don't know whom to wish. Rest 20% are scared someone will come and wish them.
Vote: has 62.22 % from 20 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: ethnic, Fathers day, kids, sex
This little kid is walking up the street with his Daddy. They see two dogs going at it. The little kid says "Hey daddy what are those doggies doing?" The father says "Ahh, they're making a puppy." That night the little kid walks in on his mother & father and daddy's on top driving it home to mama! The little kid says "Hey daddy what were you doing with Mommy?" He says "Oh, were making it a baby." The kid say "Turn her over, I want a puppy!"
Vote: has 62.22 % from 20 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, family, kids, sex
Valentines Day is the day that the "V" and "D" come together.
Vote: has 62.22 % from 20 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dirty, sex, Valentines day
Q: What's the difference between basketball and sex? A: In basketball you dribble before you shoot!
Vote: has 62.14 % from 30 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dirty, sex, sport
Chuck Norris always has s*x on the bottom. Because he never f*cks up.
Vote: has 62.10 % from 49 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Chuck Norris, sex
Smoke a smoke Not a butt Fuck a virgin Not a slut.
Vote: has 62.04 % from 52 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: poems, sex, vulgar, weed