The best sex jokes

I'm an astronaut and my next mission is to explore Uranus.
Vote:
has 67.15 % from 39 votes. More jokes about: dirty, flirt, sex, work
I went into the bar the other day & the bartender said: "What'ya have?" I said: "Suprise me." He did, He showed me a naked picture of my wife. I said: "Hey, who said you could mess around with my wife?" "Everyone did" he replied..."
Vote:
has 67.13 % from 120 votes. More jokes about: sex
One day, an old guy gets on a bus. Several minutes later a punk kid with red, green, and orange hair gets on. The kid notices that the old man keeps staring at him. "What you staring at, old man? Ain't you ever done anything wild in your time?" "Yeah. I screwed a parrot once. I was wondering if you were my son?"
Vote:
has 67.13 % from 68 votes. More jokes about: dirty, parrot, sex
Q: What is the most confusing day in Harlem? A: Father's Day.
Vote:
has 67.12 % from 448 votes. More jokes about: black people, Fathers day, kids, sex
An old couple returning from florida cross the border. The customs agent ask the man "did you buy anything while in the US. the man answers no. the man's wife asks her husband "what did he say?". the man tells his wife "the agent wants to know if we bought anything". the customs agent asks the man where he is from. the man answers "toronto". the man's wife says "what did he say?" the man tells his wife "he wanted to know where we were from. the agent says to the man " i was in toronto once, i had the worst sex ever in my life in toronto." the man's wife says "what did he say?" the husband tells his wife "he thinks he knows you dear."
Vote:
has 67.11 % from 147 votes. More jokes about: husband, sex, travel, wife
Fuck me if I'm wrong, but isn't your name Laura?
Vote:
has 66.98 % from 57 votes. More jokes about: dirty, flirt, sex
Q: Why is a sheep better than a woman? A: A sheep doesn't care if you fuck her sister.
Vote:
has 66.98 % from 57 votes. More jokes about: animal, dirty, family, sex, women
What do a clitoris, an anniversary, and a toilet have in common? Men always miss them.
Vote:
has 66.96 % from 35 votes. More jokes about: anniversary, men, sex
"I just had sexed in school today, dad! You lied to me! You told me if I have sex before my 16th biurthday, my boyfriend will die." "Oh, he will, sweetheart, he will."
Vote:
has 66.90 % from 78 votes. More jokes about: age, birthday, dad, kids, sex
3 Stages of Sex: 1. House Sex - When you are newly married and have sex all over the house, in every room. 2. Bedroom Sex - After you've been married for a while and you just have sex in the bedroom. 3. Hall Sex - After you've been married for many years, and you just pass each other in the hall and say, "F**k you!"
Vote:
has 66.88 % from 46 votes. More jokes about: life, marriage, sex
<<<38394041
More jokes →
Page 38 of 84.