Men are like... Chocolate Bars.
Sweet, smooth, and they usually head right for your hips.
What do a gynecologist, and a pizza delivery guy have in common?
They both can smell it, but they can't eat it!
I had a visitor one night… he explored my body… licked, sucked, swallowed & had his fill… when satisfied he left… I was hurt… Damn mosquito!!!
One day, an old guy gets on a bus. Several minutes later a punk kid with red, green, and orange hair gets on.
The kid notices that the old man keeps staring at him.
"What you staring at, old man?
Ain't you ever done anything wild in your time?"
"Yeah. I screwed a parrot once.
I was wondering if you were my son?"
Little Johnny: "Dad why your dick's hairs are black but the hairs of your head are are going to be white?"
Dad: "My dear the first one is thinking but the second is enjoying."
Vote:
When I was young my sister used to play with dolls and I played with soldiers, now we do it the other way round.
What did the elephant say to the nude man?
‘It’s cute, but can it pick up peanuts?’
3 people having sex is a threesome, 2 is a twosome.
So next time someone calls you handsome, don't take it as a compliment!
Vote:
What two things in the air can make a woman pregnant?
Her feet.
Two gay men, Paul and Tom, were making love one night, and had just finished when Paul decided he was going to freshen up in the shower.
Tom was laying there thinking about how wonderful Paul was, when he decided he was going to join him in the shower.
When Tom got into the bathroom, he opened up the shower curtain and the first thing he saw was a large cumshot on the wall.
He wailed to Tom, "I can't believe you! We just finish making love and you come in here and jack-off!"
Paul looks at the wall and says "What are you talkng about? I wasn't jacking-off, I farted!"