The best sex jokes

Kissing is a habit Fucking is a game Guys get all the pleasure Girls get all the pain The guy says I love you You believe its true But when your tummy starts to swell, He says 'to hell with you' 10 minutes of pleasure 9 months in pain 3 days in hospital A baby without a name The baby is a bastard The mother is a whore This never wouldn't have happened If the rubber wouldn't have torn
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has 68.28 % from 307 votes. More jokes about: kids, love, poems, sex, vulgar
Man walks over to a lady in a bar and asks "whats your name ?" "Carmen" she replies,... "I like cars and men ! Whats yours ?" The man looks her up and down and sayes "Beerpussy ..."
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has 68.28 % from 78 votes. More jokes about: bar, beer, car, men, sex
The best thing after an intensive argument is the peace-sex. But I hate when I argue with my father-in-law.
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has 68.20 % from 103 votes. More jokes about: black humor, dad, gay, sex
Q: Why does the easter bunny hide his eggs? A: He doesn't want anyone to know he's f**king chickens.
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has 68.18 % from 173 votes. More jokes about: animal, dirty, easter, sex
A guy is driving his car and finds a friend crying, sitting on the road. He stops. And he asks him: - Hey, What happens to you? - (crying) Look! and he points a crashed car. - Well, don't care and buy another car. - Look inside the car! - Well, don't care and get another blonde, and that's all. - Look inside her mouth!!!
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has 68.08 % from 352 votes. More jokes about: blonde, car, money, sex
Q: What type of bees make milk? A: Boo-bees.
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has 68.07 % from 676 votes. More jokes about: animal, food, sex
Q: What is the most confusing day in Harlem? A: Father's Day.
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has 68.05 % from 488 votes. More jokes about: black people, Fathers day, kids, sex
Your best friend has three girlfriends. Their names are Doe, Ray, and Me. All 3 want to do something special so they set up some dates. Three days ago Doe kisses him. Two days ago Ray gives him vaginal sex. Yesterday, who sucks his dick?
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has 68.05 % from 1388 votes. More jokes about: dating, sex
An old lady goes to her doctor and asks for contraceptive tablets, claiming they help her sleep at night. ‘Why would contraceptive pills make you sleep any better than normal?’ asks the doctor. The old lady replies, ‘Because I put them in my grandaughter’s coffee.’
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has 68.02 % from 120 votes. More jokes about: sex
One day a women walks into work in a short skirt. As she’s walking to her desk she gets stopped by a co-worker, who says, “Your hair smells really nice today.” She grimaces and stomps into her manager’s office. She says,”I want to file a sexual harassment complaint!” and then relates what happened. The manager says, “What’s wrong with him complimenting how your hair smells?” Furious, she snarls, “He’s a midget!”
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has 68.02 % from 120 votes. More jokes about: dirty, sex, women, work
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