The best sex jokes

Some newly-weds arrive to the hotel and the girl very afraid tells her husband: "Honey, I don't know nothing of this, can you help me, please?" I will Honey, starting from this instant, we will call your thing the prison and my thing will we call the prisoner, so... we will put the prisoner in the prison" And they throw the first one. and the guy is laying face up on the bed, but the girl was delighted and tells her husband: "Love, the prisoner is outside the prison!!!" The guy not very delighted tells her: "Lets put him into the prison another time!!" And the second ...but the girl is very sweet-toothed and she tells him: "!! Honey !!!... .The prisoner is out again!!!" The man rises, with the legs like a recently born foal. And they throw the third!!! He is laying on the bed, exhausted and the girl says: "!!! Honey, the prisoner escaped again!!!" And he answers with his last breath: "HEY !, It's not life imprisonment!!
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has 67.16 % from 319 votes. More jokes about: husband, life, love, prison, sex
Men are like... Chocolate Bars. Sweet, smooth, and they usually head right for your hips.
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has 67.15 % from 39 votes. More jokes about: chocolate, food, men, sex
What do a gynecologist, and a pizza delivery guy have in common? They both can smell it, but they can't eat it!
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has 67.14 % from 96 votes. More jokes about: life, sex
I had a visitor one night… he explored my body… licked, sucked, swallowed & had his fill… when satisfied he left… I was hurt… Damn mosquito!!!
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has 67.13 % from 120 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, dirty, sex
One day, an old guy gets on a bus. Several minutes later a punk kid with red, green, and orange hair gets on. The kid notices that the old man keeps staring at him. "What you staring at, old man? Ain't you ever done anything wild in your time?" "Yeah. I screwed a parrot once. I was wondering if you were my son?"
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has 67.11 % from 89 votes. More jokes about: dirty, parrot, sex
Little Johnny: "Dad why your dick's hairs are black but the hairs of your head are are going to be white?" Dad: "My dear the first one is thinking but the second is enjoying."
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has 67.09 % from 177 votes. More jokes about: dad, dirty, little Johnny, sex
When I was young my sister used to play with dolls and I played with soldiers, now we do it the other way round.
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has 67.00 % from 133 votes. More jokes about: sex
What did the elephant say to the nude man? ‘It’s cute, but can it pick up peanuts?’
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has 66.90 % from 78 votes. More jokes about: sex
Knock-Knock Who is there? A long penis with a naked head. Come in please we were waiting for you.
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has 66.89 % from 623 votes. More jokes about: dirty, knock-knock, sex
3 people having sex is a threesome, 2 is a twosome. So next time someone calls you handsome, don't take it as a compliment!
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has 66.88 % from 46 votes. More jokes about: communication, sex
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