The best sex jokes

Why do so many women fake orgasm? Because so many men fake foreplay.
Vote:
has 67.68 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: men, sex, women
The woman was in bed with her lover and had just told him how stupid her Irish husband was when the door was thrown open and there stood her husband. He glared at her lover and bellowed, "What are you doing?" "There," said the wife, "didn’t I tell you he was stupid?"
Vote:
has 67.62 % from 94 votes. More jokes about: husband, sex, stupid, women
Knock-Knock Who is there? A long penis with a naked head. Come in please we were waiting for you.
Vote:
has 67.52 % from 408 votes. More jokes about: dirty, knock-knock, sex
Fuck me if I'm wrong, but isn't your name Laura?
Vote:
has 67.51 % from 76 votes. More jokes about: dirty, flirt, sex
Some newly-weds arrive to the hotel and the girl very afraid tells her husband: "Honey, I don't know nothing of this, can you help me, please?" I will Honey, starting from this instant, we will call your thing the prison and my thing will we call the prisoner, so... we will put the prisoner in the prison" And they throw the first one. and the guy is laying face up on the bed, but the girl was delighted and tells her husband: "Love, the prisoner is outside the prison!!!" The guy not very delighted tells her: "Lets put him into the prison another time!!" And the second ...but the girl is very sweet-toothed and she tells him: "!! Honey !!!... .The prisoner is out again!!!" The man rises, with the legs like a recently born foal. And they throw the third!!! He is laying on the bed, exhausted and the girl says: "!!! Honey, the prisoner escaped again!!!" And he answers with his last breath: "HEY !, It's not life imprisonment!!
Vote:
has 67.50 % from 306 votes. More jokes about: husband, life, love, prison, sex
Q: "What is the difference between like and love?" A: "Spit and swallow."
Vote:
has 67.50 % from 253 votes. More jokes about: dirty, love, sex
I just had an argument with a girl I know. She was saying how that it's unfair that if a guy fucks a different girl every week, he's a legend, but if a girl fucks just two guys in a year, she's a slut. So in response, I told her that if a key opens lots of locks, then it's a master key. But if a lock is opened by lots of keys, then it's a shitty lock. That shut her up.
Vote:
has 67.50 % from 58 votes. More jokes about: communication, mean, men, sex, women
I went into the bar the other day & the bartender said: "What'ya have?" I said: "Suprise me." He did, He showed me a naked picture of my wife. I said: "Hey, who said you could mess around with my wife?" "Everyone did" he replied..."
Vote:
has 67.39 % from 121 votes. More jokes about: sex
Why do women close their eyes during sex? They can't stand to see a man have a good time.
Vote:
has 67.38 % from 285 votes. More jokes about: sex
An old couple returning from florida cross the border. The customs agent ask the man "did you buy anything while in the US. the man answers no. the man's wife asks her husband "what did he say?". the man tells his wife "the agent wants to know if we bought anything". the customs agent asks the man where he is from. the man answers "toronto". the man's wife says "what did he say?" the man tells his wife "he wanted to know where we were from. the agent says to the man " i was in toronto once, i had the worst sex ever in my life in toronto." the man's wife says "what did he say?" the husband tells his wife "he thinks he knows you dear."
Vote:
has 67.33 % from 148 votes. More jokes about: husband, sex, travel, wife
<<<38394041
More jokes →
Page 38 of 87.