The best thing after an intensive argument is the peace-sex.
But I hate when I argue with my father-in-law.
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Some newly-weds arrive to the hotel and the girl very afraid tells her husband:
"Honey, I don't know nothing of this, can you help me, please?"
I will Honey, starting from this instant, we will call your thing the prison and my thing will we call the prisoner, so... we will put the prisoner in the prison"
And they throw the first one.
and the guy is laying face up on the bed, but the girl was delighted and tells her husband:
"Love, the prisoner is outside the prison!!!"
The guy not very delighted tells her:
"Lets put him into the prison another time!!"
And the second ...but the girl is very sweet-toothed and she tells him:
"!! Honey !!!... .The prisoner is out again!!!"
The man rises, with the legs like a recently born foal.
And they throw the third!!! He is laying on the bed, exhausted and the girl says:
"!!! Honey, the prisoner escaped again!!!"
And he answers with his last breath:
"HEY !, It's not life imprisonment!!
Men are like... Chocolate Bars.
Sweet, smooth, and they usually head right for your hips.
What do a gynecologist, and a pizza delivery guy have in common?
They both can smell it, but they can't eat it!
I had a visitor one night… he explored my body… licked, sucked, swallowed & had his fill… when satisfied he left… I was hurt… Damn mosquito!!!
One day, an old guy gets on a bus. Several minutes later a punk kid with red, green, and orange hair gets on.
The kid notices that the old man keeps staring at him.
"What you staring at, old man?
Ain't you ever done anything wild in your time?"
"Yeah. I screwed a parrot once.
I was wondering if you were my son?"
Little Johnny: "Dad why your dick's hairs are black but the hairs of your head are are going to be white?"
Dad: "My dear the first one is thinking but the second is enjoying."
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When I was young my sister used to play with dolls and I played with soldiers, now we do it the other way round.
What did the elephant say to the nude man?
‘It’s cute, but can it pick up peanuts?’
3 people having sex is a threesome, 2 is a twosome.
So next time someone calls you handsome, don't take it as a compliment!
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