Chuck Norris can't have children, because his dick wouldn't fit.
What happens when a dwarf runs between a girls legs? He gets a clit around the head and a flap on the face.
I dont understand why people say sex is good in the shower. How do you guys not get your laptop wet?
Harry is very quick with the ladies, before they can tell him they’re not that sort of girl, it’s usually too late.
Worst way to ask for anal: "Aww come on...I bet my dick is tiny compared to some of the shits you've taken!"
A husband feeling a bit horny goes to the bathroom and returns with 4 aspirin and a glass of water for his wife. He says, "Here honey, here are some aspirin and a some water." She replied, "but honey I do not have a headache!" He replied, "Thank God!"
Q: Why don't Canadians have group sex? A: Too many thank-you letters to write afterwards.
Q: What's the difference between a tire and 365 used condoms? A: One's a Goodyear. The other's a great year.
Q: Why did Daft Punk spend the night with a Leprechaun? A: He was "Up all night to get lucky"
A wife asked her husband: "What do you like most in me, my pretty face or my sexy body?" He looked at her from head to toe and replied: "I like your sense of humor!"