The best sex jokes

So I was at the local corner store one night and bought a pack of condoms. I went up to pay for them and the store clerk said would you like a bag? I said No, she's not that ugly. Then the 3 ladies behind me started giggling and I said wait sir, you'd better make that 3 packs.
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has 65.52 % from 44 votes. More jokes about: life, sex
Would you take a bullet for the last person you had sex with? Anything for the family.
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has 65.52 % from 44 votes. More jokes about: death, dirty, family, redneck, sex
A guy goes to the store to buy condoms. "Do you want a bag?", the cashier asks. "No", the guy says, "She's not that ugly."
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has 65.48 % from 423 votes. More jokes about: sex, ugly
Q: How do you make your wife scream while having sex? A: Call her and tell her.
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has 65.45 % from 560 votes. More jokes about: phone, sex, wife
One day, an old guy gets on a bus. Several minutes later a punk kid with red, green, and orange hair gets on. The kid notices that the old man keeps staring at him. "What you staring at, old man? Ain't you ever done anything wild in your time?" "Yeah. I screwed a parrot once. I was wondering if you were my son?"
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has 65.39 % from 71 votes. More jokes about: dirty, parrot, sex
AT WORK, Michael: Why you white guys always so happy? Casey: Because I make love to my wife every morning before work. Michael: Say whaaat? You get her to make love EVERY morning? How do you do that? Casey: It's easy, I just say a poem, women love poems and will fall for them all the time. Michael: Ok, what kind of poem can you say to make her make love every morning? Casey: I say, "blonde hair, blonde hair, eyes of blue, I love to wake up and make love to you. Michael: HAHAAA she falls for that? Casey: yes you should try it. NEXT DAY TYRONE COMES IN WITH BLACK EYE FAT LIP AND A TOOTH MISSING. Casey: What happened to you? Michael: Well, I said a poem to my wife and she didn't like it. Casey: She didn't like it? What did you say? Michael: Nappy head, nappy head, eyes like a frog, if I could roll your fat ass over I would do you like a dog.
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has 65.32 % from 323 votes. More jokes about: black people, poems, sex, white people
Husband: "Shall we try a different position tonight?" Wife: "That's a good idea... you stand by the ironing board while I sit on the sofa and fart."
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has 65.30 % from 54 votes. More jokes about: communication, fart, marriage, mean, sex
Did I tell you the joke about my dick? Never mind its too long.
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has 65.29 % from 335 votes. More jokes about: sex
An old couple decide to get married after years of courting. They sit down to discuss the marriage arrangements and the prospective bridegroom brings up the subject of sex. ‘Oh dear,’ says his aging fiancée. ‘As far as sex goes I’d have to say, infrequently.’ ‘Pardon?’ replies the bridegroom. ‘Was that one word or two?’
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has 65.25 % from 74 votes. More jokes about: sex
Q: What does a gay order in a Chinese restaurant? A: Sum Yung Gi.
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has 65.25 % from 74 votes. More jokes about: asian, food, gay, sex
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