The best sex jokes

Programming is like sex One mistake and you have to support it for the rest of your life.
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has 66.17 % from 59 votes. More jokes about: life, programmer, sex
Robinson came home in great excitement and said to his wife, “You’ll never believe it, dear, but I’ve discovered an entirely new position for lovemaking.” “Really,” said Mrs. Robinson, interested at once. “What is it?” “Back to back.” “But that’s crazy. We can’t do anything back to back.” “Yes we can. I’ve persuaded another couple to help out.”
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has 66.16 % from 52 votes. More jokes about: dirty, love, sex, wife
Two policemen are walking the beat when one says, ‘When I get home, I’m going straight upstairs and tearing off the wife’s underwear.’ ‘Feelling randy?’ asks the other. ‘No,’ says the first. ‘The elastic is killing me.’
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has 66.15 % from 93 votes. More jokes about: sex
An old couple decide to get married after years of courting. They sit down to discuss the marriage arrangements and the prospective bridegroom brings up the subject of sex. ‘Oh dear,’ says his aging fiancée. ‘As far as sex goes I’d have to say, infrequently.’ ‘Pardon?’ replies the bridegroom. ‘Was that one word or two?’
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has 66.09 % from 76 votes. More jokes about: sex
Q: How do you know when a machanic has had sex? A: Two of his fingers are clean.
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has 66.04 % from 305 votes. More jokes about: dirty, mechanic, sex
A man and wife were making love. When thay saw there 8 year old son at the door crying the dad started laughing and the boy ran away. Mom said "You better fix this now." The dad couldn't find the boy anywhere unwell he hurd a loud noise conning from grandma's room so he opened up the door and there was the boy putting his "wood" to grandma. The dad screamed "What the fuck." The boy said "It aims so funny when it's your mom is it."
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has 65.94 % from 62 votes. More jokes about: dad, dirty, family, kids, sex
John comes home and notices his wife naked in bed and the postman standing with his unzipped trousers next to the bed. The postman wants to save the situation so he says quickly: "Mrs. Ann, I warn you for the last time! If you do not sign this letter so I will pee on your brand-new carpet."
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has 65.88 % from 55 votes. More jokes about: dirty, sex, wife
That awkward moment when you're about to hug someone sexy as hell and then you hit the mirror.
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has 65.84 % from 138 votes. More jokes about: life, sex
Q. What's the difference between a prostitute, a nymphomaniac, and a blonde? A. The prostitute says, "Aren't you done yet?" The nympho says, "Are you done already?" The blonde says, "Beige...I think I'll paint the ceiling beige."
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has 65.80 % from 30 votes. More jokes about: blonde, sex
Sex is bad Sex is a sin Sins are forgiven So stick it in.
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has 65.76 % from 157 votes. More jokes about: poems, religious, sex
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