The best sex jokes

Q: What's the worst part about sex? A: When they wake up!
Vote:
has 66.10 % from 34 votes. More jokes about: mean, sex
An old couple decide to get married after years of courting. They sit down to discuss the marriage arrangements and the prospective bridegroom brings up the subject of sex. ‘Oh dear,’ says his aging fiancée. ‘As far as sex goes I’d have to say, infrequently.’ ‘Pardon?’ replies the bridegroom. ‘Was that one word or two?’
Vote:
has 66.09 % from 76 votes. More jokes about: sex
I just had an argument with a girl I know. She was saying how that it's unfair that if a guy fucks a different girl every week, he's a legend, but if a girl fucks just two guys in a year, she's a slut. So in response, I told her that if a key opens lots of locks, then it's a master key. But if a lock is opened by lots of keys, then it's a shitty lock. That shut her up.
Vote:
has 65.94 % from 62 votes. More jokes about: communication, mean, men, sex, women
At school one day, the teacher was trying to approach the topic of sex education and asked her students if they'd ever seen anything that was related to sex education on TV. Mary raised her hand and said she had seen a movie about women having babies. "Great," said the teacher, "that's very important." Then Judy raised her hand and told the teacher she had seen a TV show about people getting married. "Well, that has to do with it too," said the teacher. Then Johnny raised his hand and said he had seen a western where some Indians came riding over the hill and John Wayne shot them all. The teacher said, "Well, Johnny, that really doesn't have anything to do with sex education." "Yes it does," said Johnny, " it taught those Indians not to f**k with John Wayne."
Vote:
has 65.90 % from 135 votes. More jokes about: baby, little Johnny, school, sex, teacher
That awkward moment when you're about to hug someone sexy as hell and then you hit the mirror.
Vote:
has 65.84 % from 138 votes. More jokes about: life, sex
Q: How do you know when a machanic has had sex? A: Two of his fingers are clean.
Vote:
has 65.84 % from 300 votes. More jokes about: dirty, mechanic, sex
My girlfriend has 206 bones in her body. Now 207. Now 206. Now 207. Now 206. Now 207...
Vote:
has 65.83 % from 237 votes. More jokes about: dirty, sex
Two policemen are walking the beat when one says, ‘When I get home, I’m going straight upstairs and tearing off the wife’s underwear.’ ‘Feelling randy?’ asks the other. ‘No,’ says the first. ‘The elastic is killing me.’
Vote:
has 65.80 % from 92 votes. More jokes about: sex
When I was young my sister used to play with dolls and I played with soldiers, now we do it the other way round.
Vote:
has 65.78 % from 128 votes. More jokes about: sex
Q. Did you hear they came out with a new lesbian shoe? A. They're called Dikes. They have an extra long tongue and only take one finger to get off!
Vote:
has 65.47 % from 181 votes. More jokes about: lesbian, sex
<<<43444546
More jokes →
Page 43 of 87.