Q: What's the worst part about sex? A: When they wake up!
Two policemen are walking the beat when one says, ‘When I get home, I’m going straight upstairs and tearing off the wife’s underwear.’ ‘Feelling randy?’ asks the other. ‘No,’ says the first. ‘The elastic is killing me.’
Programming is like sex One mistake and you have to support it for the rest of your life.
Yo mama is so fat whenever I want to make sex I would request her to fart in order to find the address of her ass.
Q: Why did dinosaurs have sex under water? A: You try to keep five hundred pounds of pussy wet!
Q. Did you hear they came out with a new lesbian shoe? A. They're called Dikes. They have an extra long tongue and only take one finger to get off!
At school one day, the teacher was trying to approach the topic of sex education and asked her students if they'd ever seen anything that was related to sex education on TV. Mary raised her hand and said she had seen a movie about women having babies. "Great," said the teacher, "that's very important." Then Judy raised her hand and told the teacher she had seen a TV show about people getting married. "Well, that has to do with it too," said the teacher. Then Johnny raised his hand and said he had seen a western where some Indians came riding over the hill and John Wayne shot them all. The teacher said, "Well, Johnny, that really doesn't have anything to do with sex education." "Yes it does," said Johnny, " it taught those Indians not to f**k with John Wayne."
Q: What's the difference between a hooker and a drug dealer? A: A hooker can wash her crack and sell it again.
Q: What does a gay order in a Chinese restaurant? A: Sum Yung Gi.
A man has came over to his wife in a request. She tells him to tie her to a bed and do whatever he wants. 3 hours later he is fucking hookers and watching football and porn with friend.