The best sex jokes

Q: What did dick say to rubber? A: "Cover me I'm going in."
Vote:
has 64.52 % from 46 votes. More jokes about: communication, dirty, sex
So I was at the local corner store one night and bought a pack of condoms. I went up to pay for them and the store clerk said would you like a bag? I said No, she's not that ugly. Then the 3 ladies behind me started giggling and I said wait sir, you'd better make that 3 packs.
Vote:
has 64.52 % from 46 votes. More jokes about: life, sex
They call me the cat whisperer, cause I know exactly what that pussy needs.
Vote:
has 64.51 % from 56 votes. More jokes about: cat, communication, dirty, sex
AT WORK, Michael: Why you white guys always so happy? Casey: Because I make love to my wife every morning before work. Michael: Say whaaat? You get her to make love EVERY morning? How do you do that? Casey: It's easy, I just say a poem, women love poems and will fall for them all the time. Michael: Ok, what kind of poem can you say to make her make love every morning? Casey: I say, "blonde hair, blonde hair, eyes of blue, I love to wake up and make love to you. Michael: HAHAAA she falls for that? Casey: yes you should try it. NEXT DAY TYRONE COMES IN WITH BLACK EYE FAT LIP AND A TOOTH MISSING. Casey: What happened to you? Michael: Well, I said a poem to my wife and she didn't like it. Casey: She didn't like it? What did you say? Michael: Nappy head, nappy head, eyes like a frog, if I could roll your fat ass over I would do you like a dog.
Vote:
has 64.40 % from 395 votes. More jokes about: black people, poems, sex, white people
Why do women fake orgasms? Because they think men care.
Vote:
has 64.23 % from 94 votes. More jokes about: sex
This little kid is walking up the street with his Daddy. They see two dogs going at it. The little kid says "Hey daddy what are those doggies doing?" The father says "Ahh, they're making a puppy." That night the little kid walks in on his mother & father and daddy's on top driving it home to mama! The little kid says "Hey daddy what were you doing with Mommy?" He says "Oh, were making it a baby." The kid say "Turn her over, I want a puppy!"
Vote:
has 64.23 % from 32 votes. More jokes about: animal, family, kids, sex
A couple have been dating for a few weeks, but the guy has been afraid of making advances because he thinks his penis is on the small side. Finally, he gets up his courage and takes her down lovers’ lane. While they’re kissing, he opens his trouser zip and guides her hand onto his organ. ‘No thanks,’ says the girl. ‘I don’t smoke.’
Vote:
has 64.19 % from 122 votes. More jokes about: sex
Woman to doctor: ‘Doctor, every time I sneeze I have an orgasm.’ Doctor: ‘And what are you taking for it?’ Woman: ‘Pepper.’
Vote:
has 63.97 % from 87 votes. More jokes about: sex
What did the vagina say to the penis. So do you cum here often.
Vote:
has 63.94 % from 236 votes. More jokes about: sex
My girlfriend told me to give her 12 inches and make it hurt! So I Fucked her 3 times and then hit her with a baseball bat.
Vote:
has 63.94 % from 118 votes. More jokes about: sex
<<<44454647
More jokes →
Page 44 of 88.