The best sex jokes

Robinson came home in great excitement and said to his wife, “You’ll never believe it, dear, but I’ve discovered an entirely new position for lovemaking.” “Really,” said Mrs. Robinson, interested at once. “What is it?” “Back to back.” “But that’s crazy. We can’t do anything back to back.” “Yes we can. I’ve persuaded another couple to help out.”
Vote:
has 64.93 % from 50 votes. More jokes about: dirty, love, sex, wife
John comes home and notices his wife naked in bed and the postman standing with his unzipped trousers next to the bed. The postman wants to save the situation so he says quickly: "Mrs. Ann, I warn you for the last time! If you do not sign this letter so I will pee on your brand-new carpet."
Vote:
has 64.93 % from 50 votes. More jokes about: dirty, sex, wife
I heard that the missionary position helps men to work out the chest and triceps... do you wanna help me verify this?
Vote:
has 64.93 % from 50 votes. More jokes about: fitness, flirt, sex
AT WORK, Michael: Why you white guys always so happy? Casey: Because I make love to my wife every morning before work. Michael: Say whaaat? You get her to make love EVERY morning? How do you do that? Casey: It's easy, I just say a poem, women love poems and will fall for them all the time. Michael: Ok, what kind of poem can you say to make her make love every morning? Casey: I say, "blonde hair, blonde hair, eyes of blue, I love to wake up and make love to you. Michael: HAHAAA she falls for that? Casey: yes you should try it. NEXT DAY TYRONE COMES IN WITH BLACK EYE FAT LIP AND A TOOTH MISSING. Casey: What happened to you? Michael: Well, I said a poem to my wife and she didn't like it. Casey: She didn't like it? What did you say? Michael: Nappy head, nappy head, eyes like a frog, if I could roll your fat ass over I would do you like a dog.
Vote:
has 64.86 % from 352 votes. More jokes about: black people, poems, sex, white people
There are a number of mechanical devices which increase sexual arousal, particularly in women. Chief among these is the Mercedes-Benz 380SL convertible. Steve Martin
Vote:
has 64.86 % from 99 votes. More jokes about: car, sex, technology
A man and a woman started to have sex in the middle of a dark forest. After about 15 minutes of it, the man finally gets up and says, "Damn, I wish I had a flashlight!". The woman says, "Me too, you've been eating grass for the past ten minutes!"
Vote:
has 64.80 % from 199 votes. More jokes about: food, men, sex, time, women
Man, to woman, ‘Am I the first man you ever made love to?’ Woman, ‘You might be. Now you come to mention it, your face does look familiar.’
Vote:
has 64.79 % from 102 votes. More jokes about: sex
Q. What's the difference between a prostitute, a nymphomaniac, and a blonde? A. The prostitute says, "Aren't you done yet?" The nympho says, "Are you done already?" The blonde says, "Beige...I think I'll paint the ceiling beige."
Vote:
has 64.76 % from 29 votes. More jokes about: blonde, sex
Question: How can you tell if your wife is dead? Answer: The sex will be the same but the dishes will pile up.
Vote:
has 64.71 % from 53 votes. More jokes about: death, sex, wife, women
A tourist in Sweden is drinking in a bar when an attractive woman sits next to him. ‘Hello,’ he says. ‘Do you speak English?’ ‘Oh I speaking not much English,’ replies the woman. ‘How much?’ asks the man. The woman replies, ‘200 Kroner.’
Vote:
has 64.69 % from 76 votes. More jokes about: sex
<<<45464748
More jokes →
Page 45 of 87.