The best sex jokes

Justin Timberlake didn't bring sexy back Chuck Norris did.
Vote: has 56.77 % from 17 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: celebrity, Chuck Norris, music, sex
How can you get AIDS from a toilet seat? By sitting down before the last guy gets up.
Vote: has 56.75 % from 92 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: sex
A woman was suspicious in the loyalty of her husband for a long time and she decided to make him jealous. "My love, what would you say if I was having sex with your best friend?" "I'd say you're a lesbian!"
Vote: has 56.70 % from 145 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: husband, lesbian, love, marriage, sex
A ship with 30 sailors and one woman strands on a desert island. After one month the woman says: "I can not proceed in this way." And she suicides herself. After another month, the sailors say: "We can not proceed in this way." And they bury the woman. The next month, the sailors say: "We can not proceed in this way." And they dig up the woman.
Vote: has 56.70 % from 97 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: black humor, desert island, morbid, navy, sex
Sex is when a guys communication, enters a girls information, to increase the population, for a younger generation, do you get the information... or do you need a demonstration.
Vote: has 56.65 % from 34 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: communication, men, poems, sex, women
What’s the difference between a bar and a g-spot? Most men have no trouble finding a bar.
Vote: has 56.60 % from 177 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: alcohol, bar, sex
A man and woman were celebrating their 50 year anniversary. That night, the woman comes out of the bathroom completely naked and looks at her husband who is already in bed. She says, "Honey, 50 years ago tonight, when I came out of the bathroom with no clothes on, what were you thinking?" He said, "I was thinking that I wanted to suck your titties dry and fuck you until you couldn’t think straight." She smiled at him and said, "So what are you thinking now?" He said, "I think I did a pretty good job!"
Vote: has 56.36 % from 31 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: anniversary, husband, marriage, sex, time
One night a man and woman went to his house to have sex when he stopped her to say "I still live with my parents and me and my brother share bunk beds so if you want to change positions say "lettuce" and if you want to go faster say "tomatos" So they were getting it on and she was screaming "lettuce, lettuce, tomatos, lettuce, tomatos, tomatos" Suddenly the younger brother (on the bottom bunk) said "Could you stop making sandwiches your getting mayonase on me"!
Vote: has 56.16 % from 60 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dirty, food, sex
As is tradition in Italian families, Marol spends her wedding night in her family home. Her mother sleeps in the adjacent room in case Marol has any questions. Mama tells Marol, "You have any a problem, you come and see Mama." Later, Marol's husband unbuttons his shirt, and Marol jumps up, runs next door and cries, "Mama, Mama! He has hair all over his chest!" Mama reassures Marol, "Men have hair on the chest. This is sign of a good man. Go now and make him happy." But when Marol's husband takes off his belt, she goes jumps up again, runs next door and cries, "Mama, Mama! He has a protrusion in his pants!" Mama reassures her, "He finds you beautiful. This is sign of a good man. Go now and make him happy." Finally, Marol's husband takes off his shoes. Due to a terrible childhood accident, he only has half of his right foot. Marol jumps up and runs back to her mother's room, shouting, "Mama, Mama! He has a foot and a half!" Her mother gets up and announces, "Stand back, Marol this is a job for Mama!"
Vote: has 55.94 % from 130 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: family, marriage, sex, wedding
Two Italian virgins marry and go on their honeymoon. Unfortunately, neither knows what to do when they get there. The newlyweds call the groom's mother for advice. The mother says that they should sit on the bed together, snuggle, and things should happen from there. The newlyweds do this, but nothing happens. The groom calls his mother back. She says they should take their clothes off, get under the covers, and nature should take its course. The bride and groom take his mother's advice, but still nothing comes to mind. He calls his mother a third time. Getting frustrated with the situation, she says, "Listen, just take the biggest thing you have and stick it in her hairiest spot!" The groom is quiet for a moment and then asks his mother, "I've got my nose in her armpit, now what?"
Vote: has 55.86 % from 100 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: marriage, sex