My girlfriend told me to give her 12 inches and make it hurt! So I Fucked her 3 times and then hit her with a baseball bat.
Why do women fake orgasms? Because they think men care.
Q: Why is a sheep better than a woman? A: A sheep doesn't care if you fuck her sister.
Would you take a bullet for the last person you had sex with? Anything for the family.
Q: What did the blonde do when she found out she was pregnant with triplets? A: She went looking for the three guys.
Q: Why did they make glow in the dark condoms? A: So gay guys can play star wars.
A white guy walks into a bar and asked a black guy for a bl*w job. The black guy beat him up and threw him out of the bar. The bartender then asked, "What did he say to you? The black guy responded I don't know all I heard is something about a job!!
My girlfriend has 206 bones in her body. Now 207. Now 206. Now 207. Now 206. Now 207...
What’s a man’s definition of safe sex? Meeting his mistress at least 30 miles from his house.
A man and woman were celebrating their 50 year anniversary. That night, the woman comes out of the bathroom completely naked and looks at her husband who is already in bed. She says, "Honey, 50 years ago tonight, when I came out of the bathroom with no clothes on, what were you thinking?" He said, "I was thinking that I wanted to suck your titties dry and fuck you until you couldn’t think straight." She smiled at him and said, "So what are you thinking now?" He said, "I think I did a pretty good job!"