The best sex jokes

Two policemen are walking the beat when one says, ‘When I get home, I’m going straight upstairs and tearing off the wife’s underwear.’ ‘Feelling randy?’ asks the other. ‘No,’ says the first. ‘The elastic is killing me.’
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has 65.09 % from 90 votes. More jokes about: sex
Programming is like sex One mistake and you have to support it for the rest of your life.
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has 65.08 % from 57 votes. More jokes about: life, programmer, sex
My girlfriend told me to give her 12 inches and make it hurt! So I Fucked her 3 times and then hit her with a baseball bat.
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has 65.05 % from 106 votes. More jokes about: sex
One day, an old guy gets on a bus. Several minutes later a punk kid with red, green, and orange hair gets on. The kid notices that the old man keeps staring at him. "What you staring at, old man? Ain't you ever done anything wild in your time?" "Yeah. I screwed a parrot once. I was wondering if you were my son?"
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has 64.93 % from 70 votes. More jokes about: dirty, parrot, sex
Q: What's the difference between a hooker and a drug dealer? A: A hooker can wash her crack and sell it again.
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has 64.84 % from 162 votes. More jokes about: drug, sex
So I was at the local corner store one night and bought a pack of condoms. I went up to pay for them and the store clerk said would you like a bag? I said No, she's not that ugly. Then the 3 ladies behind me started giggling and I said wait sir, you'd better make that 3 packs.
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has 64.80 % from 43 votes. More jokes about: life, sex
Q: What do gay guys have in common with bungee jumpers? A: If the rubber breaks, they're in deep shit!
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has 64.80 % from 43 votes. More jokes about: death, dirty, gay, sex, sport
A man and his wife go to the doctor to see how they could improve their sex life. The doctor recommends Viagra. They come back and see him in a couple of weeks. The doctor says "how was the Viagra?" The wife says "great I love it." Husband says "I like it but it has some side effects, we're bared from McDonald's for life."
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has 64.78 % from 14 votes. More jokes about: couple, doctor, food, sex, viagra
Q: How do you know a blonde just lost her virginity? A: The crayons are still sticky.
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has 64.76 % from 29 votes. More jokes about: blonde, dirty, disgusting, sex
Let me insert my plug into your socket and we can generate some electricity.
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has 64.73 % from 63 votes. More jokes about: dirty, flirt, sex
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