The best sex jokes

My girlfriend told me to give her 12 inches and make it hurt! So I Fucked her 3 times and then hit her with a baseball bat.
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has 64.73 % from 105 votes. More jokes about: sex
Two policemen are walking the beat when one says, ‘When I get home, I’m going straight upstairs and tearing off the wife’s underwear.’ ‘Feelling randy?’ asks the other. ‘No,’ says the first. ‘The elastic is killing me.’
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has 64.73 % from 89 votes. More jokes about: sex
A guy gets out of the V.D. Hospital and decides to a hire a hooker, since he's been without for so long. Before long, he brings one home, and they have sex four times. After it's over, he turns to her and tells her he hasn't had sex in four months because of being in the V.D. Hospital. "How's the food there?" asks the hooker. "Because I'm going in there tomorrow!"
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has 64.72 % from 36 votes. More jokes about: disgusting, food, hospital, sex
Q: What do gay guys have in common with bungee jumpers? A: If the rubber breaks, they're in deep shit!
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has 64.72 % from 36 votes. More jokes about: death, dirty, gay, sex, sport
A boy washed with his mum in the bathroom and saw her vagina and asks: "what the hell is this". "It is called a cave" replied the mother. The next day he washed with his father and saw his dick and asks "what the heck is this". "This is called little Johnny". The next day he went to school and his teacher was mad that he came late to school so she told him to sing a song. He started to sing "when the black clouds came out of the mountain little Johnny ran into the cave."
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has 64.72 % from 36 votes. More jokes about: communication, dirty, music, school, sex
A man and a woman started to have sex in the middle of a dark forest. After about 15 minutes of it, the man finally gets up and says, "Damn, I wish I had a flashlight!". The woman says, "Me too, you've been eating grass for the past ten minutes!"
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has 64.64 % from 195 votes. More jokes about: food, men, sex, time, women
Q: What's the difference between a hooker and a drug dealer? A: A hooker can wash her crack and sell it again.
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has 64.63 % from 161 votes. More jokes about: drug, sex
What did Adam say to Eve? ‘Stand back! I don’t know how big this thing gets!’
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has 64.59 % from 79 votes. More jokes about: sex
Programming is like sex One mistake and you have to support it for the rest of your life.
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has 64.51 % from 56 votes. More jokes about: life, programmer, sex
The three words most hated by men during sex: ‘Are you done?’ The three words most hated by women during sex, ‘Honey, I’m home!’
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has 64.50 % from 148 votes. More jokes about: sex
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