The best sex jokes

Guy goes to a doctor and says he has a problem with sex. "I think my privates are too small." he says. The doctor asks him which drink he prefers. "Well, Lager," he replies, quite bemused. "Ah. There's your problem. It shrinks things, those Lagers. You should try drinking Guinness. That makes things grow." Two months later the chap returns to the doctor with a big smile on his face. He shakes the doctor by the hand and thanks him. "I take it you now drink Guinness?" asked the doc. "No", replies the man "but I've got the wife on Lager!"
Vote: has 64.72 % from 36 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: beer, doctor, sex, time, wife
A girlfriend said to me during sex that I should be a little more graceful, so I went to ballet classes!
Vote: has 64.72 % from 36 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: communication, relationship, sex
Q: Why did dinosaurs have sex under water? A: You try to keep five hundred pounds of pussy wet!
Vote: has 64.65 % from 92 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: dinosaur, sex
Programming is like sex One mistake and you have to support it for the rest of your life.
Vote: has 64.51 % from 56 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: life, programmer, sex
The three words most hated by men during sex: ‘Are you done?’ The three words most hated by women during sex, ‘Honey, I’m home!’
Vote: has 64.50 % from 148 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: sex
Man, to woman, ‘Am I the first man you ever made love to?’ Woman, ‘You might be. Now you come to mention it, your face does look familiar.’
Vote: has 64.47 % from 101 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: sex
My girlfriend told me to give her 12 inches and make it hurt! So I Fucked her 3 times and then hit her with a baseball bat.
Vote: has 64.42 % from 104 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: sex
A man and wife were making love. When thay saw there 8 year old son at the door crying the dad started laughing and the boy ran away. Mom said "You better fix this now." The dad couldn't find the boy anywhere unwell he hurd a loud noise conning from grandma's room so he opened up the door and there was the boy putting his "wood" to grandma. The dad screamed "What the fuck." The boy said "It aims so funny when it's your mom is it."
Vote: has 64.34 % from 39 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: dad, dirty, family, kids, sex
This little kid is walking up the street with his Daddy. They see two dogs going at it. The little kid says "Hey daddy what are those doggies doing?" The father says "Ahh, they're making a puppy." That night the little kid walks in on his mother & father and daddy's on top driving it home to mama! The little kid says "Hey daddy what were you doing with Mommy?" He says "Oh, were making it a baby." The kid say "Turn her over, I want a puppy!"
Vote: has 64.28 % from 25 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: animal, family, kids, sex
Are you an elevator? Cause I wanna go down on you.
Vote: has 64.28 % from 25 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: dirty, flirt, sex


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