Two policemen are walking the beat when one says, ‘When I get home, I’m going straight upstairs and tearing off the wife’s underwear.’
‘Feelling randy?’ asks the other.
‘No,’ says the first. ‘The elastic is killing me.’
Programming is like sex
One mistake and you have to support it for the rest of your life.
Vote:
My girlfriend told me to give her 12 inches and make it hurt!
So I Fucked her 3 times and then hit her with a baseball bat.
One day, an old guy gets on a bus. Several minutes later a punk kid with red, green, and orange hair gets on.
The kid notices that the old man keeps staring at him.
"What you staring at, old man?
Ain't you ever done anything wild in your time?"
"Yeah. I screwed a parrot once.
I was wondering if you were my son?"
Q: What's the difference between a hooker and a drug dealer?
A: A hooker can wash her crack and sell it again.
So I was at the local corner store one night and bought a pack of condoms.
I went up to pay for them and the store clerk said would you like a bag?
I said No, she's not that ugly.
Then the 3 ladies behind me started giggling and I said wait sir, you'd better make that 3 packs.
Q: What do gay guys have in common with bungee jumpers?
A: If the rubber breaks, they're in deep shit!
A man and his wife go to the doctor to see how they could improve their sex life.
The doctor recommends Viagra.
They come back and see him in a couple of weeks.
The doctor says "how was the Viagra?"
The wife says "great I love it."
Husband says "I like it but it has some side effects, we're bared from McDonald's for life."
Q: How do you know a blonde just lost her virginity?
A: The crayons are still sticky.
Vote:
Let me insert my plug into your socket and we can generate some electricity.