Q: Why did the gay man take two aspirin with his Viagra? A: So sex wouldn't be such a pain in the arse.
Q: Why did dinosaurs have sex under water? A: You try to keep five hundred pounds of pussy wet!
There are a number of mechanical devices which increase sexual arousal, particularly in women. Chief among these is the Mercedes-Benz 380SL convertible. Steve Martin
Chuck Norris always has s*x on the bottom. Because he never f*cks up.
Man, to woman, ‘Am I the first man you ever made love to?’ Woman, ‘You might be. Now you come to mention it, your face does look familiar.’
Q: Why do schools in West Virginia only have Drivers Ed two days a week? A: Because they need their cars for Sex Ed the other three days a week!
Maths is like s*x... ADD the bed MINUS the clothes DIVIDE the legs and pray you don't MULTIPLY.
Sometimes I wonder if I'm pregnant and then I realize I would have to be like 19 months pregnant.
This little kid is walking up the street with his Daddy. They see two dogs going at it. The little kid says "Hey daddy what are those doggies doing?" The father says "Ahh, they're making a puppy." That night the little kid walks in on his mother & father and daddy's on top driving it home to mama! The little kid says "Hey daddy what were you doing with Mommy?" He says "Oh, were making it a baby." The kid say "Turn her over, I want a puppy!"
I lost my virginity. Can I have yours?