The best sex jokes

Justin Timberlake didn't bring sexy back Chuck Norris did.
Vote: has 58.75 % from 18 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: celebrity, Chuck Norris, music, sex
There are three types of sex in a marriage. The first one is Kitchen Sex. This is when you are newlyweds, and you're still having fun, so you do it anywhere, anytime - but mostly the kitchen. The second type is Bedroom Sex. This is when you have settled down a bit and probably have kids, so you can't do it anywhere except the bedroom. The third type of sex is Hallway Sex. This is when you pass each other in the hall and say, "Screw you." But there's also a fourth kind called Courtroom Sex. This is when you are getting a divorce and you try to screw each other in public.
Vote: has 58.72 % from 53 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: marriage, sex
This little kid is walking up the street with his Daddy. They see two dogs going at it. The little kid says "Hey daddy what are those doggies doing?" The father says "Ahh, they're making a puppy." That night the little kid walks in on his mother & father and daddy's on top driving it home to mama! The little kid says "Hey daddy what were you doing with Mommy?" He says "Oh, were making it a baby." The kid say "Turn her over, I want a puppy!"
Vote: has 58.56 % from 21 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, family, kids, sex
Man to a woman: "Do you know the difference between a blowjob and a cheeseburger is?" Woman: "No." Man: "Lets have lunch sometime…"
Vote: has 58.51 % from 24 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: men, sex, women
Q: Why do blondes need to have orgasms? A: So they know when to stop having sex.
Vote: has 58.32 % from 77 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: sex
One night a man and woman went to his house to have sex when he stopped her to say "I still live with my parents and me and my brother share bunk beds so if you want to change positions say "lettuce" and if you want to go faster say "tomatos" So they were getting it on and she was screaming "lettuce, lettuce, tomatos, lettuce, tomatos, tomatos" Suddenly the younger brother (on the bottom bunk) said "Could you stop making sandwiches your getting mayonase on me"!
Vote: has 58.23 % from 66 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dirty, food, sex
I've accepted every email offer I've ever received. My penis is now 235 feet long.
Vote: has 58.16 % from 74 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: disgusting, sex
A woman was suspicious in the loyalty of her husband for a long time and she decided to make him jealous. "My love, what would you say if I was having sex with your best friend?" "I'd say you're a lesbian!"
Vote: has 58.12 % from 158 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: husband, lesbian, love, marriage, sex
A woman goes into a noisy launderette and asks the assistant to do a service wash. ‘What?!’ shouts the assistant. ‘Come again?!’ ‘No!’ shouts back the woman. ‘This time it’s mustard!’
Vote: has 58.06 % from 63 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: sex
In an elementary school, the teacher gives school work to the class. Everybody writes except little John. The teacher asks him: John, why aren’t you writing? I’m exhausted because of sex. That should not be a problem, write with your left hand.
Vote: has 58.00 % from 142 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: sex