The best sex jokes

The three words most hated by men during sex: ‘Are you done?’ The three words most hated by women during sex, ‘Honey, I’m home!’
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has 64.72 % from 149 votes. More jokes about: sex
One day Sven walks into the local pub and announces, "Well boys Svens is getting married." As you can imagine all of Sven's' friends were very happy for Sven's good fortune and they asked, "Who's the lucky girl?" Sven replied, "Well I am a marrying Madge." Well, this upset all of Sven's friends because Madge was nothing but a slut, and they all cried. "Sven you can't marry Madge, she's not a nice girl!" "Sven replied, "Oh ya, Sven's in love and he's a getting married." And his friends persisted, "Sven, Madge is a woman of low morals." Sven just grinned and replied, "Oh ya ya ya, but I love Madge." Finally, his friends had enough and in unison cried out, "But Sven, Madge has been screwed by every man in town!" "Oh ya ya ya," said Sven, "But it's not that big of a town."
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has 64.72 % from 36 votes. More jokes about: bar, marriage, sex
They call me the cat whisperer, cause I know exactly what that pussy needs.
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has 64.71 % from 53 votes. More jokes about: cat, communication, dirty, sex
A tourist in Sweden is drinking in a bar when an attractive woman sits next to him. ‘Hello,’ he says. ‘Do you speak English?’ ‘Oh I speaking not much English,’ replies the woman. ‘How much?’ asks the man. The woman replies, ‘200 Kroner.’
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has 64.69 % from 76 votes. More jokes about: sex
There are 10 types of people in the world. Those who understand binary and those who have regular sex.
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has 64.68 % from 108 votes. More jokes about: IT, sex
Let me insert my plug into your socket and we can generate some electricity.
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has 64.59 % from 79 votes. More jokes about: dirty, flirt, sex
Q: What does a good steak have in common with good sex? A: They're both very rare.
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has 64.52 % from 46 votes. More jokes about: sex
So I was at the local corner store one night and bought a pack of condoms. I went up to pay for them and the store clerk said would you like a bag? I said No, she's not that ugly. Then the 3 ladies behind me started giggling and I said wait sir, you'd better make that 3 packs.
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has 64.52 % from 46 votes. More jokes about: life, sex
Q: Ever had sex while camping? A: It's fucking intents.
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has 64.47 % from 101 votes. More jokes about: dirty, sex
Q: Why did the gay man take two aspirin with his Viagra? A: So sex wouldn't be such a pain in the arse.
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has 64.43 % from 85 votes. More jokes about: gay, sex, viagra
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