Q: How do you know when a machanic has had sex? A: Two of his fingers are clean.
My friend over there really wants your number so he knows where to get a hold of me in the morning.
A woman, after giving birth to six babies, upon seeing her husband gets up off the hospital bed, walks over to him shouting "I told you not to go doggy style!"
Yo momma's clitoris is as long as my dick.
A couple have been dating for a few weeks, but the guy has been afraid of making advances because he thinks his penis is on the small side. Finally, he gets up his courage and takes her down lovers’ lane. While they’re kissing, he opens his trouser zip and guides her hand onto his organ. ‘No thanks,’ says the girl. ‘I don’t smoke.’
Q: How do you make your wife scream while having sex? A: Call her and tell her.
Q: How can you tell if your girlfriend really likes you? A: If you stick your hand in her pants and it feels like you're feeding a horse.
Q: What's the difference between basketball and sex? A: In basketball you dribble before you shoot!
A husband and wife are walking down the street when a beautiful young woman blows the husband a kiss. ‘I met her last week,’ explains the husband. ‘Professionally of course.’ The wife replies, ‘Which profession? Yours or hers?’
What do a clitoris, an anniversary, and a toilet have in common? Men always miss them.