A man came up with a new invention, a vibrating tampon. That way a woman can be at her best when she is at her worst.
Q. What do you say to a virgin when she sneezes? A. Goes-in-tight!
A husband feeling a bit horny goes to the bathroom and returns with 4 aspirin and a glass of water for his wife. He says, "Here honey, here are some aspirin and a some water." She replied, "but honey I do not have a headache!" He replied, "Thank God!"
Q: What's the difference between a blonde and a taxi cab? A: You have to pay to ride in a taxi cab.
Q: What is the difference between oral and anal sex? A: Oral sex makes your day and Anal sex makes your whole weak.
Q: Ever had sex while camping? A: It's fucking intents.
What’s the difference between a sex night with the husband and one with the truelove? About a half an hour...
Why do men like having sex with the lights on? It makes it easier to put a name to the face.
An escaped convict broke into a house and tied up a young couple in their bedroom. The husband turned to his wife and whispered, "Honey, this guy hasn't seen action in years. If he wants sex, I think it's best to just go along with it and pretend you like it. Our lives depend on it." "I'm so relieved you feel that way," replies his wife, "because he told me he thinks you're really cute."
Question: How can you tell if your wife is dead? Answer: The sex will be the same but the dishes will pile up.