The best sex jokes

Two gay men, Paul and Tom, were making love one night, and had just finished when Paul decided he was going to freshen up in the shower. Tom was laying there thinking about how wonderful Paul was, when he decided he was going to join him in the shower. When Tom got into the bathroom, he opened up the shower curtain and the first thing he saw was a large cumshot on the wall. He wailed to Tom, "I can't believe you! We just finish making love and you come in here and jack-off!" Paul looks at the wall and says "What are you talkng about? I wasn't jacking-off, I farted!"
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has 66.25 % from 256 votes. More jokes about: disgusting, fart, gay, love, sex
A man has came over to his wife in a request. She tells him to tie her to a bed and do whatever he wants. 3 hours later he is fucking hookers and watching football and porn with friend.
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has 66.21 % from 45 votes. More jokes about: communication, mean, men, sex, wife
You are so selfish! You're going to have that body the rest of your life and I just want it for one night.
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has 66.18 % from 83 votes. More jokes about: beauty, dirty, flirt, life, sex
Programming is like sex One mistake and you have to support it for the rest of your life.
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has 66.17 % from 59 votes. More jokes about: life, programmer, sex
Q: What do gay guys have in common with bungee jumpers? A: If the rubber breaks, they're in deep shit!
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has 66.17 % from 59 votes. More jokes about: death, dirty, gay, sex, sport
An escaped convict broke into a house and tied up a young couple in their bedroom. The husband turned to his wife and whispered, "Honey, this guy hasn't seen action in years. If he wants sex, I think it's best to just go along with it and pretend you like it. Our lives depend on it." "I'm so relieved you feel that way," replies his wife, "because he told me he thinks you're really cute."
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has 66.15 % from 93 votes. More jokes about: couple, husband, marriage, sex
An old couple decide to get married after years of courting. They sit down to discuss the marriage arrangements and the prospective bridegroom brings up the subject of sex. ‘Oh dear,’ says his aging fiancée. ‘As far as sex goes I’d have to say, infrequently.’ ‘Pardon?’ replies the bridegroom. ‘Was that one word or two?’
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has 66.09 % from 76 votes. More jokes about: sex
My girlfriend has 206 bones in her body. Now 207. Now 206. Now 207. Now 206. Now 207...
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has 66.00 % from 235 votes. More jokes about: dirty, sex
I just had an argument with a girl I know. She was saying how that it's unfair that if a guy fucks a different girl every week, he's a legend, but if a girl fucks just two guys in a year, she's a slut. So in response, I told her that if a key opens lots of locks, then it's a master key. But if a lock is opened by lots of keys, then it's a shitty lock. That shut her up.
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has 65.94 % from 62 votes. More jokes about: communication, mean, men, sex, women
At school one day, the teacher was trying to approach the topic of sex education and asked her students if they'd ever seen anything that was related to sex education on TV. Mary raised her hand and said she had seen a movie about women having babies. "Great," said the teacher, "that's very important." Then Judy raised her hand and told the teacher she had seen a TV show about people getting married. "Well, that has to do with it too," said the teacher. Then Johnny raised his hand and said he had seen a western where some Indians came riding over the hill and John Wayne shot them all. The teacher said, "Well, Johnny, that really doesn't have anything to do with sex education." "Yes it does," said Johnny, " it taught those Indians not to f**k with John Wayne."
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has 65.90 % from 135 votes. More jokes about: baby, little Johnny, school, sex, teacher
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