The best sex jokes

A man limps into a bar with a cane and alligator. The bartender stops him and says "Hold on a second here - you can't bring that animal in here, they aren't allowed!" So the man says, "But my gator here does a really cool trick..." The bartender says "Well then, lets see!" So the man whips out his dick and shoves it in the gators mouth. He then takes his cane and starts bashing the gator in the head with it. A crowd gathers around and everyone is astonished when he pulls out his dick without a single scratch. He looks around at the crowd and says, "Does anyone else want to try?" An old lady raises her hand and says..."Sure, but don't hit me with that stick."
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has 65.52 % from 44 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, animal, bar, sex
Q: How do you make your wife scream while having sex? A: Call her and tell her.
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has 65.45 % from 563 votes. More jokes about: phone, sex, wife
On the other day in a cemetery, I saw a woman who was rubbing her ass to a grave. When I asked the reason, she answered: "It was my husband when he was alive; always he told me: 'Your ass is so sweet whenever any dead man touches it he'll be alive!'"
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has 65.45 % from 91 votes. More jokes about: dirty, husband, sex
What’s the difference between ‘Oooh!’ and ‘Aaah!’? About three inches.
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has 65.24 % from 64 votes. More jokes about: sex
Q: What does a good steak have in common with good sex? A: They're both very rare.
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has 65.20 % from 47 votes. More jokes about: sex
A man has came over to his wife in a request. She tells him to tie her to a bed and do whatever he wants. 3 hours later he is fucking hookers and watching football and porn with friend.
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has 65.20 % from 47 votes. More jokes about: communication, mean, men, sex, wife
A tourist in Sweden is drinking in a bar when an attractive woman sits next to him. ‘Hello,’ he says. ‘Do you speak English?’ ‘Oh I speaking not much English,’ replies the woman. ‘How much?’ asks the man. The woman replies, ‘200 Kroner.’
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has 65.12 % from 77 votes. More jokes about: sex
Did I tell you the joke about my dick? Never mind its too long.
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has 65.08 % from 339 votes. More jokes about: sex
A husband and wife are walking down the street when a beautiful young woman blows the husband a kiss. ‘I met her last week,’ explains the husband. ‘Professionally of course.’ The wife replies, ‘Which profession? Yours or hers?’
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has 65.01 % from 93 votes. More jokes about: sex
What did Adam say to Eve? ‘Stand back! I don’t know how big this thing gets!’
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has 65.00 % from 80 votes. More jokes about: sex
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