The best sex jokes

An elderly man and woman meet in a bar and get to talking. They are enjoying their conversation so much that, when the bar closes, they decide to continue at the woman's apartment. After a time, things start getting pretty romantic and they wind up in bed. Afterward, they're both laying there, staring at the ceiling. The old man is thinking, “Gosh, if I had known she was a virgin, I would have been more careful with her.” The old lady is thinking, “Geez, if I had known he could get it up, I would have taken off my panties.”
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has 66.76 % from 88 votes. More jokes about: bar, dirty, old people, romantic, sex
Guy goes to a doctor and says he has a problem with sex. "I think my privates are too small." he says. The doctor asks him which drink he prefers. "Well, Lager," he replies, quite bemused. "Ah. There's your problem. It shrinks things, those Lagers. You should try drinking Guinness. That makes things grow." Two months later the chap returns to the doctor with a big smile on his face. He shakes the doctor by the hand and thanks him. "I take it you now drink Guinness?" asked the doc. "No", replies the man "but I've got the wife on Lager!"
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has 66.64 % from 42 votes. More jokes about: beer, doctor, sex, time, wife
I was married to a Gemini she caught me cheating on her with herself.
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has 66.60 % from 27 votes. More jokes about: marriage, sex
When I was young my sister used to play with dolls and I played with soldiers, now we do it the other way round.
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has 66.52 % from 131 votes. More jokes about: sex
My girlfriend has 206 bones in her body. Now 207. Now 206. Now 207. Now 206. Now 207...
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has 66.45 % from 248 votes. More jokes about: dirty, sex
Q: Whats the difference between a blonde and a mosquito? A: A mosquito stops sucking when you slap it...
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has 66.43 % from 63 votes. More jokes about: animal, blonde, dirty, sex
Q: What does a gay order in a Chinese restaurant? A: Sum Yung Gi.
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has 66.41 % from 87 votes. More jokes about: asian, food, gay, sex
A man has came over to his wife in a request. She tells him to tie her to a bed and do whatever he wants. 3 hours later he is fucking hookers and watching football and porn with friend.
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has 66.21 % from 45 votes. More jokes about: communication, mean, men, sex, wife
Q: How do you know when a machanic has had sex? A: Two of his fingers are clean.
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has 66.17 % from 303 votes. More jokes about: dirty, mechanic, sex
Programming is like sex One mistake and you have to support it for the rest of your life.
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has 66.17 % from 59 votes. More jokes about: life, programmer, sex
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