Q: What does a gay order in a Chinese restaurant? A: Sum Yung Gi.
I was married to a Gemini she caught me cheating on her with herself.
My girlfriend has 206 bones in her body. Now 207. Now 206. Now 207. Now 206. Now 207...
When I was young my sister used to play with dolls and I played with soldiers, now we do it the other way round.
A lady tells her husband, “My gynecologist said I can’t have sex for two weeks.” He replies, “What did your dentist say?”
If your born in September, its pretty safe to assume your parents started out the New Year with a Bang!
Q: Whats the difference between a blonde and a mosquito? A: A mosquito stops sucking when you slap it...
On the other day in a cemetery, I saw a woman who was rubbing her ass to a grave. When I asked the reason, she answered: "It was my husband when he was alive; always he told me: 'Your ass is so sweet whenever any dead man touches it he'll be alive!'"
Two gay men, Paul and Tom, were making love one night, and had just finished when Paul decided he was going to freshen up in the shower. Tom was laying there thinking about how wonderful Paul was, when he decided he was going to join him in the shower. When Tom got into the bathroom, he opened up the shower curtain and the first thing he saw was a large cumshot on the wall. He wailed to Tom, "I can't believe you! We just finish making love and you come in here and jack-off!" Paul looks at the wall and says "What are you talkng about? I wasn't jacking-off, I farted!"
A man has came over to his wife in a request. She tells him to tie her to a bed and do whatever he wants. 3 hours later he is fucking hookers and watching football and porn with friend.