The best sex jokes

Q: What does a gay order in a Chinese restaurant? A: Sum Yung Gi.
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has 59.86 % from 119 votes. More jokes about: asian, food, gay, sex
Q. What's the difference between a prostitute, a nymphomaniac, and a blonde? A. The prostitute says, "Aren't you done yet?" The nympho says, "Are you done already?" The blonde says, "Beige...I think I'll paint the ceiling beige."
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has 59.74 % from 34 votes. More jokes about: blonde, sex
Yesterday my daughter was playing in the garden when I saw her kill a butterfly. So to teach her a lesson I said, "Just for that you don't get any butter for a month." Today in the kitchen she killed a cockroach. I said, "Nice try."
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has 59.66 % from 77 votes. More jokes about: animal, dirty, sex
I lost my virginity. Can I have yours?
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has 59.61 % from 60 votes. More jokes about: dirty, flirt, sex
Holy mother, full of grace Bless my boyfriend's gorgeous face Bless his hair that tends to curl Keep him safe from all the girls Bless his arms that are so strong Keep his hands where they belong Bless his dick, the one i sucked Bless the bed, in which we fucked And if my Mom happened to walk in Bless the shit I'd be in.
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has 59.50 % from 85 votes. More jokes about: poems, sex, vulgar
What did one saggy boob say to the other saggy boob? "We better get some support before someone thinks we're nuts!"
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has 59.50 % from 85 votes. More jokes about: dirty, sex
In funeral of my friend's wife, I went to condole him so I said: "Don't think she was your wife, she was for all".
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has 59.46 % from 134 votes. More jokes about: dirty, funeral, insulting, sex, wife
A Marine was going in for his physical. He had celebrated his 45th birthday that weekend. After taking all the tests, the blood other fluids. He was now waiting for the DR. in an office on the table in a paper outfit. The DR came in. After looking over all the notes, the Marine was asked if he had an active sex life. Straight-faced, the Marine answered. "Yes, Sir.' Asked how often, the Marine thought, "I cannot honestly answer that question, Sir." Turning to look at the Marine he was asked, "Why not?" Smiling the Marine stated. "One of the samples that were needed, I asked for some assistance. A nice Lady came in to help me. Would that count?" The DR. signed the paperwork. Walked out of the office saying, "Get dressed. You're fine."
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has 59.41 % from 54 votes. More jokes about: age, doctor, health, navy, sex
Robert came home from work one day to find his wife on the front porch with her bags packed. 'Just where the heck do you think you're going!', Asked Robert. 'I'm going to Nairobi', said the wife, 'I just found out I can get 4000 a night for what I give you for free! 'Robert said, 'Wait a minute!', and then ran inside the house only to come back a few minutes later with his suitcases in hand. 'Where the heck are you going?', said the wife. Robert said, 'I want to see how you're gonna live on 8000 a year!'
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has 59.39 % from 93 votes. More jokes about: money, sex, travel, wife, work
Little Johnny, "Why are you so fat?" Little Billy, "Cause Every time I fuck ur mom she gives me a doughnut."
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has 59.35 % from 68 votes. More jokes about: dirty, little Johnny, sex, vulgar, Yo mama
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