Two rednecks, Bubba And Billy Bob, were walking through a pasture. Bubba sees a sheep caught up in a fence and says to Billy Bob "I'm gonna get me some of that"! Bubba goes over and sticks the sheep's back feet in his rubber boots, unzips his pants and starts to have sex with the sheep. He looks over his shoulder at Billy Bob and says "Do you want some of this"? Billy Bob replies "yes let me see if I can get my shirt caught up in the fence".
Q: What do you call a ninety year old man who can still masturbate? A: Miracle Whip.
What happened when the blonde tried to give her boyfriend a blow-job while he was driving? They both fell off the motorcycle.
A man came up with a new invention, a vibrating tampon. That way a woman can be at her best when she is at her worst.
Maths is like s*x... ADD the bed MINUS the clothes DIVIDE the legs and pray you don't MULTIPLY.
Yo mama's so fat that, after sex I rolled over twice and was still on the bitch!
What´s the difference between a goodyear and a fucking good year? 365 condoms.
Why do men like having sex with the lights on? It makes it easier to put a name to the face.
Worst way to ask for anal: "Aww come on...I bet my dick is tiny compared to some of the shits you've taken!"
Yo mama's like a library, she's open to the public.