The chicken and the egg are laying in bed. The chicken is smoking a cigarette with a satisfied smile on its face while the egg is frowning and looking slightly annoyed. The egg mutters "Well I guess that answers that riddle".
A wife catches her husband masturbating under the shower and approaches him. The husband: Oh dear, it was so dirty that I had to rub it so hard... it almost hurts!
My girlfriend always laughs during sex – no matter what she’s reading.
Question: Why do women close their eyes during sex? Answer: They can’t stand seeing a man have a good time.
What do you call the useless piece of skin on a penis? The man.
Life is a sexually transmitted disease.
Good: Your daughter has got a new job. Bad: As a call girl. Ugly: Your co-workers are her best clients. Very ugly: She makes more money than you.
How did Pinocchio find out he was made of wood? When his hand caught fire.
Are you a mum? I am not a dad! Maybe you could help me with that!
Small boy to friend: ‘What would you do if a girl kissed you?’ Friend: ‘I’d kiss her back. What would you do?’ Small boy: ‘I’d kiss her front.’