The best sex jokes

What happened to the chinese man who walked into a wall with a boner? He smashed his his nose. Whats the Diffenence between kinky and perverted? Kinky is when you tickle your girl friends ass with a feather. Perverted is when you use the whole chicken... A girl went into a doctors office with a Strawberry up her ass, The doctor said I've got some "Cream" For that. Why was the washing machine laughing? Because it was taking the piss out the underpants. What do you do with a years worth of used condoms? Melt them, turn them into tire and call it a goodyear. What's the difference between a penis and a bonus? Your wife will always blow your bonus! A man goes to a fancy dress party wearing nothing but a jamjar on his cock. A lady asks "What are you dressed as?" He says a fireman! You break the glass, pull the knob and I'll cum as fast as I can. One night a policewoman pulls over a drunk driver. She politely asks him to step out of his car. He willingly does so. She says, "Anything you say can and will be Held against you." He replies "BREASTS."
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has 59.71 % from 63 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, car, doctor, sex
On the beach, how can you recognise a guy who uses an inflatable sex doll? He doesn’t stare at the bikinis, he stares at the beach balls.
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has 59.71 % from 63 votes. More jokes about: sex
Harry is very quick with the ladies, before they can tell him they’re not that sort of girl, it’s usually too late.
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has 59.63 % from 140 votes. More jokes about: sex
What’s the difference between a sex night with the husband and one with the truelove? About a half an hour...
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has 59.45 % from 115 votes. More jokes about: husband, love, sex
In year 1272 Arabics invented the condom, using a goat's lower intestine.  In year 1873 the British somewhat reinvented the condom by taking it out of the goat first.
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has 59.41 % from 104 votes. More jokes about: animal, sex, time
Robert came home from work one day to find his wife on the front porch with her bags packed. 'Just where the heck do you think you're going!', Asked Robert. 'I'm going to Nairobi', said the wife, 'I just found out I can get 4000 a night for what I give you for free! 'Robert said, 'Wait a minute!', and then ran inside the house only to come back a few minutes later with his suitcases in hand. 'Where the heck are you going?', said the wife. Robert said, 'I want to see how you're gonna live on 8000 a year!'
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has 59.39 % from 93 votes. More jokes about: money, sex, travel, wife, work
Two Italian virgins marry and go on their honeymoon. Unfortunately, neither knows what to do when they get there. The newlyweds call the groom's mother for advice. The mother says that they should sit on the bed together, snuggle, and things should happen from there. The newlyweds do this, but nothing happens. The groom calls his mother back. She says they should take their clothes off, get under the covers, and nature should take its course. The bride and groom take his mother's advice, but still nothing comes to mind. He calls his mother a third time. Getting frustrated with the situation, she says, "Listen, just take the biggest thing you have and stick it in her hairiest spot!" The groom is quiet for a moment and then asks his mother, "I've got my nose in her armpit, now what?"
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has 59.31 % from 120 votes. More jokes about: marriage, sex
There are 10 types of people in the world. Those who understand binary and those who have regular sex.
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has 59.22 % from 117 votes. More jokes about: IT, sex
A girlfriend said to me during sex that I should be a little more graceful, so I went to ballet classes!
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has 59.20 % from 48 votes. More jokes about: communication, relationship, sex
Remember my name, because you'll be screaming it later!
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has 59.20 % from 48 votes. More jokes about: dirty, flirt, memory, sex, time
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