The best sex jokes

She’s got her very own method of birth control. She takes her make-up off.
Vote: has 48.88 % from 68 votes. Send joke:

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Happy Father's Day to someome who's been completely replaced in his marriage by Fifty Shades of Grey.
Vote: has 48.78 % from 21 votes. Send joke:

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What do nostalgic gynaecologists do? Look up old friends.
Vote: has 48.41 % from 39 votes. Send joke:

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A young couple get between the sheets for the first time. In a flash it’s over. The boy says, ‘If I’d known you were a virgin I’d have taken more time.’ His girlfriend replies, ‘If I’d known you were going to take more time I’d have taken off my tights.’
Vote: has 48.41 % from 50 votes. Send joke:

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Life is a sexually transmitted disease.
Vote: has 48.41 % from 50 votes. Send joke:

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Q: What do you call a prostitute with a runny nose? A: Full.
Vote: has 48.30 % from 65 votes. Send joke:

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Q. What's the difference between a prostitute, a nymphomaniac, and a blonde? A. The prostitute says, "Aren't you done yet?" The nympho says, "Are you done already?" The blonde says, "Beige...I think I'll paint the ceiling beige."
Vote: has 48.26 % from 16 votes. Send joke:

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Murphy the bus driver is sitting in his cab when his supervisor comes along. ‘Hello, Murphy,’ he says. ‘What time did you pull out this morning?’ ‘I didn’t,’ replies Murphy. ‘And I’ve been worrying about it all day.’
Vote: has 48.18 % from 41 votes. Send joke:

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An evening of Valentine's Day. A man comes to a drug store: "Good evening!" "Sorry, we are sold out..."
Vote: has 48.18 % from 41 votes. Send joke:

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Q: When does a pedophile go to sleep? A: When the big hand touches the small one.
Vote: has 48.13 % from 23 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: black humor, dirty, kids, sex