Son: "What's love juice daddy?" Me: "It's what 2 people make when they're having exciting sex. Anyway? What are you watching?" Son: "Wimbledon."
Q: What's the difference between a lawyer and a prostitute? A: Clothes.
Are you an elevator? Cause I wanna go down on you.
I'm an astronaut and my next mission is to explore Uranus.
What’s the difference between a sex night with the husband and one with the truelove? About a half an hour...
Smoke a smoke Not a butt Fuck a virgin Not a slut.
An alien walks into a bar and sits next to a drunk guy and begins poking him in the shoulder. The drunk guy just ignores him. After a wile the guy turns to the alien and begins looking him up and down. He notices that the alien has no genitalia. He then asks "You guys have no genitalia, how do you guy have sex?" The alien, still poking him in the arm, just smiles!
Remember my name, because you'll be screaming it later!
Q: How can you tell if your girlfriend really likes you? A: If you stick your hand in her pants and it feels like you're feeding a horse.
Why doesn't Osama bin Laden have sex with his five wives? Because every time he spreads their legs he sees Bush.