How can you get AIDS from a toilet seat?
By sitting down before the last guy gets up.
If your right leg was Halloween and the other one was Christmas I would have come visit you between the holidays.
Man walks over to a lady in a bar and asks "whats your name ?"
"Carmen" she replies,... "I like cars and men ! Whats yours ?"
The man looks her up and down and sayes "Beerpussy ..."
Q: How do you know a blonde just lost her virginity?
A: The crayons are still sticky.
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"Will you marry me?" Is a marriage proposal.
"Will, You, Mary, Me" is a foursome proposal.
"Grandma, in the greengrocery they have that thick and that long cucumber."
Deaf grandma answers,"be sure he'll also marry you."
Got my wife a dildo and some shoes for her birthday.
If she doesn't like the shoes, she can go fuck herself.
Apparently 98% of black people enjoy sex in the shower.
The other 2% have never been to prison.
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Sex is hereditary. If your parents never had it, chances are you won't either.
I've accepted every email offer I've ever received.
My penis is now 235 feet long.
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