The best sex jokes

Two rednecks, Bubba And Billy Bob, were walking through a pasture. Bubba sees a sheep caught up in a fence and says to Billy Bob "I'm gonna get me some of that"! Bubba goes over and sticks the sheep's back feet in his rubber boots, unzips his pants and starts to have sex with the sheep. He looks over his shoulder at Billy Bob and says "Do you want some of this"? Billy Bob replies "yes let me see if I can get my shirt caught up in the fence".

Why did the pervert cross the road? Because he was stuck in the chicken.

A woman goes into a noisy launderette and asks the assistant to do a service wash. ‘What?!’ shouts the assistant. ‘Come again?!’ ‘No!’ shouts back the woman. ‘This time it’s mustard!’

"Grandma, in the greengrocery they have that thick and that long cucumber." Deaf grandma answers,"be sure he'll also marry you."

Man to a woman: "Do you know the difference between a blowjob and a cheeseburger is?" Woman: "No." Man: "Lets have lunch sometime…"

Q: What do you call a cat that wants to have sex? A: freak.

Q. What's the difference between a prostitute, a nymphomaniac, and a blonde? A. The prostitute says, "Aren't you done yet?" The nympho says, "Are you done already?" The blonde says, "Beige...I think I'll paint the ceiling beige."

Are you a candle? Because I want to blow you.

What happens when a dwarf runs between a girls legs? He gets a clit around the head and a flap on the face.

A ship with 30 sailors and one woman strands on a desert island. After one month the woman says: "I can not proceed in this way." And she suicides herself. After another month, the sailors say: "We can not proceed in this way." And they bury the woman. The next month, the sailors say: "We can not proceed in this way." And they dig up the woman.