The best sex jokes

"Grandma, in the greengrocery they have that thick and that long cucumber." Deaf grandma answers,"be sure he'll also marry you."
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has 59.41 % from 54 votes. More jokes about: sex
Two men are having a drink together. One says, ‘I had sex with my wife before we were married. What about you?’ ‘I don’t know,’ says the other. ‘What was her maiden name?’
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has 59.35 % from 68 votes. More jokes about: sex
As is tradition in Italian families, Marol spends her wedding night in her family home. Her mother sleeps in the adjacent room in case Marol has any questions. Mama tells Marol, "You have any a problem, you come and see Mama." Later, Marol's husband unbuttons his shirt, and Marol jumps up, runs next door and cries, "Mama, Mama! He has hair all over his chest!" Mama reassures Marol, "Men have hair on the chest. This is sign of a good man. Go now and make him happy." But when Marol's husband takes off his belt, she goes jumps up again, runs next door and cries, "Mama, Mama! He has a protrusion in his pants!" Mama reassures her, "He finds you beautiful. This is sign of a good man. Go now and make him happy." Finally, Marol's husband takes off his shoes. Due to a terrible childhood accident, he only has half of his right foot. Marol jumps up and runs back to her mother's room, shouting, "Mama, Mama! He has a foot and a half!" Her mother gets up and announces, "Stand back, Marol this is a job for Mama!"
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has 59.26 % from 144 votes. More jokes about: family, marriage, sex, wedding
A woman goes into a noisy launderette and asks the assistant to do a service wash. ‘What?!’ shouts the assistant. ‘Come again?!’ ‘No!’ shouts back the woman. ‘This time it’s mustard!’
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has 59.23 % from 65 votes. More jokes about: sex
A Yankee from Chicago and a Texan were talking. The Yankee said, "sex is so easy where I'm from we just walk up and stick it in." The Texan said, "where I'm from we stick it in and walk up."
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has 59.23 % from 65 votes. More jokes about: communication, dirty, geography, mean, sex
Two rednecks, Bubba And Billy Bob, were walking through a pasture. Bubba sees a sheep caught up in a fence and says to Billy Bob "I'm gonna get me some of that"! Bubba goes over and sticks the sheep's back feet in his rubber boots, unzips his pants and starts to have sex with the sheep. He looks over his shoulder at Billy Bob and says "Do you want some of this"? Billy Bob replies "yes let me see if I can get my shirt caught up in the fence".
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has 59.20 % from 48 votes. More jokes about: animal, dirty, redneck, sex, stupid
What happens when a dwarf runs between a girls legs? He gets a clit around the head and a flap on the face.
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has 59.06 % from 84 votes. More jokes about: sex
Tow millipedes went for honey moon. The male one asked: "My darling, between which feet is your pussy, please?"
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has 59.04 % from 103 votes. More jokes about: animal, dirty, love, sex, wedding
Gee, that's a nice set of legs, what time do they open?
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has 58.86 % from 56 votes. More jokes about: beauty, dirty, flirt, sex, time
A woman went to the doctor's and complained of being really sore. "Do you have any idea why?" "Well, I had sex with an elephant!" "You did? But elephants are known to have small penises!" "Yeah, but he fingered me first."
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has 58.77 % from 36 votes. More jokes about: animal, doctor, elephant, sex
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