An elderly gentleman went to see his doctor and asked for a prescription of Viagra. The doctor said, “That’s no problem. How many do you want?” The man answered, “Just a few, maybe 4, but cut each one in 4 pieces.” The doctor said, “That won’t do you any good.” The elderly gentleman said, “That’s all right. I don’t need them for sex anymore as I am over 90 years old. I just want it to stick out far enough so I don’t pee on my shoes.”
What did one saggy boob say to the other saggy boob? "We better get some support before someone thinks we're nuts!"
Tow millipedes went for honey moon. The male one asked: "My darling, between which feet is your pussy, please?"
I've accepted every email offer I've ever received. My penis is now 235 feet long.
Man to a woman: "Do you know the difference between a blowjob and a cheeseburger is?" Woman: "No." Man: "Lets have lunch sometime…"
A husband feeling a bit horny goes to the bathroom and returns with 4 aspirin and a glass of water for his wife. He says, "Here honey, here are some aspirin and a some water." She replied, "but honey I do not have a headache!" He replied, "Thank God!"
How can you get AIDS from a toilet seat? By sitting down before the last guy gets up.
What is that insensitive bit at the base of the penis called? The man.
Camilla goes to the doctors and says "Doctor, whenever one sucks Charlie's cock one gets a stomach ache." The doctor says "Have you tried Andrew's?"
Sex is hereditary. If your parents never had it, chances are you won't either.