The best sex jokes

The teacher had given the class an assignment. He stressed the importance of this particular assignment, and that no excuses would be accepted except illness or a death in the immediate family. A smart-ass student pipes up: "What about extreme sexual exhaustion, sir?" The class breaks up laughing, and when they settle down the teacher responds with: "Well, I guess you'll have to learn to write with your other hand."
Vote: has 51.81 % from 54 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: death, family, school, sex, teacher
Question master: ‘In the Garden of Eden, what were the first words Eve said to Adam?’ Contestant: ‘Gosh, that’s a hard one!’ Question master: ‘Well done. Two points.’
Vote: has 51.63 % from 70 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: sex
Valentines Slogans 10. I admire your strength, I admire your spunk, But the thing I like best, is getting you drunk. 9. Our love will never become cold and hollow, Unless, one day, you refuse to swallow. 8. I bought this Valentine's card at the store, In hopes that, later, you'd be my whore. 7. This feels so good, it feels so right, I just wish it wasn't $250 a night. 6. You're a woman of style, you're a woman of class, Especially when I'm spanking, your big-round-fat ass. 5. Before I met you, my heart was so famished, But now I'm fulfilled. . . SO MAKE ME A SAMICH!!! 4. Through all the things that came to pass, Our love has grown. . . but so's your ass. 3. You're a honey. . . and you're a cutie, I just wished you had J-Lo's "booty". 2. I don't wanna be sappy or silly or corny, So right to the point, let's do it, I'm horny! 1. If you think that hickey looks like a blister. You should check out the one that I gave to your sister!
Vote: has 51.61 % from 25 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: alcohol, love, money, sex, Valentines day
‘Sex for an old guy is a bit like shooting pool with a rope.’ George Burns
Vote: has 51.55 % from 56 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: sex
The chicken and the egg are laying in bed. The chicken is smoking a cigarette with a satisfied smile on its face while the egg is frowning and looking slightly annoyed. The egg mutters "Well I guess that answers that riddle".
Vote: has 51.15 % from 103 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: sex
A wife catches her husband masturbating under the shower and approaches him. The husband: Oh dear, it was so dirty that I had to rub it so hard... it almost hurts!
Vote: has 51.11 % from 85 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: sex
Little Johnny took sex ed and every day when little Johnny would come in from school he'll tell his dad for learning sex ed well one day we'll just come in and he said that I got thrown out sex ed Lil Johnny's daddy says how do you get thrown out sex ed Little Johnny said well Dad I got in trouble for eating during class.
Vote: has 50.97 % from 39 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dad, food, little Johnny, school, sex
Chuck Norris impregnates women without having sex with them.
Vote: has 50.89 % from 27 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Chuck Norris, dirty, sex, women
Happy Father's Day to the top three most likely candidates.
Vote: has 50.70 % from 22 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Fathers day, kids, sex, single, women
Good: Your daughter has got a new job. Bad: As a call girl. Ugly: Your co-workers are her best clients. Very ugly: She makes more money than you.
Vote: has 50.69 % from 64 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: sex