A woman goes into a noisy launderette and asks the assistant to do a service wash.
‘What?!’ shouts the assistant.
‘Come again?!’
‘No!’ shouts back the woman.
‘This time it’s mustard!’
Why doesn't Osama bin Laden have sex with his five wives?
Because every time he spreads their legs he sees Bush.
What happens when a dwarf runs between a girls legs?
He gets a clit around the head and a flap on the face.
Once a blonde wanted to go to her boyfriend's home.
Her mom advised her: "My sweet whenever your boy friend wanted to touch your pants tell him there is a hot oven so your hand will burn."
Next day her mom asked her daughter: "Had you a good day?"
The blonde answered: "It was the best day in my life because when my boyfriend touched my pants I told him: 'There is a hot oven and your hand would damage!' But he urged me that I've one hot dog and I wanna to cook it for several times he put his hot dog in my pants and then he put it in my mouth for confident whether it has been cooked or not."
Q: What do a woman and a bar have in common?
A: Liquor in the front, Poker in the back.
Tow millipedes went for honey moon.
The male one asked: "My darling, between which feet is your pussy, please?"
A sexology professor announced that if any man over 50 eats 2 or 3 dates with a raw garlic clove he never fails in sex problems.
This prescription makes his dick strong and heathy.
There is only one side effect.
That diet causes he blows many farts daily!
"Grandma, in the greengrocery they have that thick and that long cucumber."
Deaf grandma answers,"be sure he'll also marry you."
How can you get AIDS from a toilet seat?
By sitting down before the last guy gets up.
Sex is hereditary. If your parents never had it, chances are you won't either.