The best sex jokes

As is tradition in Italian families, Marol spends her wedding night in her family home. Her mother sleeps in the adjacent room in case Marol has any questions. Mama tells Marol, "You have any a problem, you come and see Mama." Later, Marol's husband unbuttons his shirt, and Marol jumps up, runs next door and cries, "Mama, Mama! He has hair all over his chest!" Mama reassures Marol, "Men have hair on the chest. This is sign of a good man. Go now and make him happy." But when Marol's husband takes off his belt, she goes jumps up again, runs next door and cries, "Mama, Mama! He has a protrusion in his pants!" Mama reassures her, "He finds you beautiful. This is sign of a good man. Go now and make him happy." Finally, Marol's husband takes off his shoes. Due to a terrible childhood accident, he only has half of his right foot. Marol jumps up and runs back to her mother's room, shouting, "Mama, Mama! He has a foot and a half!" Her mother gets up and announces, "Stand back, Marol this is a job for Mama!"
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has 59.52 % from 145 votes. More jokes about: family, marriage, sex, wedding
Two friends who had not seen each other for awhile met at a bar. "Hey, your wife just had a birthday recently, didn't she? Did you get her anything special?" "Yeah, I got her a pair of slippers and a dildo." "A pair of slippers and a dildo?" "Yeah, I said 'If you don't like the slippers, you can go fuck yourself.' "
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has 59.51 % from 57 votes. More jokes about: bar, birthday, dirty, friendship, sex
Gee, that's a nice set of legs, what time do they open?
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has 59.51 % from 57 votes. More jokes about: beauty, dirty, flirt, sex, time
"Grandma, in the greengrocery they have that thick and that long cucumber." Deaf grandma answers,"be sure he'll also marry you."
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has 59.41 % from 54 votes. More jokes about: sex
I lost my virginity. Can I have yours?
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has 59.41 % from 54 votes. More jokes about: dirty, flirt, sex
Tow millipedes went for honey moon. The male one asked: "My darling, between which feet is your pussy, please?"
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has 59.41 % from 104 votes. More jokes about: animal, dirty, love, sex, wedding
Two men are having a drink together. One says, ‘I had sex with my wife before we were married. What about you?’ ‘I don’t know,’ says the other. ‘What was her maiden name?’
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has 59.35 % from 68 votes. More jokes about: sex
Q: How can you tell if your girlfriend really likes you? A: If you stick your hand in her pants and it feels like you're feeding a horse.
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has 59.35 % from 68 votes. More jokes about: animal, dirty, relationship, sex
A woman goes into a noisy launderette and asks the assistant to do a service wash. ‘What?!’ shouts the assistant. ‘Come again?!’ ‘No!’ shouts back the woman. ‘This time it’s mustard!’
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has 59.23 % from 65 votes. More jokes about: sex
Once a blonde wanted to go to her boyfriend's home. Her mom advised her: "My sweet whenever your boy friend wanted to touch your pants tell him there is a hot oven so your hand will burn." Next day her mom asked her daughter: "Had you a good day?" The blonde answered: "It was the best day in my life because when my boyfriend touched my pants I told him: 'There is a hot oven and your hand would damage!' But he urged me that I've one hot dog and I wanna to cook it for several times he put his hot dog in my pants and then he put it in my mouth for confident whether it has been cooked or not."
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has 59.01 % from 111 votes. More jokes about: blonde, dirty, relationship, sex, stupid
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