The best sex jokes

Q: How can you tell if your girlfriend really likes you? A: If you stick your hand in her pants and it feels like you're feeding a horse.
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has 59.80 % from 66 votes. More jokes about: animal, dirty, relationship, sex
There were two security guards who worked on opposite shifts, but looked after the same building. Over a period of a year, the night shift security guard noticed that his opposite was putting on weight. So one evening at shift change, the night shift security guard says to the day shift security guard "Hey buddy, you aint half gettin fat". To which the day shift guard replies "Yeah, that's because every time I shag your wife she gives me a chocolate biscuit".
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has 59.79 % from 94 votes. More jokes about: chocolate, fat, sex, wife, work
A woman went to the doctor's and complained of being really sore. "Do you have any idea why?" "Well, I had sex with an elephant!" "You did? But elephants are known to have small penises!" "Yeah, but he fingered me first."
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has 59.75 % from 37 votes. More jokes about: animal, doctor, elephant, sex
An elderly gentleman went to see his doctor and asked for a prescription of Viagra. The doctor said, “That’s no problem. How many do you want?” The man answered, “Just a few, maybe 4, but cut each one in 4 pieces.” The doctor said, “That won’t do you any good.” The elderly gentleman said, “That’s all right. I don’t need them for sex anymore as I am over 90 years old. I just want it to stick out far enough so I don’t pee on my shoes.”
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has 59.75 % from 37 votes. More jokes about: disgusting, doctor, old people, sex, viagra
What is a man's idea of foreplay? A half hour of begging.
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has 59.75 % from 37 votes. More jokes about: men, sex
Q: What's the worst part about sex? A: When they wake up!
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has 59.75 % from 37 votes. More jokes about: mean, sex
Q: How do you know a blonde just lost her virginity? A: The crayons are still sticky.
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has 59.75 % from 37 votes. More jokes about: blonde, dirty, disgusting, sex
Yo mama's like a library, she's open to the public.
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has 59.75 % from 31 votes. More jokes about: dirty, insulting, sex, Yo mama
Husband: "Shall we try a different position tonight?" Wife: "That's a good idea... you stand by the ironing board while I sit on the sofa and fart."
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has 59.71 % from 63 votes. More jokes about: communication, fart, marriage, mean, sex
What did one saggy boob say to the other saggy boob? "We better get some support before someone thinks we're nuts!"
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has 59.66 % from 77 votes. More jokes about: dirty, sex
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