The best sex jokes

Q: Who did little Johnny see when he snuck into the church late one night? A: Pastor Bedtime.
Vote: has 48.78 % from 21 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: church, dirty, little Johnny, sex
A man goes to the doctor and says "I need birth control for my 10 year old daughter" The doctor replies "She's 10 years old and sexually active?" The man says" Active? Hell no! Most of the time se just lies there and cries."
Vote: has 48.69 % from 37 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: age, black humor, doctor, sex
What do nostalgic gynaecologists do? Look up old friends.
Vote: has 48.41 % from 39 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: sex
Q: What do you call a prostitute with a runny nose? A: Full.
Vote: has 48.30 % from 65 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: sex
Murphy the bus driver is sitting in his cab when his supervisor comes along. ‘Hello, Murphy,’ he says. ‘What time did you pull out this morning?’ ‘I didn’t,’ replies Murphy. ‘And I’ve been worrying about it all day.’
Vote: has 48.18 % from 41 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: sex
Valentines Slogans 10. I admire your strength, I admire your spunk, But the thing I like best, is getting you drunk. 9. Our love will never become cold and hollow, Unless, one day, you refuse to swallow. 8. I bought this Valentine's card at the store, In hopes that, later, you'd be my whore. 7. This feels so good, it feels so right, I just wish it wasn't $250 a night. 6. You're a woman of style, you're a woman of class, Especially when I'm spanking, your big-round-fat ass. 5. Before I met you, my heart was so famished, But now I'm fulfilled. . . SO MAKE ME A SAMICH!!! 4. Through all the things that came to pass, Our love has grown. . . but so's your ass. 3. You're a honey. . . and you're a cutie, I just wished you had J-Lo's "booty". 2. I don't wanna be sappy or silly or corny, So right to the point, let's do it, I'm horny! 1. If you think that hickey looks like a blister. You should check out the one that I gave to your sister!
Vote: has 48.13 % from 23 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: alcohol, love, money, sex, Valentines day
Chuck Norris impregnates women without having sex with them.
Vote: has 48.13 % from 23 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Chuck Norris, dirty, sex, women
Q. Why don't little girls fart? A. Because they don't get assholes until they're married.
Vote: has 48.03 % from 90 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: fart, marriage, sex
‘I believe that sex is one of the most beautiful, natural, wholesome things that money can buy.’ Steve Martin
Vote: has 48.02 % from 71 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: sex
Men, don’t buy expensive ‘ribbed’ condoms; buy an ordinary one and slip in a handful of frozen peas.
Vote: has 47.97 % from 43 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: sex