What's worse than finding a dead baby on your pillow in the morning? Realizing you were drunk and made love to it the night before.
Q: What do you call a roman warrior after oral sex? A: Gladiator.
Grandmother is so stupid, she’s gone on the pill because she doesn’t want any more grandchildren.
Q. What's the definition of a Yankee? A. Same thing as a ''quickie'', only you do it yourself.
- "Didn't you read Lord of the Rings in high school"? - "No, I had sex in high school."
Q. What's the difference between tampons and cowboy hats? A. Cowboy hats are for ass holes.
What's a man's definition of a romantic evening? Sex.
Q: When does a pedophile go to sleep? A: When the big hand touches the small one.
‘I was involved in an extremely good example of oral contraception two weeks ago. I asked a girl to go to bed with me, and she said “No”.’ Woody Allen
Yo' Mama is so fat, you have to slap her thigh and ride the wave in to have sex with her.