The best sex jokes

How can you get AIDS from a toilet seat? By sitting down before the last guy gets up.
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has 58.55 % from 99 votes. More jokes about: sex
Once a blonde wanted to go to her boyfriend's home. Her mom advised her: "My sweet whenever your boy friend wanted to touch your pants tell him there is a hot oven so your hand will burn." Next day her mom asked her daughter: "Had you a good day?" The blonde answered: "It was the best day in my life because when my boyfriend touched my pants I told him: 'There is a hot oven and your hand would damage!' But he urged me that I've one hot dog and I wanna to cook it for several times he put his hot dog in my pants and then he put it in my mouth for confident whether it has been cooked or not."
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has 58.54 % from 107 votes. More jokes about: blonde, dirty, relationship, sex, stupid
Camilla goes to the doctors and says "Doctor, whenever one sucks Charlie's cock one gets a stomach ache." The doctor says "Have you tried Andrew's?"
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has 58.51 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: doctor, men, sex
Sex is hereditary. If your parents never had it, chances are you won't either.
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has 58.47 % from 219 votes. More jokes about: sex
Once while having s*x in a tractor-trailer, part of Chuck Norris' sperm escaped and ran into the engine. We now know this truck....as Optimus Prime.
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has 58.46 % from 80 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, sex
A husband feeling a bit horny goes to the bathroom and returns with 4 aspirin and a glass of water for his wife. He says, "Here honey, here are some aspirin and a some water." She replied, "but honey I do not have a headache!" He replied, "Thank God!"
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has 58.40 % from 198 votes. More jokes about: sex
Why are guys like microwavable meals? They’re both done in 30 seconds.
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has 58.18 % from 55 votes. More jokes about: sex
Gee, that's a nice set of legs, what time do they open?
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has 58.18 % from 55 votes. More jokes about: beauty, dirty, flirt, sex, time
In an elementary school, the teacher gives school work to the class. Everybody writes except little John. The teacher asks him: John, why aren’t you writing? I’m exhausted because of sex. That should not be a problem, write with your left hand.
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has 58.01 % from 155 votes. More jokes about: sex
A man and his wife agreed on a code to use in front of their kids when they want to have s*x. The code is: "Making a call." One day the man ask his son to tell his mother, that dad wants to make a phone call. The boy returns to his dad, that mom says she is out of order. Then he ask him to tell her, that dad will go outside to make a phone call. The boy returns, that mom says, "If you do so, she will open a central telephone station in the house."
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has 58.01 % from 52 votes. More jokes about: kids, marriage, phone, sex, wife
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