Hey! I don't have a mom, me and my dad share yours.
Nigel, a college student is talking to a friend. ‘Y’ know,’ he says. ‘I think my room-mate is queer.’ ‘Why d’you say that?’ asks the student. ‘Well,’ replies Nigel. ‘Every time I kiss him goodnight he shuts his eyes.’
Chuck Norris impregnates women without having sex with them.
A young couple get between the sheets for the first time. In a flash it’s over. The boy says, ‘If I’d known you were a virgin I’d have taken more time.’ His girlfriend replies, ‘If I’d known you were going to take more time I’d have taken off my tights.’
Good: Your daughter has got a new job. Bad: As a call girl. Ugly: Your co-workers are her best clients. Very ugly: She makes more money than you.
What’s the difference between erotic and kinky? Erotic is using a feather. Kinky is using the whole chicken.
An evening of Valentine's Day. A man comes to a drug store: "Good evening!" "Sorry, we are sold out..."
Happy Father's Day to the top three most likely candidates.
What happened when the chef got his hand caught in the dishwasher? They both got fired.
Q. Why don't little girls fart? A. Because they don't get assholes until they're married.