Why are guys like microwavable meals?
They’re both done in 30 seconds.
Gee, that's a nice set of legs, what time do they open?
Little Johnny, "Why are you so fat?"
Little Billy, "Cause Every time I fuck ur mom she gives me a doughnut."
Q: What's the difference between acne and a Roman Catholic Priest from the Vatican?
A: Acne would wait until you're at least 13 before it would cum on your face!
Q: What do a woman and a bar have in common?
A: Liquor in the front, Poker in the back.
Why did the pervert cross the road?
Because he was stuck in the chicken.
Two Rabbits are running from a group of foxes.
They hide in a pile of hay, one rabbit says to the other one "Ok we can run for it or we can stay here and out number them."
And the other rabbit says, "We're going to run for it you idiot I'm your brother."
In an elementary school, the teacher gives school work to the class.
Everybody writes except little John.
The teacher asks him: John, why aren’t you writing?
I’m exhausted because of sex.
That should not be a problem, write with your left hand.
A woman went to the doctor's and complained of being really sore.
"Do you have any idea why?"
"Well, I had sex with an elephant!"
"You did?
But elephants are known to have small penises!"
"Yeah, but he fingered me first."
An elderly gentleman went to see his doctor and asked for a prescription of Viagra.
The doctor said, “That’s no problem. How many do you want?”
The man answered, “Just a few, maybe 4, but cut each one in 4 pieces.”
The doctor said, “That won’t do you any good.”
The elderly gentleman said, “That’s all right. I don’t need them for sex anymore as I am over 90 years old. I just want it to stick out far enough so I don’t pee on my shoes.”
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