Two rabbis prepare to wash the cadaver of a recently deceased before burying him, according to a Jewish tradition. The deceased possessed a tremendous sexual organ. Aaron, you see what I am seeing? Yes Jacob, I see it... it is as mine. That long? No, that dead.
What's worse than finding a dead baby on your pillow in the morning? Realizing you were drunk and made love to it the night before.
Lifting weights have really helped me with the ladies - the last five I raped didn't stand a chance.
Two old men hobble into the pub. One says, ‘I’ve heard Guinness puts lead in your pencil. Shall we try some?’ ‘All right,’ says the other. ‘But, to be honest, I’ve got nobody to write to.’
‘I’m a bad lover. Once I caught a peeping Tom booing me.’ Rodney Dangerfield
Well, you know what they say: unlucky in love, get the clap.
Q: Did you hear about the couple that "96ed?" A: After they "69ed" they rolled over and sh*t in each other's hair.
Yo' Mama is so fat, you have to slap her thigh and ride the wave in to have sex with her.
Q: What have condoms and tires in common? A: Good year.
Man to vicar: ‘Do you approve of sex before marriage?’ Vicar: ‘Not if it delays the service.’