The best sex jokes

Two rabbis prepare to wash the cadaver of a recently deceased before burying him, according to a Jewish tradition. The deceased possessed a tremendous sexual organ. Aaron, you see what I am seeing? Yes Jacob, I see it... it is as mine. That long? No, that dead.
Vote: has 44.49 % from 48 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: death, jewish, sex
What's worse than finding a dead baby on your pillow in the morning? Realizing you were drunk and made love to it the night before.
Vote: has 44.47 % from 52 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: black humor, dead baby, drunk, morbid, sex
Lifting weights have really helped me with the ladies - the last five I raped didn't stand a chance.
Vote: has 44.01 % from 79 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: black humor, sex, women
Two old men hobble into the pub. One says, ‘I’ve heard Guinness puts lead in your pencil. Shall we try some?’ ‘All right,’ says the other. ‘But, to be honest, I’ve got nobody to write to.’
Vote: has 43.42 % from 43 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: sex
‘I’m a bad lover. Once I caught a peeping Tom booing me.’ Rodney Dangerfield
Vote: has 43.40 % from 41 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: sex
Well, you know what they say: unlucky in love, get the clap.
Vote: has 43.39 % from 37 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: sex
Q: Did you hear about the couple that "96ed?" A: After they "69ed" they rolled over and sh*t in each other's hair.
Vote: has 42.61 % from 14 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: couple, disgusting, sex
Yo' Mama is so fat, you have to slap her thigh and ride the wave in to have sex with her.
Vote: has 42.61 % from 14 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: fat, insulting, sex, Yo mama
Q: What have condoms and tires in common? A: Good year.
Vote: has 42.19 % from 40 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: sex
Man to vicar: ‘Do you approve of sex before marriage?’ Vicar: ‘Not if it delays the service.’
Vote: has 42.06 % from 36 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: sex