A furniture store keeps calling me.
But all I wanted was one night stand.
The big difference between sex for money and sex for free is that sex for money usually costs a lot less.
Got my wife a dildo and some shoes for her birthday.
If she doesn't like the shoes, she can go fuck herself.
Smoke a smoke
Not a butt
Fuck a virgin
Not a slut.
Yo mama's like a library, she's open to the public.
Why are guys like microwavable meals?
They’re both done in 30 seconds.
Once a blonde wanted to go to her boyfriend's home.
Her mom advised her: "My sweet whenever your boy friend wanted to touch your pants tell him there is a hot oven so your hand will burn."
Next day her mom asked her daughter: "Had you a good day?"
The blonde answered: "It was the best day in my life because when my boyfriend touched my pants I told him: 'There is a hot oven and your hand would damage!' But he urged me that I've one hot dog and I wanna to cook it for several times he put his hot dog in my pants and then he put it in my mouth for confident whether it has been cooked or not."
Q:Why do women like to have sex with the lights off?
A:They can't stand to see a man have a good time!
What happens when a dwarf runs between a girls legs?
He gets a clit around the head and a flap on the face.
Man to woman: ‘Tell me, after having sex do you ever smoke?’
Woman: ‘I’ve never looked.’