The best sex jokes

An elderly couple met for a romp in the broom closet at the nursing home. They undressed and were about to screw, The woman decided to warn the man of her heart condition. "I should tell you, I have acute angina" she said. The man replied, "thats good because you have the ugliest breasts I ever seen!"
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has 56.08 % from 123 votes. More jokes about: sex
A woman gives birth to a baby, and afterwards, the doctor comes in and he says, "I have to tell you something about your baby." The woman sits up in bed and says, "What's wrong with my baby doctor? What's wrong?" The doctor says, "Well, now, nothing's wrong, exactly, but your baby is a little bit different. Your baby is a hermaphrodite." The woman is confused. "A hermaphrodite..... what's that?" The doctor replies, "Well, it means your baby has the.......er......features....of a male and a female." The woman turns pale. She says, "Oh MY GOD! you mean it has a penis..... AND a brain.
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has 56.07 % from 719 votes. More jokes about: baby, sex, women
‘Doctor, I suffer from premature ejaculation. Can you help me?!’ ‘No, but I can introduce you to a woman with a short attention span!’
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has 56.06 % from 65 votes. More jokes about: sex
Want to make a porno? We don't have to tape it.
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has 56.05 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: dirty, flirt, sex
Roses are red violets are blue. My dick has glue I offer it to you.
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has 55.98 % from 70 votes. More jokes about: dirty, flirt, poems, sex
How does a girl from Harlem practice safe sex? She locks the car doors.
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has 55.86 % from 105 votes. More jokes about: car, racist, sex
Q:Why do women like to have sex with the lights off? A:They can't stand to see a man have a good time!
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has 55.78 % from 62 votes. More jokes about: sex
The young fellow is about to marry and asks his grandfather how often a married couple should have sex. His grandfather tells him, "When you first get married, you want it all the time, maybe several times a day; later on, maybe once a week. As you get older, you have sex maybe once a month. When you get really old, you are lucky to have it once a year, maybe on your anniversary." The young fellow asks, "How about you and Grandma?" His grandfather replies, "Oh, we just have oral sex now. She goes into her bedroom and I go into my bedroom. She yells, 'F**k you,' and I holler back, 'F**k you, too!'"
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has 55.74 % from 122 votes. More jokes about: age, marriage, sex
Do you work at a cattery? Because I wanna be covered in pussy.
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has 55.71 % from 25 votes. More jokes about: dirty, flirt, sex
Chuck Norris can make love to a girl so hard and fast it inspired a reality tv series. We know it as Forged in the fire.
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has 55.71 % from 25 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, sex, women
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