Son: "What's love juice daddy?"
Me: "It's what 2 people make when they're having exciting sex. Anyway? What are you watching?"
Son: "Wimbledon."
Q: The male sex has two hobbies. What are they?
A: His left hand and his right hand.
Vote:
It’s the morning after the honeymoon.
The wife says, ‘You know, you’re a really lousy lover.’
The husband replies, ‘How can you possible tell that after only 30 seconds.’
Sometimes I wonder if I'm pregnant and then I realize I would have to be like 19 months pregnant.
How did Pinocchio find out he was made of wood?
When his hand caught fire.
Q: What do you call Bin Laden when he lost his virginity?
A: Osama Bin Laiden.
Vote:
I hope you're into yoga, cause you're going to get a good stretch tonight.
A woman went to the doctor's and complained of being really sore.
"Do you have any idea why?"
"Well, I had sex with an elephant!"
"You did?
But elephants are known to have small penises!"
"Yeah, but he fingered me first."
A Chinese man came home after a late night of drinking, and crawls in bed next to his sleeping wife.
After lying awake for a few minutes, he wakes up his wife and says "Hey honey, wanna do a sixty-nine?"
"Well, you've got a lot of nerve! First you come home late, you're drunk, and now you expect me to go to the kitchin and fix you Mongolian beef with snow-peas!"
Question: If you went to a party and woke up with a condom in your ass would you tell anyone?
Answer: No!
Response: Wanna go to a party?
Vote: