‘Doctor, I suffer from premature ejaculation. Can you help me?!’ ‘No, but I can introduce you to a woman with a short attention span!’
Q: How does an English man know that his wife has died? A: Sex is still the same but the dishes are stacked in the sink.
Yo momma's clitoris is as long as my dick.
Two men were talking: First : "Can U put the word 'penis' in a sentence?" Second: "Yo mama's pussy."
Are you a candle? Because I want to blow you.
Q:Why do women like to have sex with the lights off? A:They can't stand to see a man have a good time!
Q: What do you call Bin Laden when he lost his virginity? A: Osama Bin Laiden.
She’s like train tracks – she’s been laid across the country.
Q: Why do blondes need to have orgasms? A: So they know when to stop having sex.
One day a guy and a girl were making out in her parents' bedroom, and it was getting pretty steamy. All of a sudden, the guy takes out his shlong and places it in her hand. She screams and runs downstairs, through the kitchen, through the living room, the bathroom, the dining room, back upstairs, through her bedroom, her bathroom, her sister's bedroom, down the hall and back into her parents' bedroom. "Listen, pal! I have two words for you -- DROP DEAD!" "I have two words for you -- LET GO!"