Do you like maths?
If so add a bed subtract your clothes divide your legs and we can multiply!
Are you a candle?
Because I want to blow you.
Q:Why do women like to have sex with the lights off?
A:They can't stand to see a man have a good time!
Q: What do you call Bin Laden when he lost his virginity?
A: Osama Bin Laiden.
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The young fellow is about to marry and asks his grandfather how often a married couple should have sex.
His grandfather tells him, "When you first get married, you want it all the time, maybe several times a day; later on, maybe once a week. As you get older, you have sex maybe once a month. When you get really old, you are lucky to have it once a year, maybe on your anniversary."
The young fellow asks, "How about you and Grandma?"
His grandfather replies, "Oh, we just have oral sex now. She goes into her bedroom and I go into my bedroom. She yells, 'F**k you,' and I holler back, 'F**k you, too!'"
She’s like train tracks – she’s been laid across the country.
Q: Why do blondes need to have orgasms?
A: So they know when to stop having sex.
It’s the morning after the honeymoon.
The wife says, ‘You know, you’re a really lousy lover.’
The husband replies, ‘How can you possible tell that after only 30 seconds.’
A German woman is walking down the street.
Eleven blonde guys walk up and attack her.
She screams, "Nein!, Nein"
So two guys walk away.
One day a guy and a girl were making out in her parents' bedroom, and it was getting pretty steamy.
All of a sudden, the guy takes out his shlong and places it in her hand.
She screams and runs downstairs, through the kitchen, through the living room, the bathroom, the dining room, back upstairs, through her bedroom, her bathroom, her sister's bedroom, down the hall and back into her parents' bedroom.
"Listen, pal! I have two words for you -- DROP DEAD!"
"I have two words for you -- LET GO!"
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