Well, you know what they say: unlucky in love, get the clap.
What's worse than finding a dead baby on your pillow in the morning? Realizing you were drunk and made love to it the night before.
‘I’m a bad lover. Once I caught a peeping Tom booing me.’ Rodney Dangerfield
Two old men hobble into the pub. One says, ‘I’ve heard Guinness puts lead in your pencil. Shall we try some?’ ‘All right,’ says the other. ‘But, to be honest, I’ve got nobody to write to.’
Q: What do Blondes say after sex? A1: Thanks Guys. A2: Are you boys all in the same band? A3: Do you guys all play for the Green Bay Packers?
YO MAMA IS SO STUPID SHE GOT FIRED FROM A BL*W JOB.
Happy Father's Day to someome who's been completely replaced in his marriage by Fifty Shades of Grey.
Q: When does a pedophile go to sleep? A: When the big hand touches the small one.
Q: What’s so good in f***ing twenty six year olds? A: That they are twenty…
Lifting weights have really helped me with the ladies - the last five I raped didn't stand a chance.