Q: How does an English man know that his wife has died? A: Sex is still the same but the dishes are stacked in the sink.
Yo momma's clitoris is as long as my dick.
Two men were talking: First : "Can U put the word 'penis' in a sentence?" Second: "Yo mama's pussy."
One night a man and woman went to his house to have sex when he stopped her to say "I still live with my parents and me and my brother share bunk beds so if you want to change positions say "lettuce" and if you want to go faster say "tomatos" So they were getting it on and she was screaming "lettuce, lettuce, tomatos, lettuce, tomatos, tomatos" Suddenly the younger brother (on the bottom bunk) said "Could you stop making sandwiches your getting mayonase on me"!
Are you a candle? Because I want to blow you.
Viagra is like Disneyland; a one hour wait for a 2-minute ride.
Q:Why do women like to have sex with the lights off? A:They can't stand to see a man have a good time!
Q: What do you call Bin Laden when he lost his virginity? A: Osama Bin Laiden.
She’s like train tracks – she’s been laid across the country.
Q: Why do blondes need to have orgasms? A: So they know when to stop having sex.