Apparently 98% of black people enjoy sex in the shower. The other 2% have never been to prison.
It’s the morning after the honeymoon. The wife says, ‘You know, you’re a really lousy lover.’ The husband replies, ‘How can you possible tell that after only 30 seconds.’
Q: Chuck Norris invented the internet? A: Just so he had a place to store his porn.
Little Johnny, "Why are you so fat?" Little Billy, "Cause Every time I fuck ur mom she gives me a doughnut."
A ship with 30 sailors and one woman strands on a desert island. After one month the woman says: "I can not proceed in this way." And she suicides herself. After another month, the sailors say: "We can not proceed in this way." And they bury the woman. The next month, the sailors say: "We can not proceed in this way." And they dig up the woman.
Why pay $5 at Subway when you can get this footlong for free?
A woman was out golfing one day when she hit her ball into the woods. She went into the woods to look for it and found a frog in a trap. The frog said to her, "If you release me from this trap, I will grant you 3 wishes." The woman freed the frog and the frog said, "Thank you, but I failed to mention that there was a condition to your wishes-that whatever you wish for, your husband will get 10 times more or better!" The woman said, "That would be okay," and for her first wish, she wanted to be the most beautiful woman in the world. The frog warned her, "You do realize that this wish will also make your husband the most handsome man in the world, an Adonis, that women will flock to." The woman replied, "That will be okay because I will be the most beautiful woman and he will only have eyes for me." So, KAZAM - she's the most beautiful woman in the world! For her second wish, she wanted to be the richest woman in the world. The frog said, "That will make your husband the richest man in the world and he will be ten times richer than you." The woman said, "That will be okay because what is mine is his and what is his is mine." So, KAZAM she's the richest woman in the world! The frog then inquired about her third wish, and she answered, I'd like a mild heart attack."
Do you like maths? If so add a bed subtract your clothes divide your legs and we can multiply!
Man to a woman: "Do you know the difference between a blowjob and a cheeseburger is?" Woman: "No." Man: "Lets have lunch sometime…"
Are you a candle? Because I want to blow you.