The best sex jokes

What did the Irish spinster keep saying in her prayers? ‘Good Lord, please have Murphy on me…’
Vote: has 35.32 % from 35 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: sex
How do you know when your sister is on her period? Your dad's dick tastes like blood.
Vote: has 35.28 % from 21 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dad, disgusting, sex
Why can’t gypsies have babies? Because their husbands have crystal balls.
Vote: has 35.12 % from 40 votes. Send joke:

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Q. What do gay kids get for Christmas? A. Erection Sets.
Vote: has 34.91 % from 60 votes. Send joke:

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Two old soldiers, Fred and Harry, are sitting in their club. Harry turns to Fred and says, ‘When was the last time you made love to a woman?’ Fred thinks for a moment then says, ‘1947.’ ‘Good heavens,’ says Harry. ‘That’s a very long time ago.’ ‘Not reall
Vote: has 34.74 % from 96 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: sex
My previous girlfriend had this weird sleeping disorder - in the middle of every night she would wake up and suck my dick. No wonder her dad did not want her to move out.
Vote: has 34.70 % from 38 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: black humor, dad, sex
My doctor examined my testicles for me and found two small lumps. Luckily it turned out they were my testicles.
Vote: has 34.57 % from 48 votes. Send joke:

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Randy Rachel has got a speech impediment – she can’t say no.
Vote: has 34.25 % from 36 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: sex
What’s the sex? The sex in a disease. You always get in bed because of it.
Vote: has 33.88 % from 54 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: health, sex
Q: What is the difference between anal sex and a microwave A: A microwave doesn't brown your meat.
Vote: has 33.74 % from 39 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: food, sex