The best sex jokes

"Hey, I have a magic dildo for sale," he says. "What? There's no such thing," she replied. "No seriously, if you don't believe me try it out in the bathroom. All you have to say is 'magic dildo my pussy.'" A bit skeptical she agrees and takes the dildo to the bathroom. A few minutes later she comes out. "Wow, that was great!" She says. She ends up buying the dildo and leaves the store. On the drive home she starts to feel a little frisky and figures why not try out the magic dildo. Well she's really enjoying herself. The car is swerving and she rolls through a red. She ends up getting pulled over by a cop. After she rolls down her window she tells him the whole story. She explains about the magic dildo and the shop. The cop says, "Magic dildo my ass."
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has 54.22 % from 139 votes. More jokes about: cop, dirty, gay, sex
Yo momma's clitoris is as long as my dick.
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has 54.20 % from 67 votes. More jokes about: dirty, sex, Yo mama
What should you do if your girlfriend starts smoking? Slow down. And possibly use a lubricant.
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has 54.18 % from 84 votes. More jokes about: sex
If you're under the age of 25 and you think your life sucks then you better brace yourself.... Life has only given you the TIP of its Dildo.
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has 54.13 % from 134 votes. More jokes about: age, life, sex
Q. How can you tell a head nurse? A. She's the one with the dirty knees!
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has 54.01 % from 74 votes. More jokes about: sex
Wife comes back from the doctor and says to her husband: Honey, I have a sad news - a gynecologist told me not have sex for a three weeks... Husband: And what the dentist said?
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has 53.82 % from 100 votes. More jokes about: sex
The fingers of my girlfriend were in my pants; I asked her "Is it thick?" She said "yes dear." Again I asked: "Is it warm?" She replied: "yes honey." Then I asked: "Is it soft?" She said, "yes of course." "It is my shit!" I told her.
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has 53.73 % from 170 votes. More jokes about: communication, dirty, disgusting, relationship, sex
Roses are red violets are blue. My dick has glue I offer it to you.
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has 53.67 % from 102 votes. More jokes about: dirty, flirt, poems, sex
A guy went to a supermarket and began to smoke. Miss salesman: "Sir don't smoke here." Guy: "I've just bought the cigarettes from here." Miss salesman: "We sell condoms too; so that is not why you fuck me here."
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has 53.63 % from 109 votes. More jokes about: customer service, mean, sex
I was married to a Gemini she caught me cheating on her with herself.
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has 53.62 % from 34 votes. More jokes about: marriage, sex
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