My sex life isn’t dead, but the buzzards are circling.
Men are like buses. One comes every 15 minutes.
Did you hear about the idiot who put ice in his condom? He wanted to keep the swelling down.
Q:What did the black girl say while having sex? A:Dad get off me your crushing my ciggs.
Two old ladies are discussing their dead husbands. ‘Tell me,’ says one. ‘Did you have mutual orgasms?’ ‘No,’ says the other. ‘I think we were with the Prudential.’
One day Pebbles Flintstone got scared and hopped in bed with Wilma and Fred. She looked under the covers on Wilma's side and asked what that was and Wilma said well Pebbles thas my rock. After that Pebbles looked on Fred's side and asked what that thing was down there and Fred replied thats my rock grinder. So Pebbles layed there for a few minutes then sat up and said so mommy puts her rock in daddy's rock grinder and out pops PEBBLES! ! ! !
how come blondes don't wear tampons? so their crabs don't go bungie jumping.
You know why Chuck Norris is always on top during sex? Because he never fucks up.
My girlfriend used to give amazing blow jobs, but lately they haven't been so great - they are starting to hurt me now since her baby teeth started growing in.
I’m a very giving lover – I give Green Shield Stamps.