If you're under the age of 25 and you think your life sucks then you better brace yourself....
Life has only given you the TIP of its Dildo.
‘During sex, my girlfriend always wants to talk to me.
Just the other night she called me from a hotel.’
Rodney Dangerfield
The sex was so good that even the neighbors had a cigarette.
A newly-wed couple didn’t know the difference between putty and Vaseline.
A week after the marriage all their windows fell out.
Which was the least of their worries.
A redneck family shares one vehicle, the daughter asks her dad for the truck.
The father says "okay, you know what to do."
Then continues to lower his pants, the daughter says "daddy why's there shit on your dick."
The father then replies "ohhhh, that's right honey, your brother has the truck."
Q: What's the difference between acne and a Roman Catholic Priest from the Vatican?
A: Acne would wait until you're at least 13 before it would cum on your face!
Apparently 98% of black people enjoy sex in the shower.
The other 2% have never been to prison.
Vote:
Two sperm are in the body looking for the egg when one of them starts to wonder why it is taking so long.
He asks the other sperm, "aren't we near the uterus yet?"
"No," replied the other sperm, "we haven't even gotten to the esophagus."
When Viagra first came out my wife and I decided to give it a go to see what all the fuss was about.
I popped the pill and waited the 15 minutes and then it was on for young and old.
We timed the performance to the minute and it all finally subsided at 3 hours and 17 minutes.
I asked the missus what she thought and she simply stated that she couldn't understand what all the hype was about for an extra 17 minutes...
Girl: "Do you believe in puppy love?"
Boy: "I tried it once, but their assholes are too small."