Q. What's the definition of a Yankee?
A. Same thing as a ''quickie'', only you do it yourself.
- "Didn't you read Lord of the Rings in high school"?
- "No, I had sex in high school."
What is the difference between a joystick and a man's d**k?
A joystick does its job.
Q. What's the difference between tampons and cowboy hats?
A. Cowboy hats are for ass holes.
What's a man's definition of a romantic evening?
Sex.
One day Pepito was having a shower with his father when he saw his fathers penis.
He asked his father what it was and his father replied "this is my racing car".
The next night Pepito heard moaning in his parents room, being curious he peeped in to see what was happening.
He then saw his father on top of his mother, while looking his father saw him and told him to go to his room.
"OK, but I'm not sure you're driving that racing car properly" replied Pepito.
A man goes to the doctor and says "I need birth control for my 10 year old daughter"
The doctor replies "She's 10 years old and sexually active?"
The man says" Active? Hell no! Most of the time se just lies there and cries."
Your mama is so stupid, when she lost her dildo she called the cops to look for it.
‘I was involved in an extremely good example of oral contraception two weeks ago.
I asked a girl to go to bed with me, and she said “No”.’ Woody Allen
Yo' Mama is so fat, you have to slap her thigh and ride the wave in to have sex with her.