The best sex jokes

A Lalu originally from Bihar now in USA went to India and brought a physiologically checked out virgin from a small happy town as wife. Ideal Lalu decided to have first night in USA. He prepared her, took their all clothes off and was ready to penetrate for intercourse and young bride stopped him. "What are you trying to do," she asked. Lalu explained the spousal sex. The bride said, "In that case try my back hole it will be lots of fun for you."
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Man, to woman, ‘Do you want sex?’ Woman, ‘Your place or mine?’ Man, ‘Well, if you’re going to argue. Forget it.’
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While making love, he says: Darling, let's do 68! 68??? What's that? You do it to me and I'll owe you one.
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Harry is better at sex than anyone he know. Now all he needs is a partner.
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The vicar never entertained lewd thoughts – they always entertained him.
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Three prisoners are locked in a cell. One takes out a harmonica and says, ‘At least I can play a little music and pass the time.’ The second prisoner pull out a pack of cards and says, ‘We can play games too.’ The third man pulls out a packet of tampons. ‘Those aren’t much use,’ says the first prisoner. ‘Yes they are,’ says the third prisoner. ‘On the packet it says we can use them to swim, play tennis and ski.’
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How can you tell if your girlfriend’s frigid? When you open her legs, the lights go on.
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How do you know when your cat’s finished cleaning himself? He’s smoking a cigarette.
Vote: has 40.24 % from 29 votes. Send joke:

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What’s the definition of a Yankee? Same thing as a ‘quickie’ but you do it yourself.
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How do you know if your wife wears tights in bed? Her toes curl up when you screw her.
Vote: has 39.98 % from 42 votes. Send joke:

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