The best sex jokes

Question: If you went to a party and woke up with a condom in your ass would you tell anyone? Answer: No! Response: Wanna go to a party?
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has 56.36 % from 31 votes. More jokes about: disgusting, party, sex
Do you like maths? If so add a bed subtract your clothes divide your legs and we can multiply!
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has 56.31 % from 91 votes. More jokes about: flirt, geek, math, sex
A woman gives birth to a baby, and afterwards, the doctor comes in and he says, "I have to tell you something about your baby." The woman sits up in bed and says, "What's wrong with my baby doctor? What's wrong?" The doctor says, "Well, now, nothing's wrong, exactly, but your baby is a little bit different. Your baby is a hermaphrodite." The woman is confused. "A hermaphrodite..... what's that?" The doctor replies, "Well, it means your baby has the.......er......features....of a male and a female." The woman turns pale. She says, "Oh MY GOD! you mean it has a penis..... AND a brain.
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has 56.27 % from 727 votes. More jokes about: baby, sex, women
Two sperms. The first one asked the second "How much time we need to reach the womb?" The second one answered "To much time left... We are in the stomach now."
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has 56.22 % from 47 votes. More jokes about: dirty, disgusting, sex, time
An elderly couple met for a romp in the broom closet at the nursing home. They undressed and were about to screw, The woman decided to warn the man of her heart condition. "I should tell you, I have acute angina" she said. The man replied, "thats good because you have the ugliest breasts I ever seen!"
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has 56.08 % from 123 votes. More jokes about: sex
The young fellow is about to marry and asks his grandfather how often a married couple should have sex. His grandfather tells him, "When you first get married, you want it all the time, maybe several times a day; later on, maybe once a week. As you get older, you have sex maybe once a month. When you get really old, you are lucky to have it once a year, maybe on your anniversary." The young fellow asks, "How about you and Grandma?" His grandfather replies, "Oh, we just have oral sex now. She goes into her bedroom and I go into my bedroom. She yells, 'F**k you,' and I holler back, 'F**k you, too!'"
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has 56.08 % from 123 votes. More jokes about: age, marriage, sex
Q: How does an English man know that his wife has died? A: Sex is still the same but the dishes are stacked in the sink.
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has 56.06 % from 65 votes. More jokes about: death, sex, wife
Yo momma's clitoris is as long as my dick.
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has 56.06 % from 65 votes. More jokes about: dirty, sex, Yo mama
Two men were talking: First : "Can U put the word 'penis' in a sentence?" Second: "Yo mama's pussy."
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has 56.06 % from 108 votes. More jokes about: communication, dirty, sex, vulgar, Yo mama
One night a man and woman went to his house to have sex when he stopped her to say "I still live with my parents and me and my brother share bunk beds so if you want to change positions say "lettuce" and if you want to go faster say "tomatos" So they were getting it on and she was screaming "lettuce, lettuce, tomatos, lettuce, tomatos, tomatos" Suddenly the younger brother (on the bottom bunk) said "Could you stop making sandwiches your getting mayonase on me"!
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has 55.87 % from 85 votes. More jokes about: dirty, food, sex
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