The best sex jokes

A ship with 30 sailors and one woman strands on a desert island. After one month the woman says: "I can not proceed in this way." And she suicides herself. After another month, the sailors say: "We can not proceed in this way." And they bury the woman. The next month, the sailors say: "We can not proceed in this way." And they dig up the woman.
Vote:
has 56.22 % from 195 votes. More jokes about: black humor, desert island, morbid, navy, sex
A woman went to the doctor's and complained of being really sore. "Do you have any idea why?" "Well, I had sex with an elephant!" "You did? But elephants are known to have small penises!" "Yeah, but he fingered me first."
Vote:
has 56.20 % from 39 votes. More jokes about: animal, doctor, elephant, sex
Once while having s*x in a tractor-trailer, part of Chuck Norris' sperm escaped and ran into the engine. We now know this truck....as Optimus Prime.
Vote:
has 56.13 % from 83 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, sex
A woman gives birth to a baby, and afterwards, the doctor comes in and he says, "I have to tell you something about your baby." The woman sits up in bed and says, "What's wrong with my baby doctor? What's wrong?" The doctor says, "Well, now, nothing's wrong, exactly, but your baby is a little bit different. Your baby is a hermaphrodite." The woman is confused. "A hermaphrodite..... what's that?" The doctor replies, "Well, it means your baby has the.......er......features....of a male and a female." The woman turns pale. She says, "Oh MY GOD! you mean it has a penis..... AND a brain.
Vote:
has 56.09 % from 731 votes. More jokes about: baby, sex, women
Q: How does an English man know that his wife has died? A: Sex is still the same but the dishes are stacked in the sink.
Vote:
has 56.06 % from 65 votes. More jokes about: death, sex, wife
Two men were talking: First : "Can U put the word 'penis' in a sentence?" Second: "Yo mama's pussy."
Vote:
has 56.06 % from 108 votes. More jokes about: communication, dirty, sex, vulgar, Yo mama
What is that insensitive bit at the base of the penis called? The man.
Vote:
has 56.05 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: men, sex
One night a man and woman went to his house to have sex when he stopped her to say "I still live with my parents and me and my brother share bunk beds so if you want to change positions say "lettuce" and if you want to go faster say "tomatos" So they were getting it on and she was screaming "lettuce, lettuce, tomatos, lettuce, tomatos, tomatos" Suddenly the younger brother (on the bottom bunk) said "Could you stop making sandwiches your getting mayonase on me"!
Vote:
has 55.87 % from 85 votes. More jokes about: dirty, food, sex
Viagra is like Disneyland; a one hour wait for a 2-minute ride.
Vote:
has 55.78 % from 62 votes. More jokes about: sex, time, viagra
Q: What do you call Bin Laden when he lost his virginity? A: Osama Bin Laiden.
Vote:
has 55.78 % from 62 votes. More jokes about: communication, dirty, religious, sex
<<<59606162
More jokes →
Page 59 of 88.