A redneck family shares one vehicle, the daughter asks her dad for the truck. The father says "okay, you know what to do." Then continues to lower his pants, the daughter says "daddy why's there shit on your dick." The father then replies "ohhhh, that's right honey, your brother has the truck."
Q: Whats the definition of vagina? A: The box a penis comes in.
Peter approaches the gates of Heaven. "Knock knock," says Peter. Miraculously, someone answers him. "Who's there," a voice in the distance asked. "God," says Peter. "God who," asked the voice? "GOD DAMMIT open these gates! I've been a good neighbor, loved my wife and lost my virginity, twice!"
Q: What's the difference between basketball and sex? A: In basketball you dribble before you shoot!
There is nothing wrong with sex on TV – as long as you don’t fall off.
My girlfriend always laughs during sex – no matter what she’s reading.
I'm like Domino's Pizza. If I don't come in 30 minutes, the next one is free.
I hope you're into yoga, cause you're going to get a good stretch tonight.
What should you do if your girlfriend starts smoking? Slow down. And possibly use a lubricant.
Apparently 98% of black people enjoy sex in the shower. The other 2% have never been to prison.