The fingers of my girlfriend were in my pants; I asked her "Is it thick?" She said "yes dear." Again I asked: "Is it warm?" She replied: "yes honey." Then I asked: "Is it soft?" She said, "yes of course." "It is my shit!" I told her.
How does a girl from Harlem practice safe sex? She locks the car doors.
There is nothing wrong with sex on TV – as long as you don’t fall off.
My girlfriend always laughs during sex – no matter what she’s reading.
Roses are red violets are blue. My dick has glue I offer it to you.
If you're under the age of 25 and you think your life sucks then you better brace yourself.... Life has only given you the TIP of its Dildo.
Yo momma's clitoris is as long as my dick.
There are an older brother and a younger sister. The sister went to the bathroom while the brother was in the bathroom. The sister asks the brother if she could play with his dick and he says yeah. A few weeks later there was a big storm and the sister goes to the brother's room and asked the brother if she could play with Mr.Cuddles he says no. Then the sister said that she would tell on him so a little pissed of he says yes. After a while, the parents hear a scream. They rush to the brother's room and asks the sister what happened she said "Mr.Cuddles spat on me so I bit his head off."
What should you do if your girlfriend starts smoking? Slow down. And possibly use a lubricant.
How did Pinocchio find out he was made of wood? When his hand caught fire.