I'm like Domino's Pizza. If I don't come in 30 minutes, the next one is free.
I hope you're into yoga, cause you're going to get a good stretch tonight.
A redneck family shares one vehicle, the daughter asks her dad for the truck. The father says "okay, you know what to do." Then continues to lower his pants, the daughter says "daddy why's there shit on your dick." The father then replies "ohhhh, that's right honey, your brother has the truck."
Q: What's the difference between basketball and sex? A: In basketball you dribble before you shoot!
Wife comes back from the doctor and says to her husband: Honey, I have a sad news - a gynecologist told me not have sex for a three weeks... Husband: And what the dentist said?
Q. How can you tell a head nurse? A. She's the one with the dirty knees!
‘During sex, my girlfriend always wants to talk to me. Just the other night she called me from a hotel.’ Rodney Dangerfield
Q: Whats the definition of vagina? A: The box a penis comes in.
Question: If you went to a party and woke up with a condom in your ass would you tell anyone? Answer: No! Response: Wanna go to a party?
Viagra is like Disneyland; a one hour wait for a 2-minute ride.