The teacher had given the class an assignment. He stressed the importance of this particular assignment, and that no excuses would be accepted except illness or a death in the immediate family. A smart-ass student pipes up: "What about extreme sexual exhaustion, sir?" The class breaks up laughing, and when they settle down the teacher responds with: "Well, I guess you'll have to learn to write with your other hand."
What’s the difference between erotic and kinky? Erotic is using a feather. Kinky is using the whole chicken.
Yo' Mama is so fat, after sex, she smokes a turkey.
She’s got her very own method of birth control. She takes her make-up off.
The chicken and the egg are laying in bed. The chicken is smoking a cigarette with a satisfied smile on its face while the egg is frowning and looking slightly annoyed. The egg mutters "Well I guess that answers that riddle".
Small boy to friend: ‘What would you do if a girl kissed you?’ Friend: ‘I’d kiss her back. What would you do?’ Small boy: ‘I’d kiss her front.’
How did Pinocchio find out he was made of wood? When his hand caught fire.
An evening of Valentine's Day. A man comes to a drug store: "Good evening!" "Sorry, we are sold out..."
A young couple get between the sheets for the first time. In a flash it’s over. The boy says, ‘If I’d known you were a virgin I’d have taken more time.’ His girlfriend replies, ‘If I’d known you were going to take more time I’d have taken off my tights.’
Q: How do you know a gay guy has farted? A: He needs to change his pants afterward.