Yo' Mama is so skanky, her idea of safe sex is to lock the car doors.
A newly-wed couple didn’t know the difference between putty and Vaseline.
A week after the marriage all their windows fell out.
Which was the least of their worries.
Happy Father's Day to the top three most likely candidates.
‘During sex, my girlfriend always wants to talk to me.
Just the other night she called me from a hotel.’
Rodney Dangerfield
There is nothing wrong with sex on TV – as long as you don’t fall off.
Why pay $5 at Subway when you can get this footlong for free?
Want to make a porno?
We don't have to tape it.
Once while having s*x in a tractor-trailer, part of Chuck Norris' sperm escaped and ran into the engine.
We now know this truck....as Optimus Prime.
Vote:
"Hey, I have a magic dildo for sale," he says.
"What? There's no such thing," she replied.
"No seriously, if you don't believe me try it out in the bathroom. All you have to say is 'magic dildo my pussy.'"
A bit skeptical she agrees and takes the dildo to the bathroom.
A few minutes later she comes out.
"Wow, that was great!" She says.
She ends up buying the dildo and leaves the store.
On the drive home she starts to feel a little frisky and figures why not try out the magic dildo.
Well she's really enjoying herself.
The car is swerving and she rolls through a red.
She ends up getting pulled over by a cop.
After she rolls down her window she tells him the whole story.
She explains about the magic dildo and the shop.
The cop says, "Magic dildo my ass."
Yo momma's clitoris is as long as my dick.