Yo mama is so stupid, she did her dad last night.
Q:What's the worst thing your wife can say during sex?
A:Honey I'm home.
Man, to woman, ‘Do you want sex?’
Woman, ‘Your place or mine?’
Man, ‘Well, if you’re going to argue.
Forget it.’
While making love, he says: Darling, let's do 68!
68???
What's that?
You do it to me and I'll owe you one.
Harry is better at sex than anyone he know.
Now all he needs is a partner.
The vicar never entertained lewd thoughts – they always entertained him.
Three prisoners are locked in a cell.
One takes out a harmonica and says, ‘At least I can play a little music and pass the time.’
The second prisoner pull out a pack of cards and says, ‘We can play games too.’
The third man pulls out a packet of tampons.
‘Those aren’t much use,’ says the first prisoner.
‘Yes they are,’ says the third prisoner.
‘On the packet it says we can use them to swim, play tennis and ski.’
How can you tell if your girlfriend’s frigid?
When you open her legs, the lights go on.
How do you know when your cat’s finished cleaning himself?
He’s smoking a cigarette.
What’s the definition of a Yankee?
Same thing as a ‘quickie’ but you do it yourself.