If you're under the age of 25 and you think your life sucks then you better brace yourself....
Life has only given you the TIP of its Dildo.
A newly-wed couple didn’t know the difference between putty and Vaseline.
A week after the marriage all their windows fell out.
Which was the least of their worries.
Happy Father's Day to the top three most likely candidates.
Yo mama so fat when you have sex with her you have to slap her stomach and ride the wave in.
Wife comes back from the doctor and says to her husband:
Honey, I have a sad news - a gynecologist told me not have sex for a three weeks...
Husband:
And what the dentist said?
Let's not mess with nature.
We are here to make babies.
So, let's get to it.
When Viagra first came out my wife and I decided to give it a go to see what all the fuss was about.
I popped the pill and waited the 15 minutes and then it was on for young and old.
We timed the performance to the minute and it all finally subsided at 3 hours and 17 minutes.
I asked the missus what she thought and she simply stated that she couldn't understand what all the hype was about for an extra 17 minutes...
Two Rabbits are running from a group of foxes.
They hide in a pile of hay, one rabbit says to the other one "Ok we can run for it or we can stay here and out number them."
And the other rabbit says, "We're going to run for it you idiot I'm your brother."
Two sperm are in the body looking for the egg when one of them starts to wonder why it is taking so long.
He asks the other sperm, "aren't we near the uterus yet?"
"No," replied the other sperm, "we haven't even gotten to the esophagus."
What should you do if your girlfriend starts smoking?
Slow down. And possibly use a lubricant.