The best sex jokes

A priest took a beautiful girl in his bedroom. He put a Bible on the bed and asked the girl to lie on the bed. When the priest tried to have sex with her, the girl shouted: "Father, what are you doing?" The priest replied "Calm down my child. Holy Bible under you, Holy Father above you and Holy water passing through."
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has 32.47 % from 43 votes. More jokes about: bible, dirty, priest, religious, sex
A teenage boy overdosed on ten bottles of Viagra. Not only is he lucky to be alive, he’s lucky not to have taken his eye out.
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has 32.13 % from 73 votes. More jokes about: life, sex, teen, viagra
Q. Why do women stop bleeding when entering the menopause ? A. Because they need all the blood for their varicose veins!
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has 32.05 % from 65 votes. More jokes about: sex
10 things men don't say 1)Let's watch Lifetime. 2)Sex is overrated. 3)I don't want to go too far on the first date. 4)Yes, your sister does have bigger breasts than you. 5)Don't we owe your mother a visit? 6)I'm relieved I don't have a large penis weighing me down. 7)Dessert goes right to my hips. 8)I hate when I miss Oprah. 9)Does this suit make me look fat? 10)I'll never get tired of listening to Dido.
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has 31.97 % from 57 votes. More jokes about: men, mother in law, music, sex
What’s the sex? The sex in a disease. You always get in bed because of it.
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has 31.91 % from 68 votes. More jokes about: health, sex
She was hungry for love and didn’t know where her next male was coming from.
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has 31.86 % from 93 votes. More jokes about: sex
A ship with 30 sailors and one woman strands on a desert island. After one month the woman says: "I can not proceed in this way." And she suicides herself. After another month, the sailors say: "We can not proceed in this way." And they bury the woman. The next month, the sailors say: "We can not proceed in this way." And they dig up the woman.
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has 30.85 % from 93 votes. More jokes about: black humor, desert island, morbid, sex
Q. Why don't women blink during foreplay? A. They don't have time.
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has 30.41 % from 32 votes. More jokes about: men, sex, time, women
Chuck Norris can't have children, because his dick wouldn't fit.
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has 29.97 % from 52 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, dirty, kids, sex
Did you hear about the idiot who put ice in his condom? He wanted to keep the swelling down.
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has 29.18 % from 89 votes. More jokes about: sex
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