Chuck Norris can make love to a girl so hard and fast it inspired a reality tv series. We know it as Forged in the fire.
A priest took a beautiful girl in his bedroom. He put a Bible on the bed and asked the girl to lie on the bed. When the priest tried to have sex with her, the girl shouted: "Father, what are you doing?" The priest replied "Calm down my child. Holy Bible under you, Holy Father above you and Holy water passing through."
Q. Why do women stop bleeding when entering the menopause ? A. Because they need all the blood for their varicose veins!
10 things men don't say 1)Let's watch Lifetime. 2)Sex is overrated. 3)I don't want to go too far on the first date. 4)Yes, your sister does have bigger breasts than you. 5)Don't we owe your mother a visit? 6)I'm relieved I don't have a large penis weighing me down. 7)Dessert goes right to my hips. 8)I hate when I miss Oprah. 9)Does this suit make me look fat? 10)I'll never get tired of listening to Dido.
What’s the sex? The sex in a disease. You always get in bed because of it.
She was hungry for love and didn’t know where her next male was coming from.
A ship with 30 sailors and one woman strands on a desert island. After one month the woman says: "I can not proceed in this way." And she suicides herself. After another month, the sailors say: "We can not proceed in this way." And they bury the woman. The next month, the sailors say: "We can not proceed in this way." And they dig up the woman.
Q. Why don't women blink during foreplay? A. They don't have time.
Chuck Norris can't have children, because his dick wouldn't fit.
Did you hear about the idiot who put ice in his condom? He wanted to keep the swelling down.