Two old ladies are discussing their dead husbands. ‘Tell me,’ says one. ‘Did you have mutual orgasms?’ ‘No,’ says the other. ‘I think we were with the Prudential.’
Q: What's the difference between jelly and jam? A: I can't jelly my dick a baby's throat.
My girlfriend used to give amazing blow jobs, but lately they haven't been so great - they are starting to hurt me now since her baby teeth started growing in.
I haven’t been the same since my testicles dropped. Mind you, I was hanging from a tree by them at the time.
I’m a very giving lover – I give Green Shield Stamps.
Kock, Knock Who is there? Suck, suck. Suck, suck who? After a long pause with a low voice: My dick; dear!
John Leslie has been accused of raping a disabled black girl on Blue Peter. He blamed it on dyslexia & said he thought the script said, use sticky black spastic.
Q:What did the black girl say while having sex? A:Dad get off me your crushing my ciggs.
What is special about a dead baby over all other forms of life? You can achieve deep throat from whichever way you enter.
Two bums are sitting talking. The first one starts bragging, "Today was the best day ever! This morning I found a brand new pack of smokes just sitting on the ground. So you know what I did? I sat and smoked every fucking one of them... had the best day ever." The second bum just laughs, "That's nothing, today I was walking along the rail road tracks and I found this girl laying on the tracks. You know what I did? I fucked her all day long." The other bum interrupts, "Bull! You didn't do it all day long did you?", the other continues, "Well, no but it was for at least a few good hours, best day of my life." The first bums asks, "So did she give you a good blowjob?" The other replies no. "How could you possibly be getting busy with this girl for hours, and she doesn't even give you a blow job?" To which the other replies, "How could she? She didn't have a head!"