Chuck Norris is the only person that can stab you with a basketball- Brandon De La Riva.
What are the most athletic rodents? Track and field mice.
So I heard the reason Usain Bolt is so fast is because his offseason training consists of going back home and hitting on dudes.
Rocky Balboa was a lucky man because Chuck Norris didn't pursue a boxing carreer.
A woman goes into a sporting goods store to buy a rifle. "It`s for my husband," she tells the clerk. "Did he tell you what gauge to get?" asked the clerk. "Are you kidding?" she says. "He doesn`t even know that I`m going to shoot him!"
Q:Why is basketball the grossest sport there is? A:Because they dribble all over the court.
Q:What is the difference between Tiger Woods and Santa Claus? A:Santa stops after three hos.
Using only a black king, Chuck Norris defeated the world-champion grand-master in chess.
A sailor and a priest were playing golf. The sailor took his first shot missed and said, "F**k, I missed." Surprised, the priest replied, "Don’t use that kind of language or god will punish you." The sailor took aim and hit his shot second shot. Again he missed and under his breath the said, "I f**k’n missed again." The priest overheard and replied, "My son, please don’t use that language or god will punish you." The sailor took his third shot and once again he couldn’t help mutter, "Oh f**k" The priest said, "That’s it god will certainly punish you." Suddenly a bolt of lightning came down and killed the priest. In the distance a deep voice said, "F**K, I Missed."
Q: Why did the bodybuilder cross the road? A: He didn't. There's no walking on leg day.