Two guys on a double bike where pedaling up a hill. It took forever to get to the top. When they finally got to the top the first guy said in a pant, "Whew, that was so hard." The second replied, "If I hadn't been pushing the brakes the whole time we would have rolled down backwards."
My yoga instructor says I need to work on my breathing. But I mean, 41 years, still alive. I kinda got it.
Did you hear about the blonde who after watching the ballerinas, wondered why they didn't get taller girls?
Q. What do you call 300 white men chasing a black man? A. The PGA tour
Golfer: "I'd move heaven & earth to break 100 on this course." Caddy: "Try heaven; you've already moved most of the earth."
Bill and Earl are out playing golf. They get to the 17th tee, which overlooks a small lake, and see two guys out on the lake fishing. Bill says, "Hey Earl check out these two idiots fishing' in the rain!"
Q:Why don't hockey players drink tea? A:Because the Canadiens and Red Wings have all the cups.
What are the most athletic rodents? Track and field mice.
Q: What is better than winning a medal at the Para-olympics? A: Having two legs.
Did you hear the NFL is changing the color off the football to green? Yeah, you ever hear of a black person droping a watermelon?