Q: How is the Easter Bunny like Michael Jordan? ´ A: They're both famous for stuffing baskets!
Two guys on a double bike where pedaling up a hill. It took forever to get to the top. When they finally got to the top the first guy said in a pant, "Whew, that was so hard." The second replied, "If I hadn't been pushing the brakes the whole time we would have rolled down backwards."
My yoga instructor says I need to work on my breathing. But I mean, 41 years, still alive. I kinda got it.
Golfer: "I'd move heaven & earth to break 100 on this course." Caddy: "Try heaven; you've already moved most of the earth."
There was a Packers fan with a really crappy seat at Lambeau. Looking with his binoculars, he spotted an empty seat on the 50-yard line. Thinking to himself "what a waste" he made his way down to the empty seat. When he arrived at the seat, he asked the man sitting next to it, "Is this seat taken?" The man replied, "This was my wife's seat. She passed away. She was a big Packers fan." The other man replied,"I'm so sorry to hear of your loss. May I ask why you didn't give the ticket to a friend or a relative?" The man replied, "They're all at the funeral."
Q. What do you call 300 white men chasing a black man? A. The PGA tour
Q:Why don't hockey players drink tea? A:Because the Canadiens and Red Wings have all the cups.
What are the most athletic rodents? Track and field mice.
Q: What is better than winning a medal at the Para-olympics? A: Having two legs.
Chuck Norris holds the world record for most push ups done in a hour, the number is all of them.