Question: What should a man do if his wife runs into the room during a baseball match and keeps disturbing you? Answer: Shorten the chain.
Q: How do you know when it's bedtime at Michael Jackson's house? A: The big hand touches the little one.
Q: Why do goalkeepers spend ages on the Internet? A: Because they can't stop saving their work.
Played a round of golf with the local course pro for some helpful tips. After playing the first hole I turned to him for some advice and all he said was "loft". So after the next 4 holes I asked him again and all he said was "loft" Now we're done with the round and I asked him why after each hole all he would ever tell me was "loft"? To which the pro relies "loft" - "Lack Of F*cking Talent"
Q: What's the difference between an NFL player and an elevator? A: The elevator can raise a child.
Q: How is the Easter Bunny like Michael Jordan? ´ A: They're both famous for stuffing baskets!
My yoga instructor says I need to work on my breathing. But I mean, 41 years, still alive. I kinda got it.
Did you hear about the blonde who after watching the ballerinas, wondered why they didn't get taller girls?
Two guys on a double bike where pedaling up a hill. It took forever to get to the top. When they finally got to the top the first guy said in a pant, "Whew, that was so hard." The second replied, "If I hadn't been pushing the brakes the whole time we would have rolled down backwards."
Q. What do you call 300 white men chasing a black man? A. The PGA tour