The best sport jokes

A couple of years ago the english national team was about to start training in preparation for an important qualifying match when the manager at the time, Sven-Goran Eriksson, discovered a big turd in one of the penalty areas on the practice pitch. Ok boys, he said, who's shit on the ground? Emile Heskey replied: "Me coach, but I'm good in the air!"
Vote:
has 61.89 % from 33 votes. More jokes about: soccer, sport
Q: What's the difference between a bad golfer and a bad skydiver? A: A bad golfer goes *Whack!* "Darn!", but a bad skydiver goes "Darn!" *WHACK!*
Vote:
has 61.87 % from 117 votes. More jokes about: golf, sport
One recent Sunday, a young boy arrived to his Sunday school class late. His teacher knew that the boy was usually very prompt and asked him if anything was wrong. The boy replied no, that he was going to go fishing, but that his dad told him that he needed to go to church instead. The teacher was very impressed and asked the boy if his father had explained to him why it was more important to go to church rather than to go fishing. To which the boy replied, "Yes, ma'am, he did. My dad said that he didn't have enough bait for both of us."
Vote:
has 61.43 % from 45 votes. More jokes about: church, dad, fish, school, sport
Chuck Norris can bungee jump with out a rope.
Vote:
has 61.38 % from 66 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, sport
Q: What do you get when you combine a Starbucks and Yoga class? A: I don't know, but there's probably a hipster close by.
Vote:
has 61.28 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: hipster, sport
A guy about to tee off was approached by a man who held out a card that read, "I am a deaf mute. May I please play through?" The first man gave the card back, angrily shaking his head, and saying, "No, you CANNOT play through." He assumed the guy read lips so he mouthed, "I can't believe you would try to use your handicap to your own advantage like that! Shame on you!" The deaf man walked away and the first man whacked the ball onto the green and then walked off to finish the hole. Just as he was about to put the ball into the hole he was hit in the head with a golf ball that knocked him out cold. When he came to a few minutes later, he looked around and saw the deaf mute sternly looking at him, one hand on his hip, the other hand holding up four fingers.
Vote:
has 61.28 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: sport
There was a Packers fan with a really crappy seat at Lambeau. Looking with his binoculars, he spotted an empty seat on the 50-yard line. Thinking to himself "what a waste" he made his way down to the empty seat. When he arrived at the seat, he asked the man sitting next to it, "Is this seat taken?" The man replied, "This was my wife's seat. She passed away. She was a big Packers fan." The other man replied,"I'm so sorry to hear of your loss. May I ask why you didn't give the ticket to a friend or a relative?" The man replied, "They're all at the funeral."
Vote:
has 61.01 % from 29 votes. More jokes about: funeral, sport, wife
PE Teacher: "Why did you kick that ball straight at the school computer?" Pupil: "You told me to put it on the Net."
Vote:
has 61.01 % from 29 votes. More jokes about: computer, internet, sport, student, teacher
My yoga instructor says I need to work on my breathing. But I mean, 41 years, still alive. I kinda got it.
Vote:
has 60.75 % from 35 votes. More jokes about: age, life, sport
Yo mamma so small she uses a Dorito for a hang lider.
Vote:
has 60.73 % from 56 votes. More jokes about: food, sport, Yo mama
<<<13141516
More jokes →
Page 13 of 45.