The best sport jokes

The All Blacks were playing England, and after the half-time whistle blew they found themselves ahead 50-0, Jonah Lomu getting eight tries. The rest of the team decided to head for the pub instead of playing the second half, leaving Jonah to go out on his own. "No worries," Jonah told them, "I'll join you later and tell you what happened." After the game Jonah headed for the pub where he told his teammates the final score: 95-3. "What!!!!" said a furious Josh Kronfeld, "How did you let them get three points??!" Jonah replied apologetically, "I was sent off with 20 minutes to go."
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has 61.71 % from 36 votes. More jokes about: sport
Q: What did the basketball say to the player? A: Please don't shoot me.
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has 61.63 % from 23 votes. More jokes about: communication, sport
Yo'Mama is so stupid, she threw a baseball at Batman.
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has 61.59 % from 39 votes. More jokes about: celebrity, sport, stupid, Yo mama
I wish this gym had a stationary bike built for two.
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has 61.50 % from 42 votes. More jokes about: fitness, flirt, gym, sport
A woman goes into a sporting goods store to buy a rifle. "It`s for my husband," she tells the clerk. "Did he tell you what gauge to get?" asked the clerk. "Are you kidding?" she says. "He doesn`t even know that I`m going to shoot him!"
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has 61.43 % from 72 votes. More jokes about: sport
Q: What do you get when you combine a Starbucks and Yoga class? A: I don't know, but there's probably a hipster close by.
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has 61.28 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: hipster, sport
Joe loved golf, but his eyesight had gotten so bad, that he couldn't find his ball once he'd hit it. He consulted with his wife, and she recommended that Joe bring along her uncle Ted. Joe said, "But Ted is 80 years old and half senile!" His wife replied, "Yes, but his eyesight is incredible." Joe finally agreed and took Ted along. He teed off and could feel that he had hit it solidly. He asked Ted, "Do you see it?" Ted nodded his head and said, "Boy, that was a beautiful shot!" Joe excitedly asked, "Well, where did it land?!" Ted said, "Hmmm. I forget."
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has 61.25 % from 26 votes. More jokes about: age, golf, sport, wife
PE Teacher: "Why did you kick that ball straight at the school computer?" Pupil: "You told me to put it on the Net."
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has 61.01 % from 29 votes. More jokes about: computer, internet, sport, student, teacher
Q: What do you get if you cross a dirty politician with a filthy womanizer? A: Chelsea.
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has 60.97 % from 74 votes. More jokes about: dirty, men, political, soccer, sport
A man walks into a bar with a dog. The bartender says, "You can't bring that dog in here." "You don't understand," says the man. "This is no regular dog, he can talk." "Listen, pal," says the bartender. "If that dog can talk, I'll give you a hundred bucks. "The man puts the dog on a stool, and asks him, "What's on top of a house?" "Roof!" "Right. And what's on the outside of a tree?" "Bark!" "And who's the greatest baseball player of all time?" "Ruth!" "I guess you've heard enough," says the man. "I'll take the hundred in twenties." The bartender is furious. "Listen, pal," he says, "get out of here before I belt you." As soon as they're on the street, the dog turns to the man and says, "Do you think I should have said 'DiMaggio'?"
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has 60.73 % from 56 votes. More jokes about: animal, bar, bartender, sport
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