Yo' mama so stupid, she walked into an antique shop and asked, "What's new?"
Yo mama so stupid, she thought Ewoks were just Homeless Care Bears on drugs.
Yo mama so fat the only liquor she knows is liquorice.
A woman comes up to me and says, "Hey sexy you lost 185 lbs and now you have money." "You wanna be my sugar daddy?" "Nope I'm diabetic!"
A blonde went to the eletronic store and she asked, "How is much is this TV?" The salesman said, "Sorry, we don"t sell to blondes." The next day she came back as a brunette. She asked the salesman how much the TV was. He said, "Sorry, we don"t sell to blondes." The next day she came back as a red head and asked the salesman how much the TV was. He said, "Sorry we don"t sell to blondes." She replied, " I came in here as a brunette and a red head. How do you know I am a blonde?" "Because that is not a TV, it's a microwave."
So a dude turns to the guy next to him at a bar and asks, "Hey, you wanna hear a redneck story?" The guy says, "Buddy, I'm six feet, 210 pounds, an' ma name's Billy Joe. You see the guy on the other side of you? That there's Bubba. He's 225 pounds of solid muscle and he's a redneck. And the boy next to him? Mike's a trucker who weighs 295 and he's a redneck, too. Now, do you still want to tell your redneck story?" The fella says, "Naw, you're right... I'd hate to have to explain it three times!"
Yo Momma's so stupid that she burned down the house with a CD burner.
NOTE: This joke is only for those who recently had a brain transplant. DO NOT read ahead unless you don't mind being offended. You're still reading this, aren't you, asshole?
Chuck Norris never has a deja vu. No scene would be that stupid to appear in front of the man twice.
In some quarters, bookstores may be considered dinosaurs, but odd customers are evergreen, as these requests to bookstore clerks prove. "Can you tell me who the author of Shakespeare is?" "I'm looking for a book, but I only know the title, not the author. It's called Dante's Inferno." "I definitely don't want nonfiction. I like autobiographies and history." "Do you have Shakespeare in English?"