The best stupid jokes

A man speaks frantically into the phone, "My wife is pregnant, and her contractions are only two minutes apart!" "Is this her first child?" the doctor queries. "No, you idiot!" the man shouts. "This is her husband!"
Vote:
has 80.25 % from 74 votes. More jokes about: baby, doctor, husband, phone, stupid
A redneck calls up the White House and tells the receptionist: "I'd like to become the next President of the United States." The receptionist: "What are you, an idiot?" Redneck: "Why, is it required?"
Vote:
has 80.22 % from 221 votes. More jokes about: geography, phone, political, redneck, stupid
On the Internet you can be anything you want. It's so strange that many people choose to be stupid.
Vote:
has 80.15 % from 254 votes. More jokes about: internet, life, stupid
yo momas so stupid when theives broke into her house and stole the TV she chased after them shouting ''wait you forgot the remote''.
Vote:
has 80.06 % from 2973 votes. More jokes about: insulting, stupid, technology, Yo mama
I gave up my seat to a blind person in the bus. That is how I lost my job as a bus driver.
Vote:
has 79.97 % from 115 votes. More jokes about: driving, health, stupid, work
The only qualification for working at an airline is making a confused face at a monitor.
Vote:
has 79.93 % from 91 votes. More jokes about: insulting, stupid, travel, work
Two Generals were preparing for battle. The first General calls his aide and says "Bring me my red uniform!" The other General asks why he would wear a red uniform. The first General explains that if he gets wounded then his soldiers won't see the blood and lose their courage. The other General thinks about this, then calls to his aide "Bring me my brown uniform!"
Vote:
has 79.50 % from 213 votes. More jokes about: dirty, health, military, stupid, war
In a shop for kids. Peter selects a toy car, comes to the cash desk and gives the cashier money-cards from Monopoly game. The cashier: - Are you stupid? This isn't real money! Peter: - You're stupid. The car is not real either.
Vote:
has 79.05 % from 1493 votes. More jokes about: car, kids, money, stupid
Q: What do you get when you give a blonde a penny for her thoughts? A: Change.
Vote:
has 78.85 % from 57 votes. More jokes about: blonde, money, stupid
The barbershop was crowded, so the woman at the cash register offered to put my name on the waiting list. "What is it?" she asked. "Stephen, with a P-H," I said. Minutes later, a chair opened up, and my name was called: "Pheven?"
Vote:
has 78.34 % from 106 votes. More jokes about: communication, customer service, stupid
<<<3456
More jokes →
Page 3 of 38.