The best stupid jokes

An airplane was about to crash. There were 4 passengers on board but only 3 parachutes. The 1st passenger said, "I am Stephen King , the best selling author of my time... My millions of fans need me , and i can't afford to die." So he took the 1st pack and left the planernThe 2nd passenger , Barack Hussein Obama, said , "I am the 44th President of the United States, and I am the smartest President in American history , so my people don't want me to die." He took the 2nd pack and jumped out of the plane.rnThe 3rd passenger, the Pope, said to the 4th passenger, a 10 year old schoolboy, "My son , I am old and don't have many years left, you have more years ahead so I will sacrifice my life and let you have the last parachute." The little boy said , "That's okay , Your Holiness, there's a parachute left for you. America's smartest President took my schoolbag."
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has 78.66 % from 241 votes. More jokes about: celebrity, death, money, stupid, time
Yo momma is so stupid she stared at an orange juice container for 2 hours because it said concentrate.
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has 78.61 % from 1242 votes. More jokes about: food, stupid, Yo mama
A woman called our airline customer-service desk asking if she could take her dog on board. "Sure," I said, "as long as you provide your own kennel." I further explained that the kennel needed to be large enough for the dog to stand up, sit down, turn around, and roll over. The customer was flummoxed: "I'll never be able to teach him all of that by tomorrow!"
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has 78.55 % from 62 votes. More jokes about: airplane, communication, customer service, dog, stupid
A man speaks frantically into the phone, "My wife is pregnant, and her contractions are only two minutes apart!" "Is this her first child?" the doctor queries. "No, you idiot!" the man shouts. "This is her husband!"
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has 78.55 % from 62 votes. More jokes about: baby, doctor, husband, phone, stupid
Yo mama is so stupid that she bought curtains for her computer just because it had Windows.
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has 78.18 % from 266 votes. More jokes about: IT, stupid, Yo mama
Q: What do you get when you give a blonde a penny for her thoughts? A: Change.
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has 78.01 % from 43 votes. More jokes about: blonde, money, stupid
Yo Momma so stupid, she thought seaweed is something fish smoke.
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has 77.96 % from 790 votes. More jokes about: fish, stupid, weed, Yo mama
Two rednecks from Arkansas were out hunting. They decided to separate to get a better chance of catching something. The first redneck says to the other, "If you get lost, fire three shots into the air every hour. That way I can pinpoint you and find you." After about three hours, the second redneck finds he is really lost. He decides to fire three shots into the air as the first man told him. He then waits an hour and does it again. He repeats this until he is out of ammo. The next morning, the first redneck finds the second with the help of forest rangers. He asks the second redneck man if he did what he told him to do. The redneck answers, "Yes, I fired three shots into the air every hour on the hour until I ran out of arrows."
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has 77.76 % from 54 votes. More jokes about: hunting, redneck, stupid, time
Two students talk: "What are you reading?" "Quantum physics theory book." "But why are you reading it upside-down?" "It makes no difference anyway."
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has 77.70 % from 76 votes. More jokes about: nerd, student, stupid
Boy: "Our principal is so stupid!" Girl: "Don't you know who I am?" Boy: "No?" Girl: "I'm the principals daughter". Boy: "Do you know who I am?" Girl: "No." Boy: "Good." *walks away quickly*
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has 77.45 % from 112 votes. More jokes about: communication, management, school, stupid, vulgar
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