The best technology jokes

A big party is being held to honor relational database systems and their impact on modern society. Outside the venue, the host awaits the guests. The first limousine arrives and out steps Oracle followed by 4 people. Host: Who have you brought along? Oracle: I have 4 DBA's in tow. One to install me, one to design the databases, one to administer me, and the other to justify the cost. A second limo arrives and out steps DB2 followed by 40 people. Host: Who have you bought along? DB2: I have 2 DBA's, 2 hardware specialists, and 36 consultants. A third limo arrives and out steps SQL Server all on his own. Host: Why haven't you brought anyone? SQL Server: I didn't bring anyone because I am easy to install and am basically self managing. But I did bring the #sqlhelp Twitter hashtag for when the excrement hits the fan. 20 minutes later, up rushes MySQL, unshaved, hair a mess. Host: Where have you been MySQL? MySQL: Sorry, I thought it was February 31st.
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has 64.05 % from 42 votes. More jokes about: coding, geek, IT, party, technology
Yo mama is so fat, it takes two texts for her to send a selfie.
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has 63.82 % from 35 votes. More jokes about: communication, fat, insulting, technology, Yo mama
There's a technical term for a sunny, warm day which follows two rainy days. It's called Monday.
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has 63.75 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: technology, weather
Getting married is like buying a dishwasher. You'll never have to do it by hand again.
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has 63.26 % from 79 votes. More jokes about: dirty, marriage, masturbation, technology, work
E-mail returned to sender, insufficient voltage.
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has 63.17 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: geek, IT, technology
Q: What will my computer printer warranty cover? A: Your mouse pad.
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has 62.88 % from 34 votes. More jokes about: computer, geek, IT, nerd, technology
If I wanted a warm fuzzy feeling, I'd antialias my graphics!
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has 62.61 % from 13 votes. More jokes about: coding, computer, geek, IT, technology
Yo mama so ugly, Instagram tagged her selfies 'explicit content'.
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has 61.71 % from 36 votes. More jokes about: technology, ugly, Yo mama
A blonde went to the eletronic store and she asked, "How is much is this TV?" The salesman said, "Sorry, we don"t sell to blondes." The next day she came back as a brunette. She asked the salesman how much the TV was. He said, "Sorry, we don"t sell to blondes." The next day she came back as a red head and asked the salesman how much the TV was. He said, "Sorry we don"t sell to blondes." She replied, " I came in here as a brunette and a red head. How do you know I am a blonde?" "Because that is not a TV, it's a microwave."
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has 61.59 % from 39 votes. More jokes about: blonde, business, customer service, stupid, technology
What kind of doctor fixes broken websites? A URLologist.
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has 61.43 % from 45 votes. More jokes about: doctor, geek, internet, IT, technology
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