"Why do you keep going back to that fishing website?"
"I can't help it, I'm hooked."
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There's a rumor that Steve Jobs, has been a Buddhist, has been reincarnated as a factory worker on a sweatshop assembly line in China.
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Q: What will my computer printer warranty cover?
A: Your mouse pad.
A customer walked into our store looking for Christmas lights.
I showed her our top brand, but, wanting to make sure each bulb worked, she asked me to take them out of the box and plug them in.
I did, and each one lit up.
"Great," she said.
I carefully placed the string of lights back in the box.
But as I handed them to her, she looked alarmed.
"I don't want this box," she said abruptly. "It's been opened."
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Yo momma so FAT, she can't save files bigger than 4 GB.
If I wanted a warm fuzzy feeling, I'd antialias my graphics!
I will be unable to delete all the emails you send me until I return from vacation.
Please be patient, and your mail will be deleted in the order it was received.
Q: What's the difference between a blonde and a solar powered calculator?
A: The blonde works in the dark!
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Steve Jobs was an amazing man.
He will live in my hard drive forever!
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One day there were two men.
One was driving a Mercedes Benz and the other was riding a horse, both waiting at the traffic light.
The man in the Benz looked at the horse and noticed something different, that horse was not a normal horse.
It was an electric horse and has 3 buttons in it if you press one button it moves forward, if you press the second button it moves faster and if you press the last button it will stop.
The guy in the Benz was really impressed, so he asked the guy riding the horse if he wanted to trade the horse for the Benz, so he agreed.
They did the trade and the guy riding the horse drove the Benz and went on his way but the other guy was still stuck in the traffic light trying to get the horse to move.
He tried all the buttons but the horse does not seem to be moving so he called the horse owner and asked him if he can come back to show him how to move the horse.
So the guy came back, he pressed all the buttons again but the horse still doesn't move.
He noticed the horse's penis was up so he tells the other guy: "Ohh you forgot to release the handbrake!"