Yo momma so FAT, she can't save files bigger than 4 GB.
Q: How many Apple Iphone 6 early adopters does it take to change a light bulb?
A: 3001. 1 to do the work and 3000 to go online and bitch about the lack of obscure features!
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Q: What do builders use to make websites?
A: Com.crete.
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"I spent the whole evening knotsurfing!"
"Don't you mean netsurfing?"
"No, everyone was complaining because I tied the computer up for ages!"
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A man works in the operations department of a large bank.
Employees call him from the field when they have problems with their computers.
One night a blonde woman from a branch bank called him and said, "I've got smoke coming from the back of my computer terminal. Do you guys have a fire downtown?"
There's a rumor that Steve Jobs, has been a Buddhist, has been reincarnated as a factory worker on a sweatshop assembly line in China.
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I will be unable to delete all the emails you send me until I return from vacation.
Please be patient, and your mail will be deleted in the order it was received.
Q: What do you call an accountant without a spreadsheet?
A: Lost.
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Getting married is like buying a dishwasher.
You'll never have to do it by hand again.
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My New Years resolution is 1080p.
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