90% of programmer errors come from data from other programmers.
"Have you got the address of the butter website?" "Yes, but don't spread it around."
Yo mama so stupid that when she turned on airplane mode... She thought she could fly.
Q: What has a key but no lock and has space but no room? A: A computer?
Q: What do birds give out on Halloween? A: Tweets!
It was reported this week that Google would soon launch its own cellphone as a challenge to the iPhone. Also a challenge to the iPhone? Making phone calls.
Before Instagram, I used to waste so much time sitting around having to imagine what my friends' food looked like.
Q: What does an SEO and part-time chiropractor work on? A: Your bad backlinks.
Your momma so ugly her face is used as an x ray in mortal kombat X.
Getting married is like buying a dishwasher. You'll never have to do it by hand again.