The best technology jokes

Programmers: See one warning, fixes warning. Compiles... See two errors, fixes errors. Compiles... See 83 errors, pitches computer.

Chuck Norris Streams Netflix on his VCR.

I provide technical support for the computer software published by my company. One day, over the phone, I was helping a customer install a product on a Macintosh. The procedure required him to delete an old file. On the Mac, there is an icon of a trash can that is used to collect items to be permanently deleted. I told the customer to click on the old file and drag it to the trash. Then I had him perform a few other steps. As a reminder, I said, "Don't forget to empty the trash." Obediently he replied, "Yes, dear."

Q: How many Microsoft engineers does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: None, they just declare darkness the standard!

It was reported this week that Google would soon launch its own cellphone as a challenge to the iPhone. Also a challenge to the iPhone? Making phone calls.

Q: How many Microsoft executives does it take to change a light bulb? A: We can see no need for uninstallation and have therefore made no provision for light bulbs to be removed.

"Have you got the address of the butter website?" "Yes, but don't spread it around."

Q: Where's Spiderman's home page? A: On the world wide web.

Q: What do computers and air conditions have in common? A: They're both become useless when you open windows.

Chuck can use "save" in real life. But he doesn't need it.