90% of programmer errors come from data from other programmers.
Before Instagram, I used to waste so much time sitting around having to imagine what my friends' food looked like.
"Have you got the address of the butter website?" "Yes, but don't spread it around."
Wife asked her husband to give her the newspaper. Husband: "How backward you are? Technology has developed so much and you are still asking for the newspaper... Take my iPad..." Wife took the iPad and killed the Cockroach. Husband faints. Moral: Whatever the wife asks, give her without argument. Show your smartness in office, not at home.
Yo mama so stupid that when she turned on airplane mode... She thought she could fly.
Q: What has a key but no lock and has space but no room? A: A computer?
Q: What do you call an accountant without a spreadsheet? A: Lost.
It was reported this week that Google would soon launch its own cellphone as a challenge to the iPhone. Also a challenge to the iPhone? Making phone calls.
Q: What does an SEO and part-time chiropractor work on? A: Your bad backlinks.
Your momma so ugly her face is used as an x ray in mortal kombat X.