Q: What do computers and air conditions have in common? A: They're both become useless when you open windows.
Chuck Norris sent a e-mail through the postal service.
According to Apple what is the leading cause of iphone 6 overheating? Downloading images of Candice Swanepoel.
A man was robbing a house in the middle of the night. All of a sudden, he heard a parrot cry out. "Jesus is gonna get you." The robber ignored it, and takes the TV. Again, the parrot cries out. "Jesus is gonna get you." The robber started to get a little worried. "What's your name, birdie?" "Moses." "What dumbass named you Moses?" "The same dumbass who called his rottweiler Jesus."
There is no 'ctrl' button on Chuck Norris's computer. Chuck Norris is always in control.
Chuck Norris has a website, is called the internet.
Q: What do you call a terrorist attack in the Middle East? A: A Selfie!
Yo momma so FAT, she can't save files bigger than 4 GB.
Two little boys go into the grocery store. One is nine, one is four. The nine year old grabs a box of tampons from the shelf and carries it to the register for check-out. The cashier asks "Oh, these must be for your mom, huh?" The nine year old replies "Nope, not for my mom." Without thinking, the cashier responded "Well, they must be for your sister then?" The nine year old quipped, "Nope, not for my sister either." The cashier had now become curious "Oh. Not for your mom and not for your sister, who are they for?" The nine year old says "They’re for my four year old little brother." The cashier is surprised "Your four year old little brother?" The nine year old explains: "Well yeah, they say on TV if you wear one of these you can swim or ride a bike and my little brother can’t do either of them!"
Yo' Mama is so old, she dreams in black and white.