It was reported this week that Google would soon launch its own cellphone as a challenge to the iPhone. Also a challenge to the iPhone? Making phone calls.
I love the lines the men use to get us into bed: "Please, I'll only put it in for a minute." What am I...? A microwave?
Years ago Chuck Norris set up a simple little home network and gave it a name. It's called the internet.
Scene: A radio newsroom. Caller: "I just wanted to let you know you're off the air." Host: "Yes, we know. The engineers are working on it." Caller: "It would be nice if you put something on the air that says that."
A customer walked into our store looking for Christmas lights. I showed her our top brand, but, wanting to make sure each bulb worked, she asked me to take them out of the box and plug them in. I did, and each one lit up. "Great," she said. I carefully placed the string of lights back in the box. But as I handed them to her, she looked alarmed. "I don't want this box," she said abruptly. "It's been opened."
"I spent the whole evening knotsurfing!" "Don't you mean netsurfing?" "No, everyone was complaining because I tied the computer up for ages!"
Autocorrect can kiss my ask!
Chuck Norris can send you a roundhouse kick by E-Mail.
I used to play tennis, baseball, basketball and chess, but I stopped after my son broke my playstation.
A Twitter exchange between an angry customer and an apologetic Domino's Pizza: Customer: "Yoooo I ordered a Pizza & Came with no Toppings on it or anything, it's Just Bread" Domino's: "We're sorry to hear about this!" Customer (minutes later): "Never mind, I opened the pizza upside down :/"