The best technology jokes

Actual dialogue of a former WordPerfect Customer Support employee with a caller: "Ridge Hall computer assistant; may I help you?" "Yes, well, I'm having trouble with WordPerfect." "What sort of trouble?" "Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden the words went away." "Went away?" "They disappeared." "Hmm. So what does your screen look like now?" "Nothing." "Nothing?" "It's blank; it won't accept anything when I type." "Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get out?" "How do I tell?" "Can you see the C: prompt on the screen?" "What's a sea-prompt?" "Never mind. Can you move the cursor around on the screen?" "There isn't any cursor, I told you, it won't accept anything I type." "Does your monitor have a power indicator?" "What's a monitor?" "It's the thing with the screen on it that looks like a TV. Does it have a little light that tells you when it's on?" "I don't know." "Well, then look on the back of the monitor and find where the power cord goes into it. Can you see that?" "Yes, I think so." "Great. Follow the cord to the plug, and tell me if it's plugged into the wall." "...Yes, it is." "When you were behind the monitor, did you notice that there were two cables plugged into the back of it, not just one?" "No." "Well, there are. I need you to look back there again and find the other cable." "... Okay, here it is." "Follow it for me, and tell me if it's plugged securely into the back of your computer." "I can't reach." "Uh huh. Well, can you see if it is?" "No." "Even if you maybe put your knee on something and lean way over?" "Oh, it's not because I don't have the right angle – it's because it's dark." "Dark?" "Yes – the office light is off, and the only light I have is coming in from the window." "Well, turn on the office light then." "I can't." "No? Why not?" "Because there's a power outage." "A power... A power outage? Ah, Okay, we've got it licked now. Do you still have the boxes and manuals and packing stuff your computer came in?" "Well, yes, I keep them in the closet." "Good. Go get them, and unplug your system and pack it up just like it was when you got it. Then take it back to the store you bought it from." "Really? Is it that bad?" "Yes, I'm afraid it is." "Well, all right then, I suppose. What do I tell them?" "Tell them you're too stupid to own a computer."
Vote:
has 69.50 % from 206 votes. More jokes about: communication, computer, customer service, stupid, technology
Your Momma is so fat, she takes her picture with Google Earth.
Vote:
has 69.15 % from 121 votes. More jokes about: fat, insulting, IT, technology, Yo mama
Q: Why do C# programmers have trouble dating women? A: They want women with class, but they treat them like objects.
Vote:
has 68.83 % from 72 votes. More jokes about: coding, dating, geek, IT, technology
Wife asked her husband to give her the newspaper. Husband: "How backward you are? Technology has developed so much and you are still asking for the newspaper... Take my iPad..." Wife took the iPad and killed the Cockroach. Husband faints. Moral: Whatever the wife asks, give her without argument. Show your smartness in office, not at home.
Vote:
has 68.73 % from 49 votes. More jokes about: communication, husband, office, technology, wife
On Unix, I always hide all of my personal files in the /bin/laden directory.
Vote:
has 68.63 % from 29 votes. More jokes about: computer, geek, IT, programmer, technology
Q: What deodorant do SEO consultants wear? A: Lynx
Vote:
has 68.63 % from 29 votes. More jokes about: communication, internet, IT, technology, work
Yo mama so stupid that when you told her the mouse on her computer was broken she took it to the vet.
Vote:
has 68.38 % from 56 votes. More jokes about: computer, doctor, stupid, technology, Yo mama
How many Microsoft programmers does it take to start the November 5th bonfire? Zero Microsoft declares darkness to be a new standard.
Vote:
has 67.88 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: IT, programmer, technology
The biggest SEO problem with trampoline websites is the high user bounce rate!
Vote:
has 67.78 % from 36 votes. More jokes about: computer, geek, internet, IT, technology
Scene: A radio newsroom. Caller: "I just wanted to let you know you're off the air." Host: "Yes, we know. The engineers are working on it." Caller: "It would be nice if you put something on the air that says that."
Vote:
has 67.68 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: communication, technology, work
<<<78910
More jokes →
Page 7 of 24.