Your Momma is so fat, she takes her picture with Google Earth.
I never thought that the Internet was very useful, but now I've changed my mind. Let's hope your new one works better than the one you had before.
I used to play tennis, baseball, basketball and chess, but I stopped after my son broke my playstation.
Chuck Norris has a website, is called the internet.
Scene: A radio newsroom. Caller: "I just wanted to let you know you're off the air." Host: "Yes, we know. The engineers are working on it." Caller: "It would be nice if you put something on the air that says that."
A Sailor sent an e-mail to his wife, informing her that his ship would be returning from deployment a day early. Arriving home, he found his wife with another man. Upset, he stormed off and got a room at the Navy Lodge to decide what to do next. His thoughts were interrupted by a call from his mother-in-law. "Bill" she said, "I checked with my daughter and, as I expected, there is a perfectly good explanation for this whole episode." "This I've got to hear," the Sailor said. "It was an honest mistake," the mother-in -law said. " She never got your e-mail!"
Q: Why do Java programmers have to wear glasses? A: Because they don't C#.
Getting married is like buying a dishwasher. You'll never have to do it by hand again.
Your momma so ugly her face is used as an x ray in mortal kombat X.
Autocorrect can kiss my ask!