The best time jokes

Chuck Norris has sneezing allergies in the mid-to-late fall. This time is typically referred to as hurricane season.
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has 61.28 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, time, weather
The longer I stay at home, the more homeless I look.
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has 61.28 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: life, time
There was once a puppy called May who loved to pick quarrels with animals who were bigger than she was. One day she argued with a lion. The next day was the first of June. Why? Because that was the end of May!
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has 61.25 % from 26 votes. More jokes about: animal, love, time
Two girl sprinters are training for the 100 metres race. One says to the other: "You won't believe this, but I've just run 100 metres in 10 seconds." The other says: "But that's impossible, that's the world record." So the other says: "Ah hah, but I took a short cut."
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has 61.25 % from 26 votes. More jokes about: athlete, time
A married couple has invoked the ghosts, after 15 minutes of invoking has appeared only the face of the grandmother of the man. The married couple has asked the grandmother together: "What would you like to tell us dear granny? " The granny has said: "I am looking forward to seeing you soon. Have a nice day!"
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has 61.25 % from 26 votes. More jokes about: couple, marriage, mean, old people, time
Yo mama is so fat it took her three whole months to get through a door.
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has 61.01 % from 29 votes. More jokes about: fat, insulting, time, Yo mama
Q: What's a terrorist's favorite day in November? A: Bomb fire night.
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has 61.01 % from 29 votes. More jokes about: holiday, terrorist, time
This mothers day, Men all around were criticized for not calling their mothers on such an important day. But me, I thought of the best way to get out of such a mess. Heres how the beginning of the Monday after Mothers Day went for me: Mother: "You know Mike, I was thinking and out of all my sons, you never called me on Mothers Day!" Me: "You know Mom, I was thinking, and out of all my mothers, you never called me on SON-day!" Something like this is bound to make her smile and forget, worked with my Mom!
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has 60.85 % from 32 votes. More jokes about: anniversary, time, women
People say that time heals all wounds. They obviously never got roundhouse kicked by Chuck Norris
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has 60.85 % from 32 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, communication, health, time
A runaway man from prison that was sentenced for life, has stayed in for 25 years. While trying to find a place to hide, he enters a newlywed’s house, ties the man in a chair in a corner of the room and ties the woman in the bed. He climbs on the bed, on top of the woman and appears to be kissing her neck. Then he gets up and leaves the room. Immediately the husband drags his chair up to the bed and whispers to his wife: "My love, this man hasn’t seen a woman for many years. I saw him kissing your neck and rushing out. Just play nice with him and do as he asks you to. If he wants to have sex with you just agree and pretend that you like it. Whatever you do, don’t go against his will and upset him. Both our lives are at your hands right now, be strong and remember that I love you." As soon as the half naked woman recovers from the shock of what she just heard, she says: "Honey, I feel very relieved that you see it this way. You are right, this man has not seen a woman for years but he wasn’t kissing my neck. He was whispering to me. He said that he finds you very cute and asked me if we have Vaseline in the bathroom! Be strong and remember that I love you too!"
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has 60.65 % from 44 votes. More jokes about: life, marriage, prison, time
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