The best time jokes

When Viagra first came out my wife and I decided to give it a go to see what all the fuss was about. I popped the pill and waited the 15 minutes and then it was on for young and old. We timed the performance to the minute and it all finally subsided at 3 hours and 17 minutes. I asked the missus what she thought and she simply stated that she couldn't understand what all the hype was about for an extra 17 minutes...
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has 55.13 % from 61 votes. More jokes about: dirty, sex, time, viagra, wife
Q: What do you call a trial balance that doesn't balance? A: A late night.
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has 55.11 % from 30 votes. More jokes about: accountant, time
I'm tired 8 days a week.
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has 54.97 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: life, time
Q: Did you hear that the travel agency NEVER SEE YOU AGAIN offers the flights over the Bermuda Triangle? A: Mostly is the trip successful for the first time, max. for the second time. Very popular is also the camping in tents near the shore of the river Nile.
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has 54.97 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: business, death, time, travel
Scientists called it a big bang, Chuck Norris called it an alarm clock.
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has 54.77 % from 35 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, time
A couple had been married for 30 years and was celebrating the husband's 60th birthday. During the party, a fairy appeared and said that because they had been such a loving couple all those years, she would give them one wish each. The wife said, "We've been so poor all these years, and I've never gotten to see the world. I wish we could travel all over the world." The fairy waved her wand and POOF! She had the tickets in her hand. Next, it was the husband's turn. He paused for a moment, and then said, "Well, I'd like to be married to a woman 30 years younger than me." The fairy waved her wand and POOF! He was 90.
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has 54.66 % from 263 votes. More jokes about: age, birthday, husband, marriage, time
There was a trucker riding along on a highway, While riding he sees a priest on the side of the road sticking his thumb out trying to catch a ride. So out of curtisy the trucker stops and picks up the priest. They start chatting and having a good time. On the way they see a homeless person on the side of the street. The truckers veers off and hits the homeless person. *bu-dump* the trucker sees homeless person,*bu-dump* the driver who is laughing histerically wasn't watching the road and there was another bu-dump, The driver immediatly stops and looks around nervous."what was that?" he looks at the priest and the priest looks back. "You missed a homeless guy, but don't worry I got him with the door."
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has 54.59 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: life, priest, time
There were three guys manhers, shaup and shed. They went for a drive, shed wanted to go to the store to pick up snacks for the ride. So shed went in the store. Twenty minutes passes they were getting impatient so manhers went in what's taking him so long. Minutes later a police officer went to him and asked his name he replied "shaup!" Police officer was startled what he said. Police said "where's your manners boy!". Shaup replied to the officer "he's inside picking up shed*
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has 54.59 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: cop, food, time, travel
A couple had been married for 50 years and had raised a brood of 10 children and was blessed with 20 grandchildren. When asked the secret for staying together all that time, the wife replies, "Many years ago we made a promise to each other: the first one to pack up and leave has to take all the kids."
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has 54.38 % from 149 votes. More jokes about: kids, marriage, time
Buy a dog a toy and it will play with it for ever. Buy a cat a present and it will play with the wrapper for 10 minutes.
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has 54.15 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: animal, game, time
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